Boston Public
Chapter Twenty-Six

Episode Report Card
Key Grip: B- | Grade It Now!
By Hook or by Brooke

Some transition shots indicate that we are crossing to the other side of the freeway, as it were, and then we see that we are at Raymond J. Flinn Academy, which is, presumably, where Mini-Stee goes to school. Sure enough, Steven and X are sitting in the principal's office, waiting for a meeting to begin. X suggests that perhaps she should do the talking, but Steven points out that he has been involved in thousands of conferences of this kind, and that he is perfectly capable of doing exactly what is…then the principal comes in, and Steven stands up and starts shouting, "This is an outrage! It was an accident! She didn't even get a hearing!" Principal Flinn, as I'll call him, assures Steven that his daughter will get a hearing, and that she's smart, and a leader, but that they "can't control her." X is all, "So you give up? Just like that?" What part of "can't" does she not understand? They have clearly already tried and failed. Principal Flinn says, "Mrs. Harper. This was a very beloved goat." Case closed.

In the car outside, Steven and X have what seems like a very familiar fight. "Why didn't you tell me this was going on? I'm her father." "But you would have dealt with it like a principal." "Don't accuse me…" Blah dee blah, I'm not a bad parent, you're a bad parent, no you, no you, you're always at school, blah blah blah. Blah. Steven honks the horn to get her to shut up. "This is about our daughter. And you have no…Luanna, you have to let me know what's going on." X is all, "You have never wanted to know what's really going on. You just want to know that everything's okay. You want her to sit on your knee and be daddy's little girl, and she likes doing that, and it's been a perfect arrangement for both of you. I'm not trying to say that in anger. She loves you. And you love her. And that's great. But you have never wanted to know what's really going on." Steven is silent, perhaps pondering the incisive wisdom of her comments, or perhaps thinking, "She's not even that hot. Wasn't I going to ask out Marilyn? What happened to that? Hey, where is Marilyn? She's not in this episode at all."

Courtroom. Some honorable judge presides over the motion to dismiss in the case of Lionel Pratt v. Harvey Lipschultz. And you know what that means: time for me to translate that fancy lawyer jargon into understandable everyday speech. Scott approaches the bench and says, "Me talk now. What Harvey do is bad." Harvey is upset to hear this, but the judge tells him to be quiet. "But is no reason to make attack on him with the tribal rule-stick. For many moons now, man who teach can bend rule-stick like it made from field-grass, when he wield power over those who learn. Do Harvey say bad thing? He do. But this not same thing as to hit Lionel with the closed fist. Lionel no even say that he feel hurt at all, let alone say how." Talk Time raises her hand, and asks if she can respond point by point, because she's having trouble keeping up with Scott, but the judge tells her to wait her turn. Scott goes on, "Also, to be a breaking of the rule-stick, Lionel must show loss of gold pieces from his pocket, but he no show this. Last thing is: this not show good example for others who learn from those who teach. Should they drag teaching-folk to the place of tribal judgment each time they do not like what words come from the teaching one's mouth? This is like Boulder of Daktar rolling down Hill of Mnjjlwin." Talk Time gets up and starts talking, but I can just quote her directly, because she's not using fancy legal jargon. "You can't call your students douchebags! Who sets the example if not the teacher?" The judge agrees with Guber that Talk Time needs to show damages, either economic or medical, and Talk Time says, "Our damages are putative. That means they're coming." See? She did it for me. The judge wants to know how, so she explains: "Lionel Pratt plans to apply for college. Admissions officers will want recommendations, they'll want to know how he is thought of. How is he ever supposed to get into Dartmouth if the faculty at Winslow High thinks he's a dick?" Talk Time alleges that Harvey is a legend at the school, and the other teachers look up to him, and Harvey stands up and says, "That's a lie!" Heh. Anyway, Talk Time says there ought to be a consequence for Harvey's behavior, but Scott counters, "Question is not is Harvey bad. Question is does Lionel have reason to drag him to Cave of Judging. Many many papers I give you show that other teaching-folk think Harvey to be a bad man. Lionel is not hurt by his bad words." Talk Time says, "I told you. It's putative." They glare at each other.

The Un-geon. Ronnie is prepping her students for Billy Zane's Shakespeare performance. "You might be tempted to laugh. Because Shakespeare, when performed, can sometimes be funny. But I'm going to ask you to respect the feelings of the actor, give him your attention and…okay, look. He's a friend of mine. He takes this very seriously so, out of courtesy to him, and as a favor to me, please, please, don't laugh. In fact, if you don't laugh, I'll take you all out to dinner." Heh.

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Boston Public




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