Sanctum Stevenorium. The Harper Image is waiting in the office for Steven, and he tells her she really did get expelled from school, but she knows that already. He says they've decided to have her go to Winslow. She's not so psyched about this. "Mom agreed to that?" Steven tells her that the idea is for him and her to find more opportunities to cross paths, so he can be more of a dad. "You're my dad now. I don't want you to be my principal." She says that they're good at birthdays and holidays and weekends, and he's all, "Well, I wanna be good at more than that." She says, "I'm afraid we're gonna hate each other. What if…we hate each other." And Steven's all, "Well. That'd be a start, I guess." Awww. This episode is all about the sweetness. And The Hook Lady, of course.
The hallway. Harvey is yelling at Scott that his defense sucked because he said such awful things about him. Marla appears and yells at Scott that she made another appointment, and he better actually be there this time. Then Lauren and Steven walk by, and we follow them. Steven is telling Lauren about Daughter of the Revolution's transfer to Winslow, and Lauren promises to look out for her. I'm starting to get annoyed by the hallway. All it's really for is snapshots that delineate the various storylines, to remind us what's going on in case we took a nap for part of the episode, done while the characters walk fast so it seems like there's lots of action even though there's not. It's like an environmental supplement to The Exposition Fairy. So, it's not so much a hallway as it is Delineation Alley, where you can purchase all your plot point needs. Anyway, just then, Brooke comes bounding down the stairs and yells at her father. "You're threatening to shut down the school newspaper? They asked me to be a contributing editor, I won't let you censor…" "They saddled you up to deal with me?" "Nobody saddled me up." "You're being used, Brooke! I am the principal of this school." "You're talking to me like you're my father." And so on. But if she wanted different treatment, she probably shouldn't have stormed up to him all pouty and acted like his daughter. Brooke stalks off. Lauren is all, "First days are always bumpy."
The Un-geon. Billy Zane is wearing a flowy-silky shirt, 'cause he's about to do Shakespeare, and he's giving a little preface. "The topic he wrote about, love, lust, death, these remain timeless. Much like the universal language of music. So, it suddenly occurred to me that, instead of coming in and perform a scene from Shakespeare…in 1969 there was a film version of Romeo and Juliet with a really wonderful love theme. And I'd like to sing that for you right now." Um…okay. This is a very funny idea. But how on earth will this convince them to like Shakespeare? Zuh? How will this prove his point to Ronnie? Guh? Like The Shoe Lady before him, Billy Zane has fallen victim to David Kelley's theory that things that make no sense are funnier than things that do. Oh well. Billy Zane sings "A Time For Us." He's got a decent voice, but he hams it way up. The class laughs. For a while, it seems like he's trying to make them laugh, and is in on the joke, but then he sheepishly stops the music, so I guess he's not. Oh, all right: Heh. But only because Billy Zane really sells it.
Vice-office. Marla is gnawing off Scott's ear about obesity and diabetes and blah blah blah ENOUGH WITH THIS. Scott says, "Marla, we make over one hundred thousand dollars a year from those machines. It's about buying books, and uniforms. We need that money." Marla tries to protest, but Scott downshifts into menacing and says, "And as you go in search of another battle, don't pick Meredith Peters. Do I make myself clear?" Then, when she tries to leave, he stops her, and goes soft: "Marla. The issue of school nutrition, it's a valid one. The idea that we sell junk food to make money, all the schools are doing it, it's…frightening. And if a teacher stands up to make noise about it, odds are he or she will command some attention. The reason you have a difficult time doing so, is because you're all about noise. Now, I say this not to hurt you, but Marla, you seize on issues of the day and simply attack with them. I don't know whether it's your medication, or your underlying medical condition, or just your personality, but whatever it is, it's too bad because, often, what you have to say, however valid…nobody listens." Wow, Scott really has been going to therapy. The Exposition Fairy comes in and tells Scott that the judge ruled on Harvey's case. Scott opens the envelope. "I won."