Ugh. Okay, so Walt has barely made it off of Hank’s cul-de-sac before Hank is on the phone with Skyler. They schedule an immediate meet-up at a diner (where else, on this show?), where Skyler is scared shitless, and when Hank tries to barrel her over into putting her story on tape so he can quickly get Walt locked up, Skyler starts freaking out about getting a lawyer and bolts. Things manage to go oven worse when Marie comes by the house to talk. After surmising that Skyler knew the truth about Walt since before Hank was shot, she slaps her sister across the face and then tries to take baby Holly away. Hank stops her and they leave Skyler to figure her shit out in private.
Meanwhile, Walt is freaking out, thinking that Skyler just went right to Hank and told him everything. First order of business is to get Saul’s guys to round up the money. They probably pocket a few stacks for themselves and then load the rest into barrels, which Walt then drives out to the desert and buries. He then commits the coordinates of the location to a lottery ticket, which he later magnets to his fridge, where no one will ever figure it out ever I bet.
Once home, he heads straight for the shower, but between the stress of Skyler asking a billion questions, the heat stroke he probably suffered in the desert, and all that cancer (oh, yeah, Hank told Skyler about the cancer), he passes out. Some hours later, he wakes up to Skyler doting on him. He tells her he knows she probably ratted him out to Hank; he’ll turn himself in, if only she’ll promise not to give up the money, to pass it on to this kids, so this whole endeavor won’t be for nothing. Now, last we checked in with Skyler’s emotions, the only thing she wanted was to be out. But now, she knows that Walt can’t go down without the money going away. So suddenly she cares about the money again, and she starts advising Walt to keep quiet, since Hank doesn’t have very much in the way of real evidence, or else he wouldn’t have been grilling her so hard. I’ll probably work this out more in the recap, but for now, this feels like a major selling out of the Skyler character for plot purposes.
The other uncomfortable realization is that Walt can’t go down without Jesse going down too. After his nighttime money-tossing escapade, Jesse crashes his car and ends up drifting listlessly on a merry-go-round. By episode’s end, he’s been brought in for questioning (where’d all that money come from, etc.), and Hank sees an opportunity to lean on him to get to Walt.
Meanwhile, in Lydia Rodart-Quayle news, she gets taken out to the desert (blindfolded) to get a look at Declan’s meth operation, which is well below the Heisenberg standard, but Declan simply doesn’t give a fuck. Heisenberg’s stuff is off the market, so the meth-heads will buy what they’re offered. This isn’t good enough for Lydia nor her Czech backers, so she settles herself into a nice, quiet corner while Todd, Todd’s uncle, and Todd’s uncle’s gang members massacre Declan and his crew. Guys, is Todd going to end up being this season’s Big Bad?
Previously: Lydia tried unsuccessfully to lure Walt back into the business, and Hank and Walt put all their awful cards on the table.
Oh, lest we forget, Jesse went driving around some run-down neighborhoods chucking stacks of cash onto people’s lawns. The cold open, in fact, shows us an old man living in one of those beat-up houses, who looks like the scary (but not scary at all! Just in a fight with his son!) old man from Home Alone. He gets in his truck to head out somewhere -- Tupperware party? Fantasy football draft? -- when he spots something in the driveway. If you guessed it was a stack of Jesse’s cash, congratulations… you just watched the previouslies like the rest of us. So the old man picks up the money, and then spots another stack a few steps away. Given his age and beard situation, I'm holding out hope that he’ll start hopping around like an old-timey prospector, but no. He just follows the money, stack by stack.
Here’s where I think he gets greedy and crosses the street to pick up more money. Clearly, that money was supposed to be spread around to everybody, sir. Way to be a money hog. He follows the money trail off the road and into a playground, where the lights of an immobilized car are heralding bad news for the driver, who is obviously Jesse. As the old man investigates, we see the car came to a low-impact halt. Upon even closer observation, we see Jesse -- mobile, if barely -- lying down on the merry-go-round, listlessly turning himself in circles. He’s really wringing this depressed-millionaire thing for all it’s worth, huh?
Back to the cul-de-sac where we left off last week. Remember that yellow RC car the kid on Hank’s street is playing with? Still there. After the events of Dirt Bike Kid, any shots of children playing are going to seem ominous. We’re looking from the outside at Hank’s garage door, while Hank and Walt finish up their altercation from the premiere, which makes it two straight episodes where we pick up right where we left off the episode before… only outside a door. Anyway, the garage opens and out stalks Walt, looking angry and also a little concerned. He and Hank have a kind of Old West staredown, and then Hank hits the automatic door-closer, at which point Walt is free to freak out and scramble to his car. After somehow once again avoiding running over the little kid’s race car, Walt backs up and only makes it a few feet before he stops to dial's Skyler digits. Poor Mariano at the car wash gets hollered at to make Skyler get on the phone with him, but apparently she’s on the other line. Walt looks in his rearview and sees Hank in his driveway on his phone, and it dawns on Walt who Skyler must be talking to. So he blazes a trail down the street and it’s onto Plan B.