Breaking Bad
Crawl Space

Episode Report Card
Joe R: A | 9 USERS: A+
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It Is to Laugh

Back in Mexico, Jesse is worried as shit. The blood bag draining into Mike is getting low, and he brings this to Head Medic's attention. He directs Jesse to grab a fresh bag from the fridge. Inside, there are blood supplies for Gus, Mike and Jesse. Man, when Gus Fring travels, he travels prepared, yo. Head Medic also knows Jesse's blood type, height, weight, bad habits, allergies and medical conditions (none). Jesse is less freaked out than he could be; he is somewhat used to this by now. Head Medic grabs a bag of O-neg for Mike. Gus comes in looking better. Alive. It's time to go, he tells Jesse. What about Mike? He's not ambulatory; Gus will send for him. He grabs the chain that Mike took from around Eladio's neck, embraces Head Medic, who is clearly an old friend, and takes off. Jesse casts one last look back at poor Mike. Heartbreaking.

Outside, it's vamanos time. No airplane today, just six miles on foot to the Texas border. They'll get picked up there. Jesse wonders if Gus will make it. They've been through the shit now. They're not equals, but almost all the barriers between them have been lifted. Gus says Jesse is ready to cook solo now. Jesse stops in his tracks. "Let Mr. White go," he tells Gus, halfway between a beg and a command. "Pay him off or fire him but don't kill him." "You know that won't work," Gus says. Jesse stands firm: "Then you got a problem." Back to the walking.

Skyler and Holly return home from grocery shopping, and Skyler checks the machine. It's a message from Ted, so she turns the volume down lest Junior hear from the other room. Ted's all, "About that thing we discussed? I can't do it, I'm sorry, know that's not what you wanted to hear." That is an understatement.

Smash cut to Ted's house, where he answers the door, nearly tripping over his rug on the way. It seems Skyler framed the whole IRS pay-off thing around Walt's gambling addiction. Ted soft-pedals her, saying he knows this is heavy stuff, but he just can't, in good conscience, pay the IRS with dirty gambling money. Skyler's like, why, are your check-writing hands damaged or something? Also, when did you grow a conscience? Ted's check-writing hands have apparently been hard at work writing Skyler a check for the money she gave him. She's so pissed, you guys. She lays out the scenario where Ted doesn't pay the IRS, they go investigating, find out that Walt and Skyler paid for the car wash with "untaxed gambling earnings," and they'll go to prison, where Ted will already be. Ted, infuriatingly naïve, is like, whoa! Nobody's going to prison here! Skyler can't even process the ridiculousness of Ted. We've all been there, in that argument with somebody who's unarguable because they don't accept simple facts. Ted Beneke is basically the Tea Party telling Skyler that Obama is a Muslim. Ted says even if he pays the IRS, he's still bankrupt; his life is still ruined. Skyler reads into this: "You're saying you can't take the money I gave you...but you can take a larger amount?" Ted strenuously backs off and insists that's not what he means, but Sykler persists: "Ted, are you blackmailing me?" Now maybe Skyler is writing her own narrative here, but nevertheless she twists the knife, bringing up the Mercedes he bought. He's like, well, you know how ironclad those leases are, you know. Oh my GOD, what a wiener. He says he will do his best to pay back that money too. Skyler rips up his check. "I don't want you to pay ME, I want you to pay THEM!" She grabs his checkbook and tells him to try again. He's all, "Skyler! What happened to us?" Oh lord. These are the limits of Skyler's strong-arm tactics, it would seem. Cut to her in the car, defeated. She grabs her phone and calls Saul, which is never a good prospect.

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Breaking Bad

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