Breaking Bad
Live Free or Die

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B+ | 9 USERS: A+
Magnets, Yo

Reliably, the screen gets nice and amber so that we know we're going to Mexico. (Also the free-roaming chickens on a dirt road, is kind of a giveaway.) Feeding those chickens, in his pajamas, is Mike. Mike! Nearly forgot about you in all the hubbub of last year's finale. He's up and walking, so that gunshot wound appears to be healing nicely. He also appears to have named the chickens, and has taken particular -- if gruff -- interest in the welfare of "Wendell." Never leave us again, Mike. Mike gets the news from his caretaker: Gustavo is dead. Cut to Mike speeding across the desert to get back to the States. Halfway there, he sees another car, coming directly his way, and after an old-fashioned game of chicken, both cars skid out of each other's way. And of course it's Walt -- and Jesse! -- in the other car, because both sides have realized the same thing at the same time: they're fucked. Mike is taking the position that Walt fucked up and has no idea what he's gotten himself into, taking Gus out. In fact, he's so certain of his position that he pulls out his gun in hopes of ending Walt once and for all. But Jesse -- sweet Jesse, object of Mike's paternal affections -- stands in between his two mentors and begs Mike to listen to them. "What is it with you guys?" Mike asks, hopelessly. Meanwhile, Walt is smug as fuck with Mike, knowing Jesse won't let him get shot. Walt says they all have bigger fish to fry. Namely, the video feed. Mike says it led to a laptop in Gus's office at Pollos. Jesse underlines the point that if the cops get to it -- and in a moment, we see Hank and the DEA claim and tag said laptop, so yeah, they got it -- all three of them will go down. Mike is pained, physically and emotionally, and he holds out his hand. Walt doesn't know how to respond. "Keys, scumbag," Mike growls. "This is the universal symbol for throw me your keys." I see little cartoon hearts around Mike's head as the three men make their uncomfortable drive home.

Back at Jesse's house, Mike is on the phone posing as a cop, finagling the info that the laptop is indeed in evidence. He concludes that "we're boned" and thus heads out. "You know how they say it's been a pleasure? It hasn't." Walt's all, "Not so fast," and wants Mike to tell him exactly where the laptop is being held and what the building is like. Mike scoffs at Walt's hubris -- he thinks he's going to be able to break into this evidence locker and steal this thing? They've built these rooms like bank vaults, only with 24/7 police guard, for the expressed purpose of keeping degenerates like Walt from breaking in. Jesse asks Mike to give Walt a chance -- "He's good with this kind of thing." Besides, Walt says he's not thinking of getting the laptop out. After all, they just need to destroy what's ON it. Mike thinks he's talking about another bomb -- he already hit a nursing home, after all; what's a police station after that? While Walt and Mike argue over the semantics between a "small incendiary device" and a bomb, Jesse keeps trying to pipe in: "What about a magnet, yo?" He's the adorablest, I swear. Finally, on his third try, he hollers: "MAGNET, YO!" He follows that up by pantomiming a metal object being sucked into a magnet. I'm seriously so glad Jesse Pinkman is back in my life. (P.S. I basically only ask people for GIFs these days, but seriously, if you can make me a GIF if Jesse doing the magnet dance, I would be so grateful.) [Note: For y'all.]

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Breaking Bad




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