Lady Law takes it all in but does manage to stay on task. She asks if Walt's knowledge of the affair means he'll sign the papers. Skyler says Walt has entrenched himself, then sarcastically, self-pityingly congratulates herself for her brilliant tactical gambit. She then mentions the money Walt's keeping in the house. Lady Law's eyebrows about hit the ceiling. She asks if Skyler is asking her permission to spend this money. Skyler gets defensive, all "Hey, I'm just sayin' is all." Lady Law -- who at this point might just have to be my friend -- then says, "I'm half as qualified and twice the price of a therapist. There is nothing to discuss here, Skyler." Skyler says she's just saying, they have a history, he's the father of her children, and maybe he really did do this all for them. "Guess what?" my new best friend says, "That is one enormous load of horseshit." She spells it out even more explicitly: "You are a fool to stay in that house one minute longer ... You are now an accessory after the fact. You, your children, you could lose everything you own." Real talk. Skyler, tearfully, pleads, "I didn't marry a criminal." My non-romantic life partner doesn't budge: "Well, you're married to one now." What else can you really say about that? Except can we get this woman a name? I need to know who to address the flowers to.
Back home, Skyler wanders through an empty house. She peeks into Holly's room and sees all of Walter's things are gone. Inside the crib? Some signed divorce papers. Looks like that giant bag of money is going to be staying elsewhere.
Over to Saul's Strip Mall Lawmporium for the Main Event. Inside, Jesse waits for Walt to show up while Saul tries to get him to calm down and let him do all the talking. Jesse is sparking like a live wire, though. Saul's like, "Trust me, I've got your back" and asks if the parameters of Jesse's sobriety allow him to pop a Xanax and chill for a bit. He says he gets the Xanax from his 5-foot tall Asian "chiropractor." Using all appropriate air quotes, Saul says she "'adjusts you' to completion." Oh, Saul. Jesse, who may or may not have been listening to that at all, says he's outta here, but of course, that's just when Walt shows up. Saul stands up as Walt enters and is exceedingly formal/polite with the man who only last week tried to kick his ass. The men sit down, and Saul presents the "sweetheart" deal that Jesse is offering ("offering" seems a bit much considering how much Jesse is obviously not the one who wants this deal), where Walt would have to do fuckall and collect 10% of all Jesse's future earnings. "Consider it a gesture of respect for your valuable contributions to the business thus far." Saul is sure Walt will agree that's fair. Jesse turns and says it's "charity, is what it is. I do all the work and he sits around on his fat ass judging people." Saul again tries to stop Jesse from "escalating" while Walt glares silently at his former partner.