Breaking Pointe
Love or Ballet

Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: D | 31 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Divertissements and Delusions

Previously on Breaking Pointe: Everyone rent their garments over the Cinderella casting. Christiana was cast as the princess in cast B, but if Rex isn't healthy, she doesn't get to dance. Josh was sad not to get the role of Napoleon, which went to Zach, because Adam doesn't mind making the flamboyantly gay dancer the butt of the joke. C&C Dance Factory's marriage is under stress. And Allison's Dread Boyfriend Jonathan is a life ruiner.

Can we talk about how Rex and Ian were basically invented to be in the opening credits of this show? The black undershirts, the emo bangs, the vaguest stubble—it's perfect, all of it. Everyone else looks parachuted in from a milk commercial, but I swear if I was fifteen years old I'd probably have the two of them taped up in my locker. Mission accomplished, CW Borg.

We open in class, as ever. Rex and Allison are side-hugging companionably, which is nice to see if the very idea of them having a conversation doesn't send you into PTSD-induced retching like it does me. Adam calls class to order and in a talking head says there are three weeks till the show, but rather than focusing on their rehearsals like good little robots, some of the dancers are still sulking over their roles.

Cut to Sexy Rexy, reminding us that he has a wonky foot tendon that might keep him from being Christiana's prince. She is upset about this in an extremely calm way that says she will burn this motherfucking place down if she doesn't get to dance Cinderella. (And, um, don't read the Ballet West blog if you want to be surprised at the end of the season.) Zach is pleased with his coronation as emperor of the comical midgets. Allison is also delighted to end her career as Winter Fairy.

Rehearsal for the court couples, which is where Ian and Josh landed. Zach gloats some more about his role as the other two boys go through their motions with Malin. Josh is wearing awesome Spider-man pants, BTW, and Ian is back in those tiny, tiny shorts. While everyone else rehearses, Zach is asking some girl dancers what boobs are made of. Bags of sand, right? He thinks they're muscle rather than, you know, fat and milk duct, and when the girls set him straight, he barfs up the three zwieback crackers he's eaten this week. Josh observes all this with disdain for how Zach has stopped working hard since he got his role. What follows is a cut-together sequence of Zach being a distracting fool in class. Josh hopes Adam is watching, because Josh is a goody-goody after my own heart.

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Breaking Pointe

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