At Beneke, Skyler runs off photocopies in a daze. Why the copy machine seems to be in the kitchen is one of many enduring mysteries about the way Beneke does business, but it means that when Ted walks in to get some coffee, he and Skyler are alone together. Skyler walks up behind him, a look of grim determination on her face, and places a hand on his shoulder. She turns him around, and without saying anything, pulls him into a kiss. Because I don't think a whole lot of Ted, I don't feel too bad for him that he's being used this way. But used he is. Think of Ted as Skyler's equivalent of Tio's bell. She's mad as hell at Walt, and she's gonna ring the fuck of out of it until at least some of that anger subsides. Anyway, they manage to break their embrace before the other employees show up. When they get another moment alone, Skyler asks him if his kids are home. DING! DING! DING!

That night, Skyler returns home with a look on her face that might be regret. But by the time she walks in to see that Walt has been playing the happy homemaker while she's been out, that regret hardens into a mercenary anger. She sets Holly down by Flynn and his pal -- that's the one thing that skeezes me out, that Skyler brought Holly along to Ted's -- and goes into the kitchen to talk to Walt. He goes on for a bit about Flynn's pal Lewis, but Skyler's stone face says this isn't small-talk time. "I feel good about our talk this morning," he says. And by "our talk" he means "my monologue." He's eager to hear what Skyler has to say about it. You know, whenever she's ready. "Honesty is good," Walt says, as he mixed the salad. "Don't you think?" And if Walt's going to be that passive-aggressive about it, I don't feel a bit sorry for him when Skyler saunters up to him, pulls her face right close to his, and blows him out of the water: "I F*cked Ted," she hisses, dealing us our episode title and dealing the White marriage what she hopes is its death blow. DING! DING! DING! And then she takes the salad out to the dinner table. Now it's her turn to play the happy parent who's done something awful.

Joe R did not fuck Ted. He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.