Bridezillas
Angela & Shelayna

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Lauren S: B | Grade It Now!
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The Bridezilla Who Wasn't

The B-roll of truth is now played, and we see both of them looking stressed out and snappy while going over figures, and Mindy adopts her own drawl (because I'm not sure if you remember, but we're in Texas) to announce, "They're having trouble wraaaaaangling their budget." Aren't we all. More troubling, however, is that "then Shelayna had to lose her maid of honor, who may have been harboring a secret crush on Bart." Shelayna explains helpfully, "It's not that I want to say she was jealous, but she did make the comment, 'always a bridesmaid, never a bride.' And, you know, it was like maybe she was just jealous that I was, especially since, I had met my..." Thanks for that enlightening and grammatical explanation, Shelayna. I'm also glad to know that if one of my friends has the audacity to admit she's been in a lot of weddings without yet getting married herself, I should know it means she's making a play for my husband. That strangely drawn conclusion is as good a place as any to wrap up: "Once a soft-hearted, sweet-talking sugar plum," Shelayna is now "a salty, sassy, anything but classy briiiiiiiiiiiiiidezilla." After a psychotic freeze-frame of her face, there's a montage of her ordering Bart around and attacking an innocent dresser. She says that if something isn't how she wants it, she'll be unhappy, which leads into a montage of whining. Blah blah every-bride-cakes she wants things just right if she's spending all of this money on her wedding. I guess she still doesn't sound 'zilla enough, because Mindy has to prompt her to say that her biggest fear is of having a nervous breakdown. When Bart jokes that they'll be prepared for that with "pills and chocolate," she punches him again. Drink!

Flames segue into Angela and John, the attorney and the luxury car dealer. When they met, however, he was a bouncer and she was a "party girl" (John's words), which I find completely adorable. She tells the microwave engagement story again, which yes, is completely weird, but she looks so happy at the memory that who am I to judge? Their budget has "blown up" to "about 110 grand," but Angela doesn't look concerned about it, and I suspect a non-storyline. If they have 110 Gs to drop on a wedding, though, I'm not sure why they have such a cheesy painting of themselves up in their home. The narrator mentions the worry that the Greek and Filipino families might not get along, and John explains how Greeks tend to be wary of non-Greeks. Two drinks, you'll never hear this mentioned again. Somehow, the producers think that this a bridezilla makes, and "this once calm and collected legal eagle has become a hotheaded, short-tempered briiiiiiiidezilla." The montage of her being "bitchy" about her wedding and her mom's clothes has too much smiling to have me convinced. She tells us it's going to be "insane." Here's a hint -- if someone is self-aware enough to think that they are a bridezilla, they probably aren't.

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Bridezillas

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