Well, here we are again. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? There's a whole bunch of shows out there, yet we keep returning to this one. It tells us it can change, that things can get better, but they never do. It just seems that the bad times get even worse each time, but every time we start walking towards the door, remote in hand, we think of the really good times, when Bridezillas were just that, not truly horrible people who just happen to be getting married.

I just...I just wish it could be like it was. Or at least like I've heard it was, because I never really watched this show until I started recapping it.

You know what makes me actually understand when cartoon characters rip their hair out with their fists? This show's theme song. I know I've mentioned it before, but...I just...hate! I can't explain what it is, exactly. I think it's just the whole thing, the whole production. The synthetic horns don't help. The stupid "Hot, Hot, Hot" feeling of the number, either. I just can't believe that's what they chose. I'm sure they had a choice. It's like, who made Shakira a star? Probably the same person who chose the BZ theme. Hate.

Sorry. Yes, yes, the show. Got it. So, we're back with Calisse, recapping all the information they gave us last week. Mindy: "Calisse fancies herself a dainty princess." Really? "Dainty"? Not the first word I would use. After Calisse briefly describes her dress (an strapless ivory and gold "princess type of dress"), Mindy wastes no time jumping right into the dreaded Climb-up: "Will she wed with class, or will this diamond in the rough turn into a mean-spirited, over-achieving, out-of-control Briiiiiidezilla!" Mindy...God. I'm so tired of you. Just clip me with your best shot. "Don't be rude!" "It's my wedding, I get to spend money!" "Things don't ever go right in my world." "It's Calisse's day, and you need to get it together." "Hurry, hurry, hurry! Scurry, scurry, scurry!" "Are you listening to me?" Wow, what a bitch. Not. I mean, she can get kind of bad sometimes, but nothing like some of the other ones we've seen this season. Like, remember Regina? Now there was a 'Zill you could get nice and pissed about. Calisse? She just doesn't piss me off enough. I feel like a real Bridezilla should make you feel violent, you feel me?