Anyhow, it's wedding day at Casa de Torres. Rob: "I'm getting married in seven hours. I remember when it was seven months. Kind of nerve-racking." Yeah, sneaks up on ya, doesn't it? Mindy: "Rob is keeping a secret that may ruin the day!" Oh my God! Did he get burned by a stripper with Syphilis? Did he get too drunk and run naked through town? Has he fathered illegitimate children all throughout the southwest? What is it!?!? Get this, everybody: the TV is broken! There is no God! Wwwwwhhhhyyyyy?!?!?! I don't see how they can possibly get married without thinking of the TV the whole time. But, you know what? It's what the TV would have wanted. In fact, I was just speaking with the Zenith...God, it feels like just last week...
I'm sorry (well, not really), but how can this show spend so much time focusing on such a non-issue? The crew goes around getting everyone's opinion, following M'Zill as she scratches her head, trying to figure out what's wrong with the set (why does she have to be involved, anyhow?). This is so stupid. M'Zill: "There was ten Marines in the condo. Who knows what they were doing last night? I want to know who broke the TV that I paid for and gave to them." You mean, the one you paid fifteen bucks for on Craigslist?
So Chet, being the blabbermouth that she is, is now telling Kristina about the fucking broken TV, and how does she know, anyway? So, naturally, Kristina gets all pissed, and there's this big, long, drawn-out drama that I'm not going to dignify on these fine virtual pages by recapping. Just know, if you missed it, that it is petty and stupid and Rob should know by now not to marry this bitch and her goddamn mother. And yes, he's marrying them both, whether he knows that or not. Rob: "Is this a big deal, Victor?" Victor: "No, man." Wait, why is Victor at Rob's house? Whatever.
So, over at Kristina's place, she and her sisters are trying to fix her dress because she never got it altered. Hilarity ensues, because they actually resort to using staples. Not even kidding, over here. I'm talking of the Swingline variety. So, Kristina, being herself, gets all mad at everyone, including Chet, for taking so long and doing it wrong. Well, dude, this is why most people opt for actual professionals when it comes to these things. This isn't an arts 'n' crafts project, you twit. Chet: "Kristina, stop moving!" Kristina: "Well, maybe if you do it right it wouldn't be a problem!" Oh, Jeebus. Kristina kicks her sisters out and tries to do it herself, which is hilarious to watch because she's such an idiot. She can't do it, so she asks for help. Chet: "Say you're sorry and mean it." Ugh. Dude, I'm getting tired of this bitch. Her hair looks nice, though!