Either way, it's now two days before this god-awful event, and Regina's behind the wheel, yet again. She's also on the phone, which is totally illegal in New York without using a hands-free device, and she's bitching someone out. "As you can tell, I'm calling you two days before my wedding. Do you understand what I'm telling you?! I mean, it's not like I'm the bitch from hell, 'cuz I'm not, but I'm trying to put together a, um, you know, dream wedding in a week!" Wait, you're not the bitch from hell? Had me fooled. Anyway, her phone rings again, and it's Eric, the wedding singer. All frantic, she's all, "Ha ha! You have to identify yourself when you call me because I don't who the fuck you are, goddammit!" Well, she doesn't cuss, but that's basically the gist of it. It seems that Eric has called to confess that he doesn't know a word of Spanish, even though, for some reason, Regina has hired him to sing a specific song...in Spanish. A-duh. The song he has to learn is Via Dolorosa, which is such a bizarre choice of song, because it has nothing to do with weddings or romance or anything. I guess Regina's hyper-Catholic, which would explain a lot. But, for about three minutes of show time, we see Regina and her sister, Monica, arguing over the lyrics while Regina's on the phone with Eric and driving at the same time. Um, Regina? How hard is it to tell someone to fucking Google something? Figure it out, then get a Bluetooth headset, because if ever see you on the road and you're talking on your phone, I'm going to ram into you just to blame the whole thing on you, and get some of my tax dollars back from your freeloading ass. Regina is so frantic in this scene that her voice rises to the most irritating pitch in the world, hitting the formant frequency of my brain and causing an instant headache. Bitch. But you know what? It's time to move on...
Episode Report CardMr. Stupidhead: C+ | 1494 USERS: C+
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