Regina & LyDee

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: C | Grade It Now!
She's Not Heavy, She's Regina

Coming up, LyDee is exhausted, and Regina? Still crazy. Whoop dee doo.

Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Hot Pocket Biscuits look like they're filled with barf and pubes. Gross.

Okay, from now on, I will not justify the existence of Factzillas by commenting on them. Hate. ["Good, because that saves me having to bitch any more about the non-proofreading happening there." -- Sars]

The day before Regina's nuptials, everyone is running around all crazed, and Regina is getting set for her first night at Oheka Castle. The bride-to-be is getting pissy with her sister, Monica, already. "You better be leaving right now, 'cuz we're leaving, too." On the way to the castle, Regina has to pick up her veil, her dress, and go to pay the florist. Domingos just lurks around, carrying Regina's fucking toy dog that I hate with my entire soul because it has pigtails. Regina continues to lose her shit over the apparent disappearance of her sister, who is totally unreachable by phone, and I can't blame her. "This is totally unbelievable. Where is she?" She calls her: "Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up, Monica!" She emphasizes the "p" sound each time she says "up," and my blood boils. Finally, they meet up with Monica, and Regina continues to rip into her and bitch about everything else on God's green earth. What's worse is that she rips off her scrunchy (which, what the fuck?) and starts slathering her entire head with styling mousse, a procedure that is deeply unsettling simply for the sheer amount that she uses. She then reminds Domingos that his "job is to drive." Again, way to be a condescending cockmaster. She then tells her sister to move over from where she is sitting because she might wrinkle a suit she's next to. Jesus Christ on a stick. I can't believe her. How did her sister end up so cool? Are they really from the same family? I just don't get it.

They finally get to the seamstress to pick up Regina's veil, but since it's about as long as Route 1, they are going to have trouble fitting it into the car. Naturally, Regina calls a friend to come take care of it for her, because God forbid she should have any foresight whatsoever regarding matters of this type. Monica: "I'm worried not because if her dress is huge, what are we going to do then?" Word up, little sis. Regina: "I should have rented a truck." You should have rented a clue, dick-wizard.

Back to LyDee, who's prepping for her second rehearsal, this time with a dinner attached, presumably. LyDee is stressed and tired, after having only three hours of sleep. The wedding is tomorrow, and she still has a ton of shit to take care of. Things only get worse when she gets there, and still has a bunch of no-shows. I'm sorry, but I'd flip my shit, too. But she plows ahead anyway, and once again, people are acting like idiots, not listening or focusing at all. Of course, LyDee gets annoyed, especially when her sister starts a nothing fight over the stupid walks. Poor LyDee. She's doing her best to keep her cool, but it's difficult when trying to wrangle the Attention Deficit Theatre that is her wedding party. Finally, they all call it quits and go to dinner.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP