Back to Regina, who's passed out in the back of the car with Monica. They arrive for the final fitting of the wedding dress, and I have to say, why the strapless dress? It doesn't work on you, Regina. Nor the goddamn tiara, you self-centered hog. Wipe that smile off your head. When she's satisfied that her huge dress is everything she wanted and more, she shoves Monica into the back of the car with it, and sends her and Domingos on their way. God, what a jerk.
Then it's off to the florist, where Regina shells out $6,000.00 for her arrangements. Whoa. That's a lot of 'scarole. I don't really even know how to respond to that. Six thousand bucks for something that's going to last a week? Now, call me a pragmatist, but I think that's just plain ridiculous. I mean, I understand she's getting married in New York, and that she has to have a "Fairy Tale" wedding, but fuck that. Her big ugly head is as dumb as a butt. And can she please not bring that dog everywhere she goes? "Someone's gonna have to show me how to hold this bouquet tomorrow." Like, you just hold it, nimrod. Anyway, she pays in cash, and...what the hell? Cash? I guess her daddy is in the Portuguese Mafia. Either that, or she just cashed her disability check. Ugh. They're off to the castle. Narrator: "Tomorrow's blushing bride is tonight's bulldozing Bridezilla." Word.
Coming up, LyDee's "bridesmaids are flaking, her groom is drinking, and LyDee is about to go bridal." Whatever that's supposed to mean, aside from actually getting married. Man, I hate this show.
So, "the best day of LyDee's life has arrived," and she and her BMs are all hanging out. LyDee's a little upset at how the rehearsals and dinner went, and she's exhausted. "I don't feel like people came through for me." Then she starts to cry, and I can't blame her. Her friends really messed up. It's the one day in her life where she really needs her friends to be there and help out, and it seems like they've been flaking the entire way. "I'm going on my honeymoon and all I want to do is sleep. It's supposed to be fun." Man, I just feel bad for her. Poor girl. She seems doubtful that the whole event will come together.
The narrator reminds us that LyDee "has a lot to get done before tonight's nuptials." First, she's gotta get to the hair salon, where LyDee says she thinks she's "aged about twenty years" since she began planning the wedding. After she and her BMs are coiffed, they head to the hotel room they're using to get ready. When they're situated, she grills one of the bridesmaids about where she was the previous night for the rehearsal. "You didn't even call me!" "I wasn't supposed to call you. You were supposed to know when it was and show up." For real. Nice. Bridesmaid. Not! Then we find out that another bridesmaid forgot to bring the garter, which is another pain in the ass, especially because the girl who forgot it is all crying and hyper. Yeesh. LyDee is totally unsympathetic, which I think is great. "Go and dry your eyes in the bathroom or whatever." Hee! So, three of her bridesmaids go to find another garter, leaving just LyDee and her sister Christy in the room. Christy bitches about how nobody appreciates what she's been doing all day, "driving all these people around." Then she bails, which is so weak, I can't even explain how pissed it makes me feel. Dude, it's your sister, and she's losing it! How can you just take off like that? You suck. LyDee: "The photographer's not here. The make-up artist is not here. The DJ's not here." Man. What a sad sack. That must have felt like such a nightmare. Like when you have anxiety dreams where everything's going wrong, you forget your lines, your teeth fall out...that's what she must feel like. That sucks. Then she goes to the banquet room, where her dad and a few other people are just milling around, not setting things up. LyDee: "Y'all didn't have anything to do last night!" If that's true...what's with these people? Help this poor girl! It's no wonder she's going nuts!