Bridezillas

Episode Report Card
Lauren S: C | 1085 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Nothing Says Marriage Like A White Pimp Hat

Ladessia is apparently taking Norman to see the bridesmaid dresses since he hasn't seen them yet. I'm unclear on why this matters at all, but let's just go with it. Mindy tries to make it sound like a planned outing, but he seems awfully surprised when Ladessia tries to take him away from watching football. There is no purpose to this jaunt other than to drive him nuts, and I can't tell if it was her idea or the show's idea, but either way? Dumb. I'd rather watch football than go to a store to see dresses that have already been bought and which I will be seeing in a week anyway. The decorating in their living room is absolutely pimptastic. Black leather couch, giant wall hanging on some sort of fabric of a white tiger. Norman is dressed in something to match the décor -- a basketball jersey that's been blurred out, that's white with black and grey writing. She tells him this is his only chance to have an opinion about them, but: aren't they already purchased? Bridezillas is beating me. That's not right.

Oh my god, woman, just show him the dress! She takes him through a tour of the shopping process, first showing what they almost bought. This is absolutely ridiculous. He decides to start complaining about what they've chosen even though they're actually quite nice, empire-waisted lavender dresses with some detail on the bodice. (Oh wait, now that I've watched the whole thing again, it's totally not what they chose at all -- the girls are wearing two different dresses. My aching head... ) Even more confusing than the purpose of this mind-blowing outing, though, is the blurring on his jersey. It's blurred, it's not, the front is, then the back and not the front, and then the reflection in the mirror is crystal clear. And why does a Dallas 972 jersey matter anyway? Oh crap, I forgot my own Magic Rule for this show -- Don't Ask. They argue; he thinks she's being fussy, she thinks he shouldn't have a say. Which... defeats the entire purpose of this heinous outing.

Shelayna and Bart have ended up at a western store, Wild Bill's, for no apparent reason other than to give Bart some new items to balance on his chin. Mindy says, "It's hard to tell if Shelayna is shopping or babysitting." I say it's hard to tell what she could possibly be shopping for in this store that would have anything to do with the wedding, but I guess this just gives her more chances to get annoyed on-camera. There's some slo-mo, bad-news music when Bart starts flirting with a salesgirl. It seems totally in character to me that he'd start chatting with anyone that would listen like a really friendly five-year-old in his mom's shopping cart, but this way Shelayna can be mad for the cameras again. And shockingly, the salesgirl is giggling girlishly at every joke Bart delivers. I shudder to think that this shtick is really working. They leave the store and Mindy says, "For their next activity, Shelayna wisely decides on an activity that's romantic enough for her, but kid-friendly enough for Bart." Oh boy, that must mean it's time for... caricatures! Nothing says romance like a kooky drawing of yourself with a ginormous head. They splurge on "the works," and I must say it's a pretty accurate depiction of the two, including lots of black eyeliner for the missus. Afterward, she happily says it's the best one they've had done yet. Wait, so this is a regular activity for them? My life is so different from theirs. On the way out, they pause at the counter of some blurred-out store for Shelayna to say yet again how stressed she is and how she won't be happy if things aren't right. We know already.

Bridezillas

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