Shelayna & Ladessia

Episode Report Card
Lauren S: C- | Grade It Now!
Nothing Says Marriage Like A White Pimp Hat

The thing that drives me crazy about the music cue is that it's always exactly the same. I'm sure they could sometimes start it later in the catchy tune, or find an equally horrid and cheap twangy clip to use that wouldn't cost them anything. Besides, look at all the money they've already saved by showing the same things over and over again!

Clearly not at work, Bart's at the castle to meet with Tracy the Useless Wedding Coordinator. He shows up in a tee that says, "I do all my own stunts," and after laughing, Shelayna gets her briiiidezilla face on and makes him change into a sweater. The best thing about this staged drama is that they arrived together, and presumably she noticed sometime during their four-hour drive that he was wearing said t-shirt, but it gives us such a riveting television moment this way. I'm already siding with Bart about Tracy, because when we meet her, she turns out to have an ultimate bitchface. Shelayna's sitting opposite her at a table in a chair that's not high enough, so she looks like a five-year-old trying to peer over the edge. Tracy takes Shelayna through the list of charges, and these are just ridiculous, including paying extra for cleaning and security. Shouldn't those things be included already? Shelayna is just writing the check, laughing at or ignoring Bart's protests. He asks about each item, and Tracy has an answer (and a smirk) for everything. Shelayna just writes out the check, and Bart goes and wanders around. He comes back in to complain, but Tracy just wears her self-satisfied smile as he talks. He gives up, since the contract is signed, but gripes about the highway robbery. Afterward, he resorts to what he knows and makes a bunch of jokes to get Shelayna back on his good side. In the truck, she complains about him being mean and tells him the show should be "Groomzilla." Or I guess you could call it "I don't care where my money goes-zilla."

Ladessia is apparently taking Norman to see the bridesmaid dresses since he hasn't seen them yet. I'm unclear on why this matters at all, but let's just go with it. Mindy tries to make it sound like a planned outing, but he seems awfully surprised when Ladessia tries to take him away from watching football. There is no purpose to this jaunt other than to drive him nuts, and I can't tell if it was her idea or the show's idea, but either way? Dumb. I'd rather watch football than go to a store to see dresses that have already been bought and which I will be seeing in a week anyway. The decorating in their living room is absolutely pimptastic. Black leather couch, giant wall hanging on some sort of fabric of a white tiger. Norman is dressed in something to match the décor -- a basketball jersey that's been blurred out, that's white with black and grey writing. She tells him this is his only chance to have an opinion about them, but: aren't they already purchased? Bridezillas is beating me. That's not right.

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