Shelayna & Ladessia

Episode Report Card
Lauren S: C- | Grade It Now!
Nothing Says Marriage Like A White Pimp Hat

Two days before the wedding, Ladessia and her crew are off to see the wedding venue. There's a cheesy little guy running the place whose main concern just seems to be getting paid -- he laughs about it, but it's totally a joke-that's-not-a-joke. Then again, his business is called Adorable Weddings. I don't ever want to knock someone's wedding choices since they're personal, but I can knock him for being skeezy and putting "adorable" in the name of his company. Ladessia says it's to show them around, but it seems more like this is almost the rehearsal as she walks them through how everything will go. Gather here, walk here, cake set up here. Norman tells the minister she's a bridezilla for changing her mind all the time, and so the minister thinks he can calm her down by teaching her how to dance a rumba. Hey, why not? The group seems to be having a good time dancing around, and then she tells them to practice the same steps for when they join on the dance floor after the ceremony. Afterward, the creep gets right back to asking about the money. It's always classy to ask for "the cash" when it's time for payment.

Shelayna's out doing errands, including getting a new set of nails since she chewed the old ones off. She seems wound up pretty tight and is appalled that Bart asked her what she was making for dinner. The menu is going to be a big plate of nothing. She wants him to cook and do his laundry, but I say, if you've been doing that all for him for the last three years, which I'd guess you have, it's too late, my dear. He's used to it now. She's doing wedding stuff, and when she goes to find him, he's in bed. She yells at him to get up and help. He sleepily makes it downstairs but doesn't last long before declaring he's going back to bed. She tells the camera she's so tired, she doesn't want to put on makeup in the morning -- and since she's saying this with a clean face and looking great, I want to tell her that's fine, to step away from the eyeliner.

It's Ladessia's wedding day, and she's back to black curls and no bald spot. Her hair looks nice, and every bridesmaid I see has an up-do. A single one, even. Ladessia's late and in some traffic, when she says that it's okay since it's her day and everyone can wait on her, I think it's used more as a defense than as a bridezilla move. She seems pretty stressed out. Once she arrives, her dress isn't there. Where is it and who has it, if not her or one of her 'maids? That just wasn't a good idea. One of her daughters tells her, "Mama, don't cry." The dress arrives and they get her into it, and while we're waiting, I need to take a moment to comment on the one thing Ladessia didn't address in her bridesmaid meeting. That would be the tattoos. I know why she didn't say anything -- she's got one herself, right on her chest, showing out of her dress. There are others peeking out of lavender bodices, one that shows nicely on someone's back through the lace-up dress -- they are all over. I feel like for someone who didn't even want glitter nail polish or more than one ring on each hand, she might have asked for some makeup over the tats. Well, it makes for an interesting fashion statement not usually seen in a fairy-tale wedding. It adds character, that's for sure. Oh, and I'd also like to note that all the ladies look properly supported. She talks about how everything's okay, that she's fine with the little things that have gone wrong, but is really just covering up some spectacular nerves. When she realizes that she left the marriage license at home, she loses it, crying and panicking. Her daughter comes and hugs her as her friend wipes her tears. They assure her the license can be taken care of the next day, but she can't seem to forgive herself for a little while.

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