Shelayna & Milena

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Is That A Beer In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Shelayna is just getting home from... you thought I was going to say the bachelorette party, didn't you? Nope, from her bridal portraits. The editing on this show is going to give me seizures. She enlists Bart to help her unpack the car, which includes pulling out a globe. I can't possibly guess either. She seems to have enough clothes in there for a month. As she walks inside she hopes that he picked up the house, but shockingly, he didn't. He knows how to divert her attention quickly, though, when he takes off his hat to show off his new haircut. She's not wrong when she tells him he looks like Lloyd in Dumb and Dumber. Although she's clearly serious when she tells him he's going to someone else to get it fixed, she's also got a genuine smile on her face and looks like she's going to burst out laughing as she tells him he's an idiot. The producers are trying hard, but it's still obvious that these two know each other and all of their personality traits and still love each other. He later wants some dinner and she tells him he'll have to go to the store, and on the way there Mindy lets us know he's going to "vent." He says it doesn't matter if he gets anything done since either way, she just wants it done her own way. He predicts that you won't want to get near her at the rehearsal and does actually say she'll be a bitch. (Bleeped, natch.) You know what all of this says to me? That this behavior is a pattern for both of them since the day they met, and not at all just a result of wedding planning.

While he wants to eat dinner, she's now adorned in a Luckenbach shirt (so was the party and the picture-taking in the same weekend? I'm so confused.) and doing wedding chores. Specifically, she's mailing her bridesmaids their gowns. At this point, I think we're supposed to be a week or so away from the wedding, so I pray that nothing goes awry with the postal service in that time. Bart, ever the mature individual, decides to try one on. She's yelling at him and asks him, "Do you want to be a girl and wear a dress?" In response, with the dress only up to just above his knees, he drawls, "Feeeeels good, mom." That's a little creepy. She's clearly not that mad with him since she's smiling, and he notes that it won't fit over his behind. "And if it won't go over my butt, them women's got some broad asses. We're gonna have some hell, I guarantee you." And after seeing that on television last night, they're all coming after you, Bart. Be careful you're not pelted with giant slippers.

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