Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
Magic Happens

Episode Report Card
Stee: F | Grade It Now!
The Worst Fountain In Europe

K-FedNow! offers some sterling commentary, saying that he wasn't scared because he didn't think the border patrol could really do anything, but it was funny how scared she was. Maybe the reason K-Fed was so sanguine is because of all the black tar hash he had to shove up his ass the minute they got pulled over. BritBrit drawls, "There's a daaaawg. He going to come on my bus." That's gross. We see night vision shots of the border patrol looking at papers and passports as BritBrit wonders why they have to wear "Army hats." Then she feels sorry for the poor peasant border patrol working stiffs of France, because they have to wear the same uniform every night and at least she gets to dress in tight outfits and "change them up a little." Yes, I'm sure the lack of multiple costume changes is exactly what makes European border patrol guards dislike their jobs. BritBrit claps as the bus starts up again finally. K-Fed decides to go up and ask the bus driver what that was all about. The bus driver says that they don't usually do that, have the dogs sniff their luggage and stuff. Poor bus driver. Almost went to jail because of K-Fed's crank habit. That would surely make him someone's bitch in prison. Or, how do you say "bitch" in French? Oh, right. "Beech."

More night vision. Using shots we've seen previously -- time-line be dammed! -- BritBrit asks K-Fed is he thinks of her when she's onstage. Uh, isn't he usually watching her? What else is he going to think about? That would be some serious multi-tasking for K-Fed's pea-brain. He says, "You have no idea." Gross. He says he thinks it's cute when she wears his hat on stage. It's like she takes a little piece of him up there with her. She smiles cutely and says that she always takes a piece of him up there with her, even if she isn't wearing his hat. Which is just...VOMIT! The shot of BritBrit is just shoulder and head and her arms are moving around so much it really looks as if she's jerking him off below screen, which, given white trash's penchant for getting handjobs on busses, I wouldn't be surprised.

Ahhhh! Oh, it's just Fee. Hi, Fee. She babbles about how they had lots of plane and bus trips on the tour to get to know each other without any "obstacles." Yeah, like taste or class or fear of germs.

Now BritBrit shoots K-Fed and in the night vision he seriously looks more serpentine than ever. Beady, dark, evil, dead eyes, the likes of which we haven't seen since the Pepsi Girl was forced to make way for the Good Witch to her Bad that is Dakota Fanning. K-Fed babbles about how right now BritBrit is "ass naked" behind the camera. "You're cute," she lies. Then K-Fed talks about how "the boys" are all asleep on the bunks and she's naked. She says she doesn't care. Neither do we.

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Britney and Kevin: Chaotic




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