Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
Magic Happens

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The Worst Fountain In Europe

More bus. Ah! Fee. BritBrit emerges from the bathroom to get some coffee and she's looking all fucked-up with sex hair and K-Fed asks, "Did you have fun about five minutes ago?" And, just, barf! She gives him a look. Love has never been more grody. (That should be the tagline of this show.)

Paris. Shots of Paris. Paris. Paris. The usual. Accordion music. Awesome hotel room. BritBrit looks all happy and she says they're going to see the "Aye-full Taar," and then laughs at her own hickness. They go upstairs and check out the bedroom. K-Fed films in the giant mirror over the bed and he talks about how you can watch yourself and then he makes humping noises and motions and he does that hysterical hand in the air in front of you with your palm facing down thing, like you're raising the roof, but downwards, which is really the trademark hand gesture of wiggers everywhere. It's their Black Power Fist. BritBrit hugs him from behind and tells him not to do that. "Yeah!" says K-Fed. She laughs for some reason.

They drive. They pass a giant park fountain and she makes them stop and Tony films as they run and put a penny in the fountain to make a wish. BritBrit camera-talks about how she has a "fascination" with fountains, and she won't say what the wish is but it "came true." So your wish was to get fat, pregnant, pick up fecal parasites by going into foreign bathrooms barefoot, marry a deadbeat pussy-beard with two children and no prospects whatsoever, and then watch yourself quickly turn into a joke and see your first shot at television go horribly awry? Then sister, you got your wish. And also, that fountain is magic! ["We beseech you, dear readers who may live near said fountain, to take your ass down there with a sack of francs and put a stop to this madness." -- Sars]

Now we get a Montage of Fun as BritBrit picks some weeds on the side of the road, thinking they're flowers. Boobney camera-talks about falling in love and it was out of their control. They bob their heads to music in the car. K-Fed actually throws signs and wears his hat all down over his eyes and tipped to the side, without any irony whatsoever. How can you love that sort of a person? Seriously, he must have a bionic tongue. Something must explain this. I don't understand. K-FedNow! tools on about how she's everything he could hope for in a woman -- and he lists all the adjectives he learned in skool, which is about five. Boobney says it was instant and she found her "soul mate." More gross kissing. Spew!

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Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

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