Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
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Lifestyles of the Brit And Anus

Some Pink song as BritBrit gets made-up. She decides to film him taking a shower. "That's not funny at all!" he says. "Payback is a bitch," she continues. More hair and filming in the mirror. She sings that she likes Pink. "God, our sex is really good," she tells gay Asian make-up guy. Poor guy. BritBrit keeps repeating, "Ecstasy." She then announces that she's had sex three times today and she laughs really open-mouthed. She should really close her mouth because, to paraphrase from Deadwood, she has seven kinds of cock breath. Then she says that K-Fed just got here the day before yesterday, totally screwing up not only the timeline but also their claim that they didn't really know each other before he came out to London. Or they were lying. Or she's just a big ol' slutmonster. She says she's nervous that he's going to watch her show tonight. They have clearly just completely run out of footage because they have her babbling and listening to music for another two minutes, until finally…

Show. Backstage. Random shots as BritBrit voice-overs how anything she's ever wanted, she's just worked hard for and made it happen. She really needs a writer, because she then says something that makes no sense about not knowing if Kevin was "the one" and how she thinks she was "scared." To what? To fly a deadbeat with two kids and no career out to London for some fucking? What could be scary about that? And as BritBrit arrives out onstage for her version of Puttin' On The Hits, we fade to black. And that's how they chose to end it. Really? Did they run out of time?

End credits. Oh, good. Scenes!

More gross kissing. Regurgitate! More night vision. Pointless babble between the two. BritBrit claims she's never really liked anybody before. So now clearly they hired some Story Editors for episode two because it seems they're going to try to craft some drama out of tension between bodyguard Mo and K-Fed. Mo talks again about how he didn't like Cletus and tension and then Mo has K-Fed down on the ground and BritBrit is trying to stop what is clearly just roughhousing, but at least they're trying. And that's it!

Oh, BritBrit's production company seems to be called Fairy Zone. Hurl!

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Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

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