Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

Episode Report Card
Stee: F | 1177 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
Blah, Smoking, Performing, Drunk, "Love?", Boxing, K-Fed Is Dirty

Now we get footage of BritBrit training with boxing gloves and talking about her aggression. Boobney makes a mental leap worthy of Stephen Hawking during a meteor shower as she says that she thinks all the aggression and "rampage" came from the fact that she was scared of falling in love with K-Fed. She should be. More sparring. She hugs Mo.

Cirque Du So Gay. She "sings," dropping butt stank on some swing. It must be nice to be on tour when you don't actually sing any words. Then your warm-up routine can be cigarettes, a DVD of Charlie Angels 2, and a bottle of shiraz. It goes on and on, this song. Goddamn, if I wanted to watch her stupid concert, I would have gone to the Staples Center parking lot and robbed a twelve-year-old girl for her ticket. Finally it ends. Thank you.

"Love is a cool thing but it's something that you work on," BritBrit opines, smoking, sitting in a hotel room, maybe. God. Now we're going to get a terminally long douche-y scene of BritBrit and K-Fed, high on PCP and cooter medicine, discussing love like the mental castaways they are. K-Fed says that nothing worth having is ever easy. BritBrit wonders why she can't "let go." K-Fed thinks she's scared to love him and that in turn makes him scared to love her. Did they just say that? Shot of a blood-red sky. The sun going down. Dramatic music. Ha.

Ah! Commercials! My only friend. I LOVE YOU!

K-Fed: "Hey, Brit. This Honeymooners movie is going to be straight funny, yo! Damn, the dog is wearing glasses! Aw, shit! That's cold. Hey, I think I'm going to buy a pit bull puppy from the mall today and put sunglasses on it. Naw, baby, it ain't true. That's fallacy. Pit bulls love babies. They good babysitters, too. Now go get me a Snapple and a handful of Flintstones chiz-newables. And if I don't see any Barneys up in there I'm gonna be hella pissed, yo!"

Back. Vienna, Austria. Shot of Vienna. Car. BritBrit films. She asks Tony if his wife wanted to "be with" Brad Pitt for a night and he could be with Halle Berry, would he let her? Tony laughs because he is paid to. Yikes! Is that Fee?! Oh, no, it's just an unfortunate close-up of BritBrit's skin. Man, she really needs to get a looooong lens on that camera. It would incidentally also be useful for shots of Fee. Tony doesn't play along with the game and BritBrit gets mad and starts yelling that boys lie and she goes on to say that she brought it up because she "likes to mani-poo-late y'all!"

Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

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