Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
Scared To Love You

Episode Report Card
Stee: F | 3 USERS: A+
Blah, Smoking, Performing, Drunk, "Love?", Boxing, K-Fed Is Dirty

Lots of shots of backstage. BritBrit gets make-up put on, singing into the camera, the Vicodin kicking in nicely. BritBrit babbles about being a grownup now and she doesn't like people judging her behavior. Wah wah wah! Quit and leave us alone and we won't judge you, ya stupid crater-faced cockslap. (Wow. Was that mean?) Boobney tries to explain to us that she was "the young American sweetheart" and when she made the "transition" (into drugs and douche-y men, I presume), parents or adults didn't always like it. Make-up BritBrit bitches that she has more of a fun life than people think and she loves being carefree, while Boobney tells us that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that's what makes America great. She's really like a whorey Teddy Ruxpin doll that just spits out these words and phrases she's heard somewhere before while she creepily moves her eyes around, not connecting to anything. And giving children nightmares.

Cirque Du So Gay. Lots of quick shots. All of them bad.

Street. A violin player. Hotel room. Robe-wearing BritBrit scarfs food, lining her uterus for the impending implantation of baby Cheetus. BritBrit bitches to the camera that last time they went out, K-Fed got mad because BritBrit partied too much and he in turn started being a "control freak" and didn't want her to party so much.

Now we get the proud parents-to-be together, trying to explain. BritBrit says that she was scared and that's why she was acting out, as K-Fed says it happened more than once. Yikes. K-Fed says that he had to protect himself.

Between shoveling bites of food down, BritBrit says that she's going to look stupid. K-Fed then grabs the camera and walks out of the room, shooting the camera straight up into his misshapen nostrils, and talks; the whole time BritBrit is calling from the other room, trying to order him back in. He's whispering to the camera, wondering what we would do.

Ahhhh! Fee! She tells us that BritBrit is strong-willed and she felt for K-Fed at that time.

BritBrit comes to find K-Fed and he tells her that he's "selling his soul to the devil." Well, you'll be in good company because clearly BritBrit did that years ago. How else could you explain her career? K-Fed says that he has to film without her. "Dude, I'm far from perfect," he tells her. BritBrit gets mad and then suddenly Boobney and K-FedNow! are back telling us that they then had a terrible fight off-camera and he packed his bags and he was going to leave. "Bye," is all he said and BritBrit got sad and...well, they actually don't finish the story. Literally. They just go to slo-mo and then credits.

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Britney and Kevin: Chaotic




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