So a BritBrit song is playing and there's a couple shots we've seen from the balcony in the first episode and then we cut back to K-Fed. Already? What are we supposed to be looking at? K-Fed says, "I wanted to put this together just to kinda show you, baby, how much " And then he stops and starts tearing up. Aw! He's so sad that he can't sing or draw or do anything, and that it would come down to something very confusing like a slighty re-edited version of their own show as all he could "do" for her. He's sad he has no skills. He continues, whispering now, " How much I care. I love you more than life. And I'd do anything for you." But what is it?! This is like the Mystery Spot or one of those weird roadside attractions that don't make any sense. I'm not sure what I'm looking at. Now a crap-ass R&B song is playing and more shots we've seen. Photos of them on a beach. BritBrit smiling. Night vision. Gross kissing. Beach. BritBrit wearing silly clothes and jumping around. More BritBrit jumping around and dancing sexy. K-Fed says she's his "angel" and is everything he's ever wanted. "Her soul is caring." Boy, you talk good. BritBrit runs around and brings him a weed bouquet and wears a hat and smiles and eats and says she has a lot of questions "for life" and laughs and gets make-up put on and smokes and hangs with her band at practice and smiles and K-Fed says she's a giving person and "puts a happy light on everything" and slides on the table and she knows how to make people happy and she dances and K-Fed says he shares Britney with all of us. No thanks, man. You can have her. Now the music slows down and BritBrit is talking -- I'm so lost! Where does his "video moment-tow" stop and the show start? It's like an Escher painting.
BritBrit says her thing about how she thinks they're fun and cool as a couple. Wrong. Wedding shots. K-Fed can't see himself with anyone else well, this week. He says he loves her more than "anything." More than your two kids? More wedding shots. "Baby, I love you," he says, making an embarrassed smile. And then a shot of her kissing the camera. And then, it's over!
So. What did we learn these past five weeks? I guess, mostly that even UPN has their limits. Well, bye! It's been VOMIT!