Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
Who Said Anything About Love

Episode Report Card
Stee: C- | Grade It Now!
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Alive…Unfortunately

Boobney tells us she doesn't know why people on planes laugh and joke around and it just makes her more scared. BritBrit looks around and then they figure out they're over water and Fee jokes that at least they can "swim." Boobney tells us Fee likes to tease her the most. Fee winks at Tony's camera. BritBrit threatens Fee that she's going to break her wrists. Harsh. They put in the stupidest night vision-tinted computer graphic of a small plane landing. Seriously? You guys over there have a computer animation budget you don't cut, so you're just using it for no reason now. They land and BritBrit chants, "We can breathe. We can breathe. We landed on the ground." She tells everyone who just watched her freak out like a five-year-old that she hates to "flayyyyy," in case they weren't paying attention. BritBrit starts singing a song about waiting for their luggage. K-Fed laughs. High.

Amsterdam. Ah, yeah! I'm saying that for the weed, not for the performance we get to witness of BritBrit faux-humping one of her gayest dancers with checkerboard hair on a giant bed. Shot of Amsterdam. "Lesbian show" sign. Other whore windows. BritBrit camera-talks that they're in Amsterdam and then she points the camera and she and K-Fed make out all "sensually," with liquidy sounds and little noises from her and then he makes a noise and it's really one of the most disturbing things I've seen since Large Marge freaked me out when I was ten and I dropped my popcorn. This time I also drop my popcorn, but I drop it from out of my mouth because VOMIT!

Shot of the moon. Hotel room. BritBrit "sings" "Vogue" as she packs her clothes. K-FedNow camera-talks about how at the time when they were shooting they were hiding behind the camera to get to know each other. That makes no sense. K-Fed asks, "How do you feel?" She says she feels great and when he asks why, she says because the sex is great. Now K-Fed's three brain cells start clanging together making banjo music and he suddenly wonders if maybe girls just like him because, since he's been practicing on his sister since he was seven, he happens to be pretty good in bed. So he asks her, "What else is great?" And she walks away, trying to avoid him. Boobney then tells something very revealing, that she's not comfortable being intimate one-on-one so she needed the camera there to help her. She puts on make-up and all she can come up with to say is that the "kisses" are really good…and then she adds again that the sex is really good. K-Fed, you're a human dildo. And that's okay! There are worse things to be. Like, you could be a pussy-faced no-talent with a future filled with one giant, endless nightmare of child support payments and regret. Wait, maybe I'm being harsh, y'all. Maybe BritBrit and K-Fed are the next Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.

Paul Newman just rolled over in his grave.

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Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

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