Let's just be clear: Kitty is not dead. But, boy, is she in trouble once The Senator and Nora find out that she hid her really bad test results. Luckily all her problems will be solved with one measly little bone marrow transplant. Now if one of her myriad siblings will cough up a match. Betcha dollars to Voodoo Doughnuts, that doncha know only Ryan Lafferty will be able to offer up his (greasy) little bone marrow sample.
Yes, Jay-zuz, Ryan Lafferty is back. He may have showered. He may have not showered. Either way he's bus-TED. Holly's crack team of investigators has seen the tape of the night of the fateful wine valve incident and only fair little Ryan was in or out of Ojai the entire evening. It's circumstantial, but it'll do. Inexplicably, Holly offers Ryan a pass for dumping the entire supply of her beloved company-saving press-getting (Food & Wine, even!) financial future that was Coastal Reserve. She TOTALLY gets that he's a Walker-hating nitwit. She UNDERSTANDS and is willing to let it slide. No really, she is. Since Ryan's an idiot, he obviously turns her down. Now it's a matter for the police. Luckily for Ryan, the cops are on The Senator's payroll. They pick him up and haul him straight to the hospital for a blood test.
Kevin, meanwhile, is devoting a lot of time to being not worried. What is he not worrying about? Oh this little woman that The Senator is visiting twice a week. See, he hired this opposition researcher to dig up as much dirt as possible on The Senator in preparation for the battle of a gubernatorial election and the investigator guy was a little too diligent in his due and started following The Senator around on his constitutionals. Unfortunately, when Kevin confronts The Senator (because he is a Walker and can't simultaneously not worry and keep quiet, because hello! That's hard.) The Senator is so pissed at the insinuation that he is having an affair that he tackles Kevin (!!). It's brilliant and even more brilliant when The Senator reveals, "It's a therapist, you chucklehead!" Yes, The Senator is seeing a therapist. Kevin isn't completely abashed, but his wrist is.
Obviously, Ryan has no interest in helping out a Walker, any Walker. Despite Nora's most brilliant and aggressive sarcasm he refuses to give Kitty the gift of life. He makes like a banana and splits before Holly has him arrested for reals. And hopefully for keeps.
The Senator is worried that Kitty is going to die without really knowing that he loves her (for reals this time) so he asks her to marry him again. Totally laying the ground for a Walker double wedding, since Rebecca and Justin still aren't hitchedâ€¦ I think. Then I start bawling like a girl as Kitty holds her son and wails that she is scared. Anyway, they renew their vows while Justin and Rebecca sit on the sidelines. But the biggest (only?) wedding gift they got is Ryan Lafferty having a big old change of heart and offering to give his evil father's daughter his bone marrow. This act of contrition and sacrifice does not earn Ryan an invitation to this wedding, either. Walkers really are kind of dicks.
Then The Senator withdraws from the race for Governor of the fair state of California. And Kitty is really happy about it. Also, she's not dead. Also also, she had an affair with some famous politician when she was just out of college, but I REFUSE to care.
Happy New Year! I know your holidays were simply destroyed by anxiety over the fate of one Mrs. Kitty McAllister who was completely irrevocably DEAD on the beach totally ruining Justin and Rebecca's wedding. She is such an attention hog, right? Well I for one don't want to ruin any more of your precious moments here on this Earth, so let's cut right to the chase shall we? Kitty's not dead. It was just a cliffhanger designed to ruin your one week of vacation and make spending quality time with the family that much more stressful because you were already on edge with your last nerve frazzled in concern over whether or not Invisible Evan would grow up without a mommy. And now, two seconds into the next episode and Kitty is fine. Sorry, but "fine" people don't just collapse and stop breathing and wind up in the hospital. What the heck is wrong with her? Well, they aren't going to tell us now. Just know that Kitty is fine. Totally fine. Fine enough for the Walkers to start eating potato chips. They are all loitering around the ER waiting room talking about how completely fine Kitty is. Rebecca, still wearing her so-called wedding dress like a perky Miss Haversham, keeps muttering under her breath, "But it's MY day. It's MY day!" Sarah, mouth full of potato chips, opines that she wishes she was in Hawaii like they were supposed to be and everyone jumps on the cursed wedding talk: there was the hurricane, the attention-seeking not-dead maid of honor, the fact that their mom got stood up. (Really? That comes after Kitty's collapse? Also, who exactly cares?) But wait, there's more: Justin's pre-nuptial freakout, Rebecca's knocked up status, and Kevin's ugly tie. No mention of Tommy's kidnapping charges. Where is Tommy anyway? Not that I'm complaining. The Senator shows up just then and rushes to his beloved's bedside. Kitty doesn't have time (or ambition, lazybones) to put on a wig or an Erykah Badu headwrap. Okay, fine, she's unconscious. That is no excuse for letting yourself go. Anyway, Nora is finally setting the proper mood and more or less sitting shiva for her not-dead daughter. I mean everyone out in the waiting room seemed pretty meh, like they were already moving past the drama onto new and untold drama maybe involving work or Sarah's unintended pregnancy. (What? Oh please, she's a woman eating POTATO CHIPS on national television. Of course she's pregnant.) Nora, however, is sitting vigil in Kitty's room just watching her daughter sleep. She looks appropriately aggrieved and forlorn when The Senator slides Risky Business-style into the room. Nora hugs him and explains that it was a pulmonary embolism in her lung, but they gave her blood thinners and she will totally be able to finish that poetry reading at the re-scheduled nuptials in no time. Also, tap dancing. Phew! Glad we weren't worried or anything. But wait, a blood clot? In her lungs? Why is this good news exactly? The Senator shakes his head miserably wishing he had never gone to that miserable swamp of a national capital with all those politicians milling about wanting to like vote on climate change bills and health care reform. It's just so creepy! Nora points out that when he left, the wedding was off and there was no way they could have predicted this would happen. So is Nora implying that the blood clot was caused by the wedding? Interesting theorem. The Senator is glad that it happened in California and not on a plane to Hawaii and, yes, that is a very good thing. I mean that would have ruined a LOT of people's vacations and we couldn't have that, now could we? Nora and The Senator ululate in praise to Hurricane Zelda, blatantly breaking the First Commandment. God doesn't smite them, though, although that would have been quite the dramatic twist. Then Nora leaves The Senator alone with his wife so she can go fetch Kitty's wig and toothbrush. Out in the waiting room, Nora breaks up the party and rallies the troops and sets everyone out on a separate mission. First up? Evan. Sarah volunteers to go get Evan from the sitter. Wasn't he at the wedding? How did he get to the sitter's in Santa Barbara? Whatever. The team heads off, but before Sarah leaves she sees Nora checking her phone, so she nicely asks about the missing Simon. Nora explains that he called and had an emergency, but a doctor's emergency isn't a good enough excuse for Sarah. This was a wedding! For the son of a woman he's been dating for at least three weeks! This is important! Nora shrugs and sends Sarah on her way.