Brothers and Sisters

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Sarah Gets Her Groove Back
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Oh Luc. Thank you for being shirtless on my television screen. Your nearly nude presence almost makes up for the atrocity that is Alec (now with more hair!) haunting the show last week. I said, almost. Now if for once Brothers & Sisters would make the most of their post-10 pm time slot and show a little butt crack like decent late-night folk...well, then we would almost be even. Almost. Sarah and Luc are making up for lost time and Joe having the kids and are cuddling au natural in bed. Luc is good naturedly (I almost wrote "nakedly", which would also be true) teasing her about her boyfriend, but Sarah is more than happy to pretend that the mature Mr. ManBoobs never existed. And, I mean, is it her fault that Luc couldn't handle her constant jabs over not having a job that required a suit and his inability to provide for her family in the manner to which they have become accustomed and his goddamn visa application? Obviously their entire break up was ENTIRELY Luc's fault for not being man enough to be able to take a strong, crazed, money-obsessed woman. So he apologizes for his weakness and promises to suck it up whenever she gets her bitch on in the future. Sarah should have listened to her heart, instead of the 1950s housewife she had living inside her spouting neuroses about money and job security? Anyway as Sarah bastardizes lines from Casablanca and Luc proves they are forever fated to be together because he recognizes arguably THE MOST FAMOUS MOVIE QUOTE EVER, the camera is panning up and down Luc and Sarah's nearly-naked bodies making us feel like we are the Peeping Toms hiding in their closets, which at least for me, is actually much more uncomfortable than sexy. I always wonder how they set up those scenes. Is Sarah really topless? Or is her post partum self wearing a strapless body stocking or is she just letting it all hang out and having Gilles Marini settle in good and just straddling a man because it's "in character"? Hmm... might be a good time to consider some acting classes. Sarah ruins the mood by demanding to know how long they have before his visa runs out. Luc mumbles something about how you gotta have faith and Sarah replies that she's agnostic. I can't decide whether to curse or thank the producers for not playing, like, the Nouvelle Vague version of George Michael right there.

Over at Justin and Rebecca's casa, Rebecca is headed to the gym AGAIN. Justin teases about turning into Mrs. Hulk Hogan and she knocks him into the wall, because OBNOXIOUS, MUCH? He reminds her about dinner at Nora's tonight, but she has plans with her dad who is just back from whatever Central American country paid the product placement rights to ABC to promote the fact that they are practically giving away permits for anyone wanting to shoot b-rate arty jungle flicks. You know David was working on, like, some underfunded reboot of The Mission with Josh Hartnett and Topher Grace. Justin tries to get Rebecca to reschedule because Walkers First! But, she really wants to talk to her daddy and Justin suddenly remembers that she had a miscarriage last episode and may want to talk to her dad. He confirms that she will indeed be talking to her dad about her personal tragedy and then agrees that maybe just this once he will let her hang out with her own family. But just this once. Don't go getting any ideas missy! Justin reminds Rebecca that she had a miscarriage and it was a big deal and she should maybe talk about it every once in a while. Rebecca brushes him off with an "I'm fine" and reminds him that just because he is forced to talk everything out in his NA meetings, doesn't mean she has to talk ever about anything ever. She is 100% totally mentally healthy and she is going to the goddamn gym to not talk about her miscarriage with her personal trainer. I'm not sure whether to curse or thank the producers for not playing, like, the Nickelback version of Elliot Smith's "Bottle Up and Explode" right there.

Kitty is whining to Kevin about how Buffy is making her, like, campaign and shit. I mean what is Buffy thinking? Kevin has no idea which Buffy she is talking about, because the writers like to pretend that the Walkers have friends, but we all know the truth: No one would hang out with these needy nitpicky whiny people if they didn't have to. Well, except us, but what else is there to watch at 10 on Sunday? Anyway. Kevin meets her whine and raises her one by bitching that he has to go on a freaking DATE with her husband. And, come on now, what gay man would complain about going on a date with Rob Lowe? Kitty giggles because it is funny because she knows her husband is hottt. Kitty wants Kevin to give The Senator a break, because he is leaving his job, his wife is completely preoccupied with taking over his career path and he is bored and needs someone to play Wii with and listen to Lady Gaga. And, obviously, The Senator is Walker enough to not have any friends other than another Walker. Kevin realizes this is all true. Then Kitty points out that, truthfully, Kevin has nothing better to do with his time either and he should either quit his job and start up a cupcake shop with Scotty or suck it up and split the goddamn turkey burger with The Senator.

Nora and Saul are opening wine in preparation for the dinner party in Luc's honor. Since it is a Walker dinner party, obviously there is a lot of wine to be opened and it takes a while. While they open bottle after bottle, they talk about the return of Dennis York. Nora is meeting with Holly tomorrow and she is really concerned that Dennis York is back in their lives. He is a sneaky man who never stops until he gets what he wants. I don't really know where this Dennis York storyline is going, but I am SO hoping that Dennis York gave Nora an Indecent Proposal at some point in their sordid past and she just doesn't want anyone to know about the night she spent wrapped up in his bearish arms trying to think only of the one million dollars she and William can use to start their very own fruit company. Nora wonders if there really is One Eyed Willy's pirate treasure hidden underneath the floorboards. If there is, Dennis York will never relent in his pursuit. Not even if the Fratelli Brothers and those pesky kids get in his way. Nora uselessly reminds Saul not to tell the kids, because, yeah, that secret will NEVER get out. Sarah interrupts to bitch at her mom for being so freaking slow in serving them dinner. Strangely Nora doesn't slap her down for being so RUDE as to complain about the service at her own mother's house. I mean, shut up and HELP, woman. Sheesh. Nora rushes out to serve her salads. Out in the dining room, a Walker (minus Rebecca) dinner party is in full swing. It is in Luc's honor, so each and every Walker is expressing their undying love and admiration for Luc. Apparently he and Sarah have been too busy getting busy for her to catch him up on all the family gossip. Did Justin and Rebecca get married? I actually don't know the answer to that question. Did Kitty have cancer? Yes, but unicorns (UNICORNS, MOTHERFUCKER) cured her and we don't talk about it now. And then they all fight over who gets to sit next to him and who gets to hang out with him that weekend and when is he having a sleepover and, yeah. Sarah smiles fondly and then Kevin spoils the mood by pointing out that Luc's visa is running out and so they should really hang out with him nowish. Sarah's face falls and then Justin suggests that they get married so Luc can stay. Hahahahahahaha as if this show would dare cast Luc as a Gerard Depardieu in the Green Card re-boot. I mean, really now, STANDARDS. Sarah suggests that Justin marry him, then. But Justin can't because he is ENGAGED. Really? They haven't gotten married yet? I thought the scene where Kitty is home from the hospital and The Senator is announcing that he wasn't running for governor any more and the camera spent, like, twenty minutes focused on Rebecca's finger. I thought that IMPLIED that they had gotten married. What with Saul being specially ordained and all. I guess not.

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Brothers and Sisters

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