Up in Ojai, Kitty is on her cell phone yelling about a quote being taken out of context and demanding a retraction AND an apology. She hangs up and apologizes to Jack for being on the phone. He makes some noise that to Kitty's well-trained politically sensitive ears amounts to a harsh indictment of the cell phone industry. She calls him out on his fear tactics, hating small business, being anti-family, and pro-Obama care. Also for being a luddite, but she quickly realizes that his dislike of cell phones is actually just a dislike of her cell phone because she is using it as a defense mechanism and hiding behind it instead of confronting the fact that he Frenched her. His grunts are very evocative, you see. Then he quotes Gandhi, which riles up pro-righteous war Kitty. Kitty gets uppity and explains that cell phones are an important part of her life, and have been long before he assaulted her with his mouth and construction-themed double entendres! He apologizes for kissing her when she just lost her husband, but is still pretty sure he was sensing some interest on her part. Kitty has mastered the art of righteous indignation and is SO offended that he would even think she would be interested in kissing him. All she did was invite him over to dinner, gawk at him, lie to him, feed him wine, and go pound a pole and practice long strokes with him. How could he get the wrong idea? She storms off. Maybe to water her invisible baby.
At the hospital, Rebecca comes out to report back to Nora and Justin. Rebecca says Holly is doing okay. Justin asks how she is doing and she asks him for some yogurt. (What is this, Burn Notice?) Justin is clearly hoping to get laid again soon because he doesn't even shoot her a WTF, yogurt? look, but just runs off to the lunchroom to fetch it, leaving Nora and Rebecca alone. Confusingly, it seems that Rebecca has not actually seen Holly yet. She tells Nora that Holly wants to see her because of something Nora said. Nora quickly explains that she just told Holly that Rebecca loved her, so don't yell at her, okay? Rebecca sighs and says she doesn't know what to do. The doctors have helpfully told her that seeing her will either make Holly get better or infinitely worse, but it's totally up to her. Is there a Private Practice crossover that I don't know about? Because these sound like equally awesome doctors.
Nora gives up on her plan of going home anytime soon and sits down next to Rebecca to give her some sage advice. Rebecca asks if Justin told her that they hooked up all hot and heavy last night? Nora nods, but hastily adds that it was just because she is a nosy nosy woman who had to ask about her son's sex life. Rebecca tells Nora that she sent her photography portfolio (unrequested) to Tribeca Magazine in New York City and they were SO IMPRESSED with her AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHY that they offered her a full time staff position despite the fact that she has never worked as a photographer before, lives in L.A., and that they have eight million desperate photographers in New York who would happily work freelance, saving the magazine precious financial resources during these troubling economic times. Rebecca really wants the job, but also kind of maybe wants to work things out with Justin. Nora is so pleased that she got her dream job and, you know, Justin's not all that. Rebecca should follow her dream! Rebecca apologizes for putting Nora in the awkward position of encouraging her very recently ex daughter-in-law to follow her dreams, move across country, and break her son's heart into itty bitty pieces in a strange act of betrayal of her son and his FEELINGS. Nora shrugs. Whatevs.
Oh my god, Nora is missing Cooper's play. Has anyone checked her for a brain tumor? Sarah and her BANGS sit next to Luc and behind the Bitchy Wives Club and their pearls. Sarah leans forward to compliment the hyphenates' children on their ACTING! and Luc shoots her a dirty look, because really, complimenting other people's children is just not done. Cooper appears on stage and Kevin, Scotty, and Saul all whoop loudly because they checked their social skills at the door. The Bitchy Wives are NOT impressed by this show of familial support.
Rebecca goes in to see Holly and finds her in A Mood. Holly thanks her for coming and Rebecca shrugs that she's her mom and she loves her. Holly throws her plate of canned peas at the wall (not really, but it was implied) and demands some Dr. Phil-style straight talk and honesty. Holly was not perfect and everyone needs to stop pretending that she was or she will never remember her true bitchy self. All anyone is feeding her is canned peas and BS. She needs a steady diet of truth to get better. Rebecca confesses that she ran away when she was 15 and it was totally Holly's fault. Holly is all ears.
The play is in full swing when The Hyphenate's fat kid rips his costume. Clearly this is Kevin's fault for failing to follow Rev. Camden's stitching advice. Sarah is too horrified by The Hyphenate's dirty look to yell at Kevin now, but will be sure to send him a flaming bag of dog poop later when Cooper is rejected by the prep school of her dreams.
Back at the hospital, Rebecca is letting herself feel open and vulnerable and talking to Holly like she remembers her or something. Holly asks about Justin and Rebecca says it was tough having her husband go off to war after three months of marriage, but Holly knows all about that what with Daniel and all. Holly shoots her a confused look, but it's not because she doesn't remember this completely ret-conned storyline, but because she can't believe she would have told Rebecca (a complete stranger!) about the love of her life, Daniel. Rebecca reminds her that she got married to this Daniel guy secretly and then he enlisted and wrote her every single day until he stepped on a mine in Kai-San. So everyday for a year (yes, including holidays and long weekends) she dropped flowers at the location where they first met. Holly is shocked that she told Rebecca this story. She must have really loved and trusted Rebecca to confide in her like that. Too bad she doesn't feel like that now. Rebecca is stunned and hurt by this, which was SO obvious it makes you wonder if Rebecca sustained a lil brain damage in that car accident too. I mean, wasn't it just yesterday that Holly patted her on the hand and hoped she would find her mother some day? Does Rebecca not remember that? Because that's the first sign. Holly tells Rebecca that she just can't make herself feel something she doesn't, which sounds like over-therapied BS and if Holly is truly a good person wouldn't she at least want to PRETEND so she would stop hurting someone she KNOWS is her daughter? This storyline is too loopy to parse. Anyway, Justin is eavesdropping as Holly dumps the hurt on Rebecca.
At the play, Cooper as Romeo is getting ready to plant one on Juliet. Which is one of the many reasons that this play is not at all appropriate for fifth graders. Juliet puckers up, Cooper pauses and shoots a silent plea to Luc who gives him encouraging looks and hand gestures. Then Cooper grabs the girl and lays one on her while the adults all hoot and holler. The girl is embarrassed and runs backstage while the set collapses around them and spa