Brothers and Sisters

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Pucker Up
rks shoot up in the air from falling spotlights. Um, maybe someone should have spent less time hand embroidering the costumes and more time getting that stage up to safety standards. Will no one think of the children?! Sarah will undoubtedly blame Luc for this.

Sarah finds herself out in the hallway getting schooled by The Hyphenate and her cohort. Sarah is promising to pay for any damages done as a result of Cooper's kissing prowess, but the ladies are not satisfied, despite the fact that there is no feasible way for Cooper's kiss to have caused the stage set to collapse. In fact, most parents in Sarah's situation would be considering suing the school for almost dropping a light on her kid's head. But the Bitch Wives want restitution for Cooper's over zealous kiss. They can't help thinking about that poor little girl and her trauma. Sarah explains that Cooper has already apologized and the girl was backstage eating pizza. Sarah apologizes some more even though as far as I can tell neither of the women is the girl's mother. Sarah promises to talk to Cooper about his behavior, but the women STILL aren't satisfied. They think Cooper's behavior is the result of growing up in an overly-sexualized home and Sarah should probably kick Luc out for trying to co-parent while French. That is just too far for even Stepford Sarah. She shakes her head, rids herself of all the nonsense she has been spouting all episode, and calls out one of the condescending ladies for marrying a bazillionaire with a bazillion tax evasion and fraud charges pending against him and calls out The Hyphenate for romping with the pool boy and the gardener. She's about to really get going when Luc pulls her aside, kisses her, and they walk out to co-parent in peace. This was SUCH a stupid storyline. Also, it is really confusing me as to why these two women are at the elementary school production if they are on the board at a snooty prep school? Is Cooper in a play at the prep school? I has confuse.

After the play, Saul and the Rev. Camden are getting some drinks at Saul's restaurant. Rev. Camden quotes some Shakespeare and leans in for a kiss. Saul finally tells him that he is positive. Rev. Camden stops and pulls back. It's not that he is afraid he can get HIV from kissing (you can't) but it's just that he was with a man for 20 years and he struggled with AIDS for the last ten. Rev. Camden just can't go through that again. Saul tries to convince him that he is asymptomatic, always has been, and is a really good kisser, but Rev. Camden just won't do it. Saul looks really sad.

After the hospital, Rebecca heads back to Justin's house. She asks if Nora made Cooper's play, but Justin is more bummed that they missed it. It's THEIR play after all. Rebecca's like, what sort of fucked up shit is that? Because really, Romeo and Juliet is not something to aspire to. Rebecca mutters something about dead star-crossed lovers and Justin quickly back pedals that they can make it work without all that dying. Rebecca pats him on the leg and tells him that her mom isn't getting any better. Also, she got a job in New York. Justin took the opportunity to go to Afghanistan and find himself (before the militants did) and now he's all mature and level-headed. She needs that opportunity, too. She got her dream job as a magical photographer in New York City and she has to take it. Justin looks sad, but understanding. He saw her with her mom trying to make it like it was before and he wanted to do that with her. But Rebecca knows they can't go backwards and Justin seems to agree. It's time to move on. Justin intones, "It's time." And Rebecca answers, "It's time." As the theme song to The Lion King plays, Justin and Rebecca bid farewell to each other.

Nora is cooking a big batch of conciliatory peanut butter cookies for Cooper for missing his play. Justin stops by to see how Nora is doing after Rebecca stopped by to say goodbye. Nora shoots him a look because it's obvious that she is fine and he is dissembling. Nora shakes her head a little, sadly, and says she is fine because she is good at saying goodbye to people she loves. Justin laughs that she is taking it out on peanut butter cookies. She explains that they are for Cooper but that they are helping her keep her mind off of things. He offers to help, but Nora won't let him scoop dough in peace. She wants to talk about Rebecca and his FEELINGS. Justin tries to change the subject and begs her to stop because if he starts, he won't stop. She tells him not to stop, there's no one here but her anyway. So Justin cries and his mom holds him.

Speaking of depressing scenes, Saul is trying to do the restaurant's accounting, but Scotty and Kevin want him to talk about his FEELINGS. Saul claims that he is fine, lucky even. He's alive while Rev. Camden's boyfriend is dead. See? Lucky. He's bummed that Rev. Camden didn't nut up and stick it out, but he will be okay. He thanks the boys for giving him the courage to tell the Reverend the truth even though it didn't turn out well. He encourages them to nudge him when necessary. Kevin nudges him right into a blind date with a guy named Stanley.

Sarah is apologizing to Cooper for thinking of his future and trying to get him into a good school. Cooper says that school is the weenie capital of the world. Then Luc comes in with the phone. It's Juliet for Cooper -- she needs help with her homework, nudge, nudge, wink wink. Cooper high fives himself and goes off to help the little lady. He is such a little "bro" in training it is repulsive. As for Sarah's personality glitch? I blame the BANGS.

Up in Ojai, Kitty and Jack are not taking a break from each other even for one little minute. Oh no, they are sitting side by side on a glider with an icy distance between them. Kitty thanks him for coming over and apologizes for running away from him yesterday when all he wanted to do was make out. She apologizes for talking too much and then he shushes her twice, which has got to be the LEAST ATTRACTIVE THING TO DO EVER and then they kiss some more.

Justin returns from Nora's to find the magical recipe for Rebecca's revolting coffee drink. He can make it at home and spare himself the indignity of ordering it from a mocking barista. She really thinks of everything.

Before she goes, Rebecca stalks her parents. She stands in the shadows with the accoutrements of her new craft, nay PROFESSION, around her neck and snaps photos of her parents from the bushes. And with that creepy image in our heads, Rebecca wanders off into the sunset. And by sunset I mean life as a successful photographer in New York City. And by that I mean, intern. She is totally going to be an intern.

Lulu Bates a.k.a. Melissa Locker would not kiss any of these people. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.

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Brothers and Sisters

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