Kitty has Stage 3 lymphoma that has spread to her lungs and bowels. She can either get the normal boring standard treatment in California, or the new shiny experimental treatment in Boston. But Kitty can’t focus on choosing which option is more depressing and instead takes Rebecca wedding dress shopping. Luckily Nora and The Senator have a battle royale to decide treatment before coming to détente on the grounds that they’re going to need each other during the long miserable slog ahead.
Justin starts gross anatomy and it is taught by Henry from Eureka and his lab partner is an updated Urkel although he is a pretender for the Doogie Howser throne. The playing field gets leveled when it turns out Urkel has a major fear of the gross part of the anatomy.
Holly and Saul head to a wine auction and end up squaring off against the previously unknown nemesis to whom Ryan was feeding confidential information. Turns out William Walker had a long and extensive history as an embezzler and this guy, Dennis York, was one of his early partners in crime. He went to jail while William went free and now he is seeking revenge on William’s mistress and brother-in-law by buying up all the wine in Southern California and starting a rival fruit company. Which sounds like a very slow and convoluted form of misplaced revenge more appropriate to a villain from Our Man Flint than a primetime drama.
Somehow the governor’s campaign get their hands on Kitty’s medical records and Travis surprises Kevin when he promises to not leak it or to spin it into another reason The Senator can’t become The Governor. But Kevin doesn’t know what Travis is talking about. Kevin confronts Kitty and once Kevin knows, Kitty realizes the cat’s out of the bag and decides to have Nora arrange one of her infamous dinner parties to which no one ever wants to get an invitation. Obviously the entire party ends up in the kitchen hotly debating treatment options and Kitty ends up apologizing for having cancer and ruining everyone’s chance to eat fresh rolls. By the end of the show the Walkers have come backtogether in a safety net of food, family, and wedding planning. And Sarah comes home to give her little sister a really big hug.
Want to annoy your husband with the sound of a screaming baby? There’s an app for that. Scotty rubs Kevin’s face in his desire to have a child with a nifty automated screaming baby computer program. But after Kitty’s big announcement, Scotty changes his mind about the baby. He wants to carpe diem, but now it’s Kevin who is having cold feet. Kevin wants to wait a couple of months to have a baby, which is good, because it takes nine.
Day breaks in California and it is already sunny and people are already getting busy (in bed) because it is California and that is how they roll (in bed). Justin is using Rebecca as an anatomy study guide because in his magically combined BA/MD program it's not the organic chemistry or the physical chemistry or the biochemistry that is giving Justin such a rough time, no, it's memorizing the damn bones of the arm. First it was fingers and then the wrist and now the stupid ulna. Shut up! We get it, memorizing is soooooo hard. Harrumph. Anyway, Rebecca staves off his kisses long enough to tell him that she is going wedding dress shopping with Kitty today. She helped Kitty pick out her wedding dress, so it was only fair to reciprocate. There is some reference to a slutty bride, which I am going to ignore to see if it dies a slow painful death at the hands of irate feminists, and then Justin starts naming MORE bones of the body and I kick out my television screen. The End.
Okay fine. Justin is starting gross anatomy today and Rebecca tells him not to be nervous because nothing happens on the first day, thus dooming him to some form of educational execution. For science! Justin says that they get assigned lab partners today and Rebecca perks up and looks at him suspiciously and says that he had better not get randomly assigned a hot lady lab partner. And, honey, I am totally with you on this. While I have grown accustomed to these two being paired off, I can not (will not!) tolerate yet another needy Narcotics Anonymous hottie, another half-sibling almost (but not quite!), or, really, any other cheekbone-riddled seductor attempting to tear these two apart. Seriously, writers, there are other plotlines floating in the giant cauldron of ideas. Go fish for one.
To remind us that life is not happy and fun-filled and giggly, we now turn to Kitty, Nora, and The Senator sitting in a row in the doctor's office waiting for Kitty's test results. While Nora has a good feeling about it, the doctor quickly dispels it. She walks in, throws some CT scans up on the light board, and cuts right to the chase: the cancer has spread to Kitty's lungs, bowels, and the area behind her abdominal cavity. Okay, I will have to admit that I never thought I would be writing about Calista Flockhart's bowels. It's like I write for TMZ or something! Kitty is sort of stunned at the rapid-fire delivery of the bad news that her cancer has spread. Her doctor tells her it is Stage Three cancer. Her doctor swears that while this sounds bad, it actually is pretty much sunshine and lollipops compared to some cancers (which I hope I and my loved ones and all of you out there never ever get). This cancer is highly treatable and with proper treatment people can live long lives. The doctor lays out the treatment options: chemo cocktail in California (cocktail makes it sound downright enjoyable, right? Like it should have a little umbrella in it or something) or a new experimental drug regimen that is in trials in Boston. The trial in Boston is showing a slightly better prognosis, but you have to go to Boston for the six-month duration and there are some complications. The doctor tells Kitty that she needs to choose and she needs to do it soon. I wonder how long it will take for me to end up in tears this episode? There is a strict rule in my house that I am not allowed to watch medical dramas because I cry and not silently either. It's one of my more embarrassing qualities. I can't even watch Grey's Anatomy. How did this happen to me? Maybe it's some residual trauma from the ten years I spent watching ER only to have it brutally cancelled with only a hint of George Clooney to soften the blow. It takes years to get over a hurt like that.