Mateo leads the bleeding heart upper middle class liberals into his not-that-small (at least by New York standards) well-lit house that is threadbare, messy, and has peeling paint and they all suck their breath in through their teeth and Nora unconsciously holds her bag a little tighter. It's just so shocking to know that poor people exist! Mateo points out that his dad is not there so can they just leave him alone now or just adopt him, Punky Brewster-style already? Nora suggests that she leave a note for his dad instead. Mateo goes off to find some paper to leave the grown ups to talk dismissively about his surroundings in peace. Nora doesn't want to leave Mateo in that setting, but Kevin points out that it is messy but adequate and not everyone has to grow up in a mansion in Pasadena. Nora doesn't like having her liberal credentials questioned so she turns on Kevin, pointing out that if he hadn't grown up in a mansion in Pasadena maybe he would care more, like she does, which makes no sense, but it doesn't matter because Scotty reports that Mateo is gone! He climbed out the window to escape the cloying smell of white guilt. Nora gasps! How can she save him, adopt him, send him to Stanford, and stand proudly by as he is inaugurated as governor if he keeps running away from her?
Despite having killed her husband off in order to get a job running the Republican National Committee, Kitty is looking for a career change. Maybe writing kiddie books? It doesn't really matter what she does, because this is all just filler until Nora can come in the door, collapse in exhaustion on the granite-covered kitchen island and try to avoid Kitty's questions. Kitty wants to go house hunting with her mom, but Nora can't do it. She also won't give Kitty a straight answer as to why she can't do it. Luckily the phone rings before Kitty can torture her anymore, but Nora doesn't answer. Then the house phone rings and Nora leaps for it like a short Baryshnikov. Nora takes the call in the other room, but Kitty can't even pretend to not eavesdrop. So from the kitchen she hears things like, "I told you not to call me on this number" and "I thought you understood me wanting to keep this private!" "I haven't told my family yet!" "You have needs and obviously so do I." "Sometimes you push me too hard." And she hears Nora say it all in a low gravely voice. She hangs up and tells Kitty she just remembered that she has to go pick up her dress for the party tonight. Kitty strategically offers to go pick it up for her, but obviously Nora refuses because she has to go make bouquets for a wedding for her stupid secret job. Grrr. Kitty obviously decides she has no choice but to put Evan in the car and follow Nora. Why do the writers think we want to see this nonsense?
Ooohh, Paige is in truuuuhhh-bulll! Sarah wants to know why Paige won't play with her friend Agatha any more. Paige declares Agatha immature. She wears a Hello Kitty backpack and likes to make friendship bracelets. Also, she totally thinks Joe Jonas is gay, when CLEARLY he is in love with Paige. Sarah thinks Paige shouldn't go to the party tonight with that attitude. Paige screeches at such high volumes that dolphins start weeping so Luc comes up with a compromise: Paige has to apologize to Agatha and then she can go to the party. Paige agrees, especially when it turns out Luc is going to drive her and make her seem that much cooler and more mature than stupid baby Agatha.
Speaking of stupid, Kitty has managed to put the baby in the car in such a timely manner that she has no problem spying on Nora. She does her best Law & Order impersonation and parks the car just out of sight so she can see Nora, but Nora can't see her. Nora knocks on the door of a stately manner with a large bouquet in hand. She hugs the woman who opens the door, says something seemingly conciliatory and heads inside. Kitty gasps as everything she has seen and heard crystallizes into a complete picture. She quickly calls Kevin with her discovery: Nora Walker is gay! Seriously, if I didn't have to recap this, I would turn it off right now. Gah. Shut up, show.
It's party time! Luc is looking suave in the grey suit that Paige picked out for him to wear. He is posing for the paparazzi when Sarah and Paige walk in. Paige looks cute and mostly age appropriate in a peach one-shoulder dress. Sarah, however, looks like she got dressed for church, not a cocktail party. She is covered in a floral print from neck to knee and, of course, BANGS. She sends Luc and Paige off to investigate whether it is Paris Hilton snorting cocaine in the corner, while she waits by the front door for the rest of the family.
Kevin, Scotty, and Kitty are already inside, cocktails in hand as they debate the merits of Kitty's claim that Nora is totally gay. Kevin doesn't buy it for a second, but Scotty is more open-minded about the possibility of Nora making a late in life decision to try out for the other team. Then he makes the mistake of googling "senior citizen" and "lesbian" and naturally ends up with nursing home porn streaming on to his BlackBerry. Justin wanders over JUSTIN time to spit take at the granny porn his sister is ogling. They explain that they were just trying to prove that Nora could be a lesbian, which strangely doesn't make Justin feel better. Then Kevin's phone rings and it's the police. Scotty is concerned that the cops tapped Kevin's phone and that he will be hauled off to jail for looking at wrinkle smut. Kevin rolls his eyes, mutters something about Larry Flynt and the constitution, and answers the call. He groans louder, but we don't find out why because we cut to Nora ogling an underwear model (a lady, too!). Sarah finds her and then Nora notices that Sarah has brought Paige to the grown up party. She is about tsk tsk when Paige comes over with her new BFF who is totally mature and comes to these parties all the time and has never made a friendship bracelet in her life. Sarah suggests they all go meet her aunt and uncles, but Paige wants to illicitly drink with her new friend instead. So mature!
While the Walkers are partying down, Holly and David are looking at a photo album of Justin and Rebecca's wedding. Holly remembers Justin, but not Rebecca. She thinks Justin is nice, he reminds her of William, and he doesn't talk down to her. David rolls his eyes. Holly apologizes, but she just can't remember Rebecca, no matter how many photos he shows her. David really wants her to try and remember the kind of