Nora has a special guest on her radio show -- it's Brody, her extra special ex! After Sarah went sniffing around in Modesto and happened to mention that William Walker was R.I.P., Brody took it as a hint that Nora was still interested in him. So he drove his RV over to Pasadena and parked it at Walker Manor. Nora decides to pretend that her life with William was completely perfect (Holly who?) but it doesn't seem to fool Brody. He cooks like a champ, the kids love him, and he slowly charms Nora, although it's really his dog Lily who makes the bold move in the bedroom. So when Lily gets sick, Nora stands by Brody's side. At the veterinarian, Brody confesses that when Sarah came to talk to him about Nora, he thought Nora was dead and was filled with regret. So he decided to look her up. Nora's okay with that. Brody heads out on the road, but Lily stays behind to recuperate …and ensure Brody's swift return.
Tommy is being torn in several directions. He's not happy working with Sarah, can't find a happy niche, and Rose is happy to go back to Seattle. The Walkers, however, are not open to that possibility. Brody is more than happy to listen, though, and ends up getting Tommy a job …in Phoenix. Walkers are not pleased. But Tommy is happy and for some reason Rose is content to move wherever the wind blows Tommy. So off to Phoenix they go.
Paige has a health class baby, but Sarah is a grumpy and forgetful grandma who loses little Joaquin Whedon at the first opportunity. Paige is not happy that her mom has tried to substitute whole wheat Joaquin for a sack of all-purpose flour. Then Brody makes a batch of muffins out of Joaquin. But Paige really gets her pants in a knot when she overhears that Nora was knocked up when she got married. Oh the disappointment tastes bitter…like muffins made out of a fake baby. Nora, Sarah, and Paige have to sit down and have a chat about teen pregnancies and grandma's big mistake a.k.a. Sarah. Awkward!
Justin is making new friends in the homeless veteran community. When he responds to a call he meets a homeless vet who yells at him a lot and also is homeless. Justin gives him a home. The end.
And Kitty is still missing and no one seems to care. Me included.
Lulu Bates a.k.a. Melissa Locker can't believe that Tommy's really gone. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
Welcome back to Walkerlandia. Let's see who gets de-Walkered this week, eh? I vote for Rose's accent. Who's with me? That's right, everyone. She's from SEATTLE, okay? Seattle has no discernable accent!
Anyway. In his office/loft/restaurant Kevin is hard at work making a paperclip chain. I guess that whole solo practitioner thing isn't going so well and has created a surfeit of downtime which can only be filled with arts and crafts projects to sell on his Etsy store. Of course, Kevin is a secret crafter, which is kind of like a secret eater but more embarrassing and less fattening. So when Paige walks in and catches him crafting, he turns bright red and tries to shove the evidence in a drawer. Luckily for him Paige has come seeking a favor and not to judge. She has adopted a bag of flour, which is a pretty freaking weird thing to do, but because she is in middle school, this behavior is considered normal and not schizophrenic. She's no Log Lady and if you don't know that reference, WATCH MORE TELEVISION. Her school's health class has encouraged this behavior so that Paige can learn valuable life lessons about how lame it is to cart around carbohydrates all day. Also to not have sex before marriage and/or ever. So the new mother is on her way to a swim meet and needs Uncle Kevin to watch the baby who she has named Joaquin Whedon just to annoy me while she competes. Kevin can drive Joaquin to Grandma Sarah's when he is ready to get back to his crafts... er, day job. Kevin nods as Paige's carpool honks and she runs out the door abandoning her newly-adopted, not-yet-bonded infant sack of King Arthur Whole Wheat Flour with her uncle. That is not very responsible, Paige! I think you are going to have to watch a lot of Teen Mom if you really want to understand this adolescent parenting thing. That shit is real.
Speaking of sex before marriage, Tommy's emaciated yet animated corpse is lying in bed next to Rose and her accent. She wants to get frisky all necrophilia style and Tommy is more than game... until the alarm clock goes off and some idiot (Rose) set the clock radio to blare Nora's show. Nothing like Nora to kill a woody, I always say. (I never say that.)