Welcome back to Walkerlandia. Let's see who gets de-Walkered this week, eh? I vote for Rose's accent. Who's with me? That's right, everyone. She's from SEATTLE, okay? Seattle has no discernable accent!
Anyway. In his office/loft/restaurant Kevin is hard at work making a paperclip chain. I guess that whole solo practitioner thing isn't going so well and has created a surfeit of downtime which can only be filled with arts and crafts projects to sell on his Etsy store. Of course, Kevin is a secret crafter, which is kind of like a secret eater but more embarrassing and less fattening. So when Paige walks in and catches him crafting, he turns bright red and tries to shove the evidence in a drawer. Luckily for him Paige has come seeking a favor and not to judge. She has adopted a bag of flour, which is a pretty freaking weird thing to do, but because she is in middle school, this behavior is considered normal and not schizophrenic. She's no Log Lady and if you don't know that reference, WATCH MORE TELEVISION. Her school's health class has encouraged this behavior so that Paige can learn valuable life lessons about how lame it is to cart around carbohydrates all day. Also to not have sex before marriage and/or ever. So the new mother is on her way to a swim meet and needs Uncle Kevin to watch the baby who she has named Joaquin Whedon just to annoy me while she competes. Kevin can drive Joaquin to Grandma Sarah's when he is ready to get back to his crafts... er, day job. Kevin nods as Paige's carpool honks and she runs out the door abandoning her newly-adopted, not-yet-bonded infant sack of King Arthur Whole Wheat Flour with her uncle. That is not very responsible, Paige! I think you are going to have to watch a lot of Teen Mom if you really want to understand this adolescent parenting thing. That shit is real.
Speaking of sex before marriage, Tommy's emaciated yet animated corpse is lying in bed next to Rose and her accent. She wants to get frisky all necrophilia style and Tommy is more than game... until the alarm clock goes off and some idiot (Rose) set the clock radio to blare Nora's show. Nothing like Nora to kill a woody, I always say. (I never say that.)