Brothers and Sisters
Brody

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The Brody Bunch

Justin is on the job and stitching up some guy's head wound. Gross! But I'm glad Justin found his calling in grossness. The guy turns out to be a vet who did tours in Afghanistan -- just like Justin! The guy is quick to point out that this does not make them brothers and I like this guy already. Then he cuts a few more sarcastic one-liners, Justin notes his bloody knuckles, the guy shrugs and heads to the ambulance for some stitches leaving Justin to wish he was as awesome as that guy. He's not.

Sarah swings by Kitty's house where Rose has dressed to clash with the decor. Like, OH MY GOD, the wardrobe department HATES this woman. She is wearing a red Rorschach print dress which clashes with her wretched hair color and really clashes with Kitty's light green walls. Please step away from the wall, Rose, before I have a seizure. I guess Tommy and Rose have moved into Kitty's house while she is off somewhere far away doing something unknown and leaving her son with her dead husband's ex-wife. No one in her family seems to care, so I can only assume she is being shunned in that Amish sort of way.

Rose is pissed that Sarah tracked down Brody and Sarah fires back that this is all Rose's fault in the first place for pointing out facts and things. Then Tommy comes out yelling, because he is Tommy and, hence, a dick. He doesn't want Sarah at "his" house because he doesn't want to be involved in this family argument. Was Tommy always this much of an asshole? I mean, is this what his trip to Mexico to find himself brought? All this screeching doesn't sound like inner peace to me. Go do some yoga or something, most dickish Walker. Tommy then yells something about hating his job (you know, the one he begged his sister for last week) and wanting to move back to Seattle. Rose is super excited about moving back to Seattle and away from the evil wardrobe department and the mean Walkers who hated her on sight and made her cry and then didn't apologize about it. Sarah tells her to shut it because Tommy has to do what she says because she is his big sister and Rose is just his most recent fiancée. Tommy tells Rose to shut it because she is displaying too much of a backbone and he really needs a pushover. He hasn't decided where he is living yet. He will let her know. For now they are in the greater L.A. area but when he tires of it they will move to Seattle or somewhere else he deems fit. He alone will make this decision. Don't argue, woman! Then he clobbers her on the head and drags her by the hair to his mancave.

Brody is annoying Nora in the way that someone you have known for a looooong time can annoy you. Kevin comes over on Sarah's behalf to try and smooth things over with Nora. He introduces himself to Brody and Brody's dog, Lily. Kevin remarks that they used to have a dog, but after it died William Walker wouldn't let them get another one. Nora tries to defend St. William's image, but Kevin snorts and reminds her that he bought a dog for Holly. Brody kindly asks if Holly is one of her kids, causing Nora to go apoplectic and kick everyone out of the house. Brody shrugs that he can't go anywhere because his motor home broke down. Nora sighs as Brody heads out to tinker on his engine knowing that she is never getting rid of him.

Whoa. The unthinkable has happened. Nora Walker has let someone else cook in her kitchen. She's not even there hovering, nervously tut tutting over her Le Creuset! What in the what? Sarah stops by to see her handiwork and by handiwork she means her notFather Brody puttering around Nora's kitchen. She notes that Brody is cooking and not dead. Yet. He smiles that he simply didn't ask and just started sautéing. Sarah seems impressed by his cojones and probably kinda wishes that Brody was her dad except that she wouldn't have $56 million dollars in the bank after selling her actual father's company and spending an entire season debating fucking water rights. (Great plotline, guys! Let's do it again soon.)

Nora's mom alarm goes off and she realizes that Sarah is in the house and she hasn't gotten a chance to holler at her yet. So she does. She reminds Sarah that she is a modern grown up and if she wanted to Google Brody or Facebook friend him then she would have. She doesn't even know if Brody is her type! Sarah nods, but never actually apologizes for not believing her mother about who her father was. I mean, good lord, that should have been on the top of the damn list of things to apologize for! That and for still having the damn bangs, which are offensive to all. Paige calls then, suddenly remembering that she has an infant at home and dying to feed him and cuddle him and dress him in pretty outfits. That's when Sarah realizes she has done the unthinkable and lost Joaquin. Let me say that again: SHE LOST JOAQUIN. Yet still, no one cares.

Kevin and Tommy are drinking up the profits at Scotty's bar. Tommy is bitching and moaning about the job that his sister so kindly gave him last week despite the fact that he has no experience and kinda sorta robbed the last company he was working for. You remember, right? But Sarah let bygones and misdemeanors be bygones and hired her brother on the spot to come work for her and now he is miserable and bitching and, was Tommy always this bad of an actor? I mean, I think I have already asked that question, but dude, whatever he did during his hiatus it was not acting classes at the Y. Kevin claims that he "gets it," which is dumb because Tommy's being a misogynistic baby who thinks he is smarter than his non-thieving Wharton-educated sister, but Kevin doesn't think moving back to Seattle is the best option. Then he suggests that Tommy go see Nora and assuage her concerns about this and the fact that Brody is parking a gas guzzler in her driveway (not a euphemism) and what will the neighbors think? Tommy agrees, but only because he has to go deliver Joaquin to Sarah who is hiding out there from her daughter. Kevin canNOT believe that Joaquin is in the car alone and Tommy makes this WTF? face and somehow makes himself look way worse than normal. That's hard, guys.

Back at Walker Manor, Nora is complimenting Brody's cooking and career choices. In return Brody compliments Nora's mad skills on the baseball field. That's when he started calling her slugger, you see. Contrary to rumor it had nothing to do with Nora's willingness to go to third base and beyond. Brody swears to Nora that he cooked her dinner as a thank you for letting him park his car in her driveway (not a euphemism), he has no agenda or ulterior motive. Pinky swear! Nora nods, and it is a tribute to Sally Field's acting skills that she manages to look simultaneously doubtful, stern, and disappointed. It's the middle of the night and despite Brody's assurance that he has no agenda to recapture their youthful trips around the bases (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) Brody is in his robe in Nora's room. She fumbles for the light and is like, what in the what?, because Brody is yelling, "Come here, girl!" And that's kind of a weird thing to say during a booty call. Then Brody points to the bed, which is weirder, and then Nora realizes that Lily the dog is in the bed next to her. Brody explains that he brought her inside to make some rice to soothe her upset stomach and then she bolted into bed with Nora. Awww, cute! Nora's okay with her staying, but Brody has to go. He won't sleep away from Lily, so he heads for Sofa City. Cute. Also, slightly strange.

Ruh-roh, Sarah is in trouble. Seems someone didn't pick up Joaquin from Tommy's house (or Nora's? who cares) and tried to swap him for an off-brand bag of flour while Paige was asleep. Someone should try that with the babies on Teen Mom just for fun to see if they notice. But Paige is, you know, not blind and she knows that her little sack o' flour was actually whole wheat not bleached. So she comes down the stairs hollering at Sarah as if any of this mattered in the least. Sarah pretends that Cooper and Luc are still asleep and not written off the show for budgetary purposes. Have you all noticed that only half the cast is ever prese

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Brothers and Sisters

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