Brothers and Sisters

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A Very Walker Christmas
is past sexual partners. Not even then did he call Saul! Worse? The reason he didn't call was because he DIDN'T REMEMBER sleeping with him. Wow. The writers really hate Saul a lot. Saul looks a bit crushed, but mostly bewildered. How could Jonathan not remember what has long been Saul's most cherished memory and now most momentous memory? The answer? Shrug. Brilliant move, writers. Is this what happens to Jews on Christmas?

While Saul is not about to go donning any gay apparel any time soon, Sarah is feeling even less gay. She is knee deep in paperwork at the radio station (yes, the one she swore she would never step foot in) and all around her is the joyous merrymaking of the office Christmas party. Even though she fired Louise (and Abner) they are still at the party raising their voice in song with all the other Whos in Whoville. Sarah is about to put on a Grinch costume and tell them to pipe down, when she is struck by the Christmas spirit and her heart grows three sizes.

Also growing hearts? And some common sense? Kitty and Kevin. They apologize for fighting about the location of Santa's Village. They need a new plan for Christmas. Walker conference call! Sarah wants out of Christmas entirely because she is evil and the dummy is going to kill her in her sleep and she will deserve it. Kitty and Kevin ask her to please stay far far away from them. Then they all share about their fears and Kevin gives a rousing speech about how the Walkers are not Grinches, but Whos and they need to rally. Then Mariah Carey sings and when we get back from that delightful trip down horror lane we land in... Walker Manor. The house is decorated within an inch of its life, but classy like, not exploded Sandra Lee like. Sarah is talking to her children on the phone when Nora and Carl arrive. Sarah is so excited to see them and calls for her brothers and sister to join them. Everyone runs to Nora and hugs her and says all sorts of uncharacteristically sappy things like "Don't ever do that again, mom!" which should NEVER come out of Kevin's mouth. Then Kevin offers Nora a glass of eggnog and she stares at it in fear, but confronts her fears and takes the proffered glass.

Everyone goes to toast the Christmas spirit when the doorbell rings. Is it Tommy? Does Tommy get to come home for the holidays? Or is he spending it alone save for a bottle of scotch in Seattle? It's not Tommy. It's The Barista! (Can I just point out how far Kitty has fallen from The Senator to The Barista?) Kitty runs to greet him and plants one on him in front of the whole family so everyone knows that she is not embarrassed by her relationship with this child. Everyone greets him and offers him eggnog. Later, Kitty is risking future therapy bills by forcing Evan to sit next to the ventriloquist, because Yes, Sarah invited the ventriloquist AND her dummy and everyone thinks it is so nice and normal and NOT AT ALL CREEPY to have a dummy read The Night Before Christmas with an evil grin and a little axe in his hand. Obviously Evan runs at the first chance.

Then Scotty brings in the figgy pudding and the nurse is all, "That's figgy pudding?" with a look on her face that clearly says: I will never eat that ever. Justin shakes his head in horror at the manners on that girl, but whatever, a guy's got to get laid. Sarah thanks the ventriloquist for joining them and the ventriloquist thanks her for not firing her after all. Sarah smiles that it was no big deal, she just shifted the schedule around. And they have an agreement, right? The dummy won't crawl into her room late at night and slaughter her with his little cold wooden hands? She wouldn't back out on a deal would she? Would she? Ancient Louise just eats her figgy pudding and cradles Abner as he cackles maniacally.

Saul has joined the party, but isn't feeling so much celebratory as in the need for a hug. Kevin obliges and doesn't once mention the hot date with the attractive older man. Kitty and The Barista sit next to each other on the hearth and Kitty asks him about his family. He demurs, but she insists on full disclosure. He gives it to her: The dean is his mom! Kitty flips. Before she can have a full on meltdown and kick Seth to the curb, Saul dings on his glass and reminds everyone that they are Jewish and this is all just a wee a bit silly. He says a Hebrew prayer and a cover of a Joni Mitchell song starts playing as we get a close up of an empty building in Santa's Village. Er? Is that an omen? A metaphor for something? I can't handle a metaphor! Take it back! TAKE IT BACK!!!!!

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Brothers and Sisters

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