Nora has moved from grief to anger with a smidgen of denial in handling Brody's rejection. Justin cracks under the (very little) pressure and tells Nora that Brody fled because he lied about his blood type and he might be Sarah's father. Only thing to do? Stealth DNA test. Awkwardness ensues. Eventually, Justin manages to get both Sarah's DNA and Brody's and …holy frijole, it's a match. Sarah is no longer a Walker. Only Nora and Justin know the truth and they have no idea what to do with it.
Sarah and Luc's wedding is coming up, and Sarah wants to distract Nora from her misery with a wedding task. Also, she's not signing a pre-nup. Saul, however, really wants her to and goes behind her back to talk to Luc. Luc wants nothing to do with it, though. Then Luc tries to plan a song for the wedding, but Sarah misunderstands something and spoils the surprise …oh whatever, the storyline is too boring for anyone to pay it the slightest attention. Also, Sarah wants to take Nora on a ladies cruise to help her get over Brody.
Kevin and Scotty are hot in pursuit of Michelle, but unfortunately the police view it as a custody issue. So they hire a private investigator who confirms that Michelle gave birth to a little boy a few months after she told them she had a miscarriage. Kevin has his determined face on, but Scotty looks doubtful. He sort of feels bad for Michelle. So when she texts him saying she wants to talk, he doesn't tell Kevin. Scotty thinks he can convince Michelle to give up the baby through kindness, and it may have worked, but when Kevin intercepts a phone call, he doesn't opt for kindness. When Michelle hangs up, Scotty and Kevin have a screaming fight that sends Kevin running to Justin's house to talk. Justin has been holding everyone's secrets, but with both Nora and Justin in his house needing him to help them cope, he bails. He tells them each other's secret: Brody is Sarah's dad and Michelle kidnapped Kevin's baby. Then he leaves to go help Scotty cover for Kevin with Olivia (who has been away at a very convenient camping trip). Nora and Kevin talk and then the family is reunited.
Sarah takes the news quite well, comparing herself to gravy made with flour instead of corn starch. She knows William is her father and the Walkers are her family. She knows Brody lied the day she was born, and she sees that as a rejection of her and Nora and she never wants to see him again ever. This gives Nora the sads, because she loves Brody and wants to rekindle the romance.
Kevin and Scotty are tucking Olivia into bed when Justin calls. He is downstairs and needs them to unlock the door. Kevin comes down and finds Justin clutching a baby boy. Justin explains that Michelle came over, handed him the baby, and fled. Scotty comes down to see what's going on, the baby starts crying because all these strange men are staring at him, and then Olivia comes in. She asks a simple question that reduces the men to stammering idiots. She asks, "Whose baby is that?"
Also, Kitty who?
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Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates can't believe they actually de-Walkered someone. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
Sarah is strutting around her dining room in a pair of Louboutins. While you would think she has been reading articles in older women's lifestyle magazines about keeping the spark alive, it turns out she is just breaking them in for the wedding. Only two weeks to go! Too bad their wedding is so totally going to be overshadowed by the royal nuptials. I mean, they really should have re-scheduled. If you can't compete, go home. That's what I always say! I spend a lot of time at home, BTW.
So Luc comes down to find his bride to be wearing her jammies and her Louboutins, but it's not exactly sexy since instead of wearing Saran Wrap, a bottle of champagne, and a smile, she's wearing a cardigan and yoga pants and muttering to herself about seating arrangements for her big day. Luc rubs his eyes a few times and asks specifically why she is up at five in the morning clomping around in some lovely shoes instead of sleeping? Sarah then lets loose on a tear about Brody and what a jerk he is for ditching Nora after such a seemingly lovely and endearing reunion. Then Sarah, who appears to have hit her Nespresso machine like it owes her money starts talking about Lisa in accounting and how she got over her big break up by going on a spiritually rejuvenating cruise and maybe she should take Nora on a cruise to rejuvenate her spirit? Luc yawns and points out that they are getting married in two weeks, so the timing might be a little off on that particular vision quest. Ah, crap, I should never have written the phrase "vision quest" because now I will have Madonna's "Crazy For You" running through my head for the next ten days. Don't know why? Google it! Or don't, I don't care, it's a terrible fate that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Ugh! Now I'm thinking about Matthew Modine.
Anyway, Sarah now starts ranting about Kevin and how he said he would plan their wedding and instead just put together a three-ring binder filled with his visions of sugar plums and live doves and then disappeared, leaving her with a million phone calls to make and a seating chart to arrange and shoes to break in. Bet Kate and Wills didn't have these problems! (Although I secretly think that Kate probably yelled, "Off with his head!" to the caterer a few times, just 'cause she could.) At this point, Luc wants to go back to bed, but instead he asks if he can help. Sarah says no, because he has his own work to do and she points to the tab in the three-ring binder that says "LUC." Luc very patiently suggests that maybe Justin can help revive Nora's spirits? Especially since this was all Justin's fault in the first place, not that Luc is aware of that particular factoid. No, no, Kitty is still "in Boston," which obviously is a euphemism for Kitty being SO OVER this show. I mean, how many times can they tour Faneuil Hall? And why isn't Evan already enrolled in an elite educational program for three-year olds? Doesn't Kitty want him to go to a good college? Does she remember she has a son? Luc then suggests that Sarah have Nora help her with the wedding, which is such an obvious solution that you have to wonder why on earth it took this entire conversation to get to that point, and then you remember that Luc hasn't had coffee yet. Sarah is totally sold on the idea and then Luc tells her to stay out of the house at lunchtime because he has a surprise for her. Color her intrigued.
Justin finds himself, once again, perched in the rather uncomfortable looking kitchen stools in Walker Manor watching Nora as she irons his (her?) flannel shirts. Nora claims that she has moved past all the cry and has gone straight to the pissed off. She has decided to drive up to Fresno and confront Brody about his behavior and his cruel abandonment of her. She wants him to look her in the eye and tell her why why why. While this sounds pretty reasonable, it doesn't work for Justin. He's like, whoa there mom, you can't just go talk to a guy! I mean, he might tell you the truth or something! That would be too quick of a resolution for this show. We must go about things completely backwards and drag them out for eternity.
So he tries to talk her out of it, but Nora is pretty convinced that actually talking to Brody is a good idea. She knows he loved her. She knows it! His face would light up when she came in the room and his heart would beat more quickly when she was around. She knows that he loves her... and if he doesn't, well then, she's crazy and she will just accept that. Justin sighs and shakes his head and admits that she is, in fact, and just on this one issue, not crazy. Brody loves her. Nora looks really happy to hear that and her face lights up as she asks Justin how he knows that. Justin completely glosses over his involvement in the debacle and tersely explains that Brody lied about his blood type and he was ashamed and fled the scene. Nora freaks. I mean, obviously. How could she not freak out knowing that Brody could well be Sarah's father? Knowing that she may have married the wrong man? That her whole life was based on a lie? So she's still going to go talk to Brody, right? She's going to tell him that she knows and they can go get a DNA test and put the issue to rest, right? Right? Sigh... No. Of course not. Instead, Nora is going to sneak into Sarah's house and steal a DNA sample and then she will take it and a sample from Brody's baseball cap that he left and is apparently littered in DNA and take it to the closest lab and test the heck out of them. Clearly this is a more rational plan. Justin likes it because now Nora may never know that this whole thing was kinda his fault. I mean, yes, Brody lied 40-plus years ago, but everyone was fine with it until Justin had to get all fake doctor on Brody for, you know, sweating in public. Whatever, let the wacky hijinks ensue!
Good old Uncle Saul swings by Sarah's office in the middle of the day. He hands her a blue handkerchief and while Sarah looks at it a little perplexed, he explains that right after William died, Nora found an old dry cleaning receipt and it was a stack of handkerchiefs. Wait, wait, Nora didn't hand wash and press William's handkerchiefs? I call bullshit. Saul continues on his tale of lies: Nora gave the kerchiefs to Saul because it's an old man thing and he thought it would be the perfect thing for Sarah to carry down the aisle as her something blue. Sarah tears up and thanks him for the thought. Here's another thought just because I have nothing better to do than sit around and think about plot holes: Why didn't he give this extra special handkerchief to Kitty when she married The Senator (R.I.P.) or Kevin when he married Scotty? There is only one reason that I can think of: Sarah is so totally getting de-Walkered. This is just so exciting!
Sarah wipes away her tears and then Saul ruins the mood by mentioning that maybe Sarah and Luc should sign a pre-nuptial agreement. Sarah tells Saul to skedaddle because she is not going to sign a pre-nup. She got taken to the cleaners with Joe, but she learned her lesson: Don't marry a greasy haired guitarist who likes to re-enact scenes from Little Children. Luc is the right guy and she's not even going to mention a pre-nuptial agreement.
Scotty and Kevin are getting some hard news from a private investigator? Lawyer? I don't know who she is on this show, but I do know that she was on The Wire and is thus eternally awesome. What's with all The Wire alums slumming it on Brothers and Sisters? I mean first there was Kima Greggs being Evan's birth mother and now here's Asst. State's Attorney Rhonda Pearlman telling Kevin and Scotty that the police are viewing the baby theft as a custody dispute, despite the fact that Michelle is in no way related to the baby. Scotty looks increasingly uncomfortable as Kevin dials up his anger to 11. Kevin is ranting about finding a statute with which to charge Michelle and knowing people in the D.A.'s office and doing whatever it takes whatever the cost to find their child. The woman nods and pulls out a copy of the birth certificate. She says Miche