Nora comes home just then and Sarah quickly hides her passport and hugs Nora while Justin flashes the DNA samples and Nora pretends she's happy to see Sarah. Nora tells Sarah that she is so totally over Brody and their whole relationship is practically forgotten. Sarah tells her not to bottle up her feelings, but to let them out and let them air. She lets loose with an anti-Brody tirade that makes both Justin and Nora uncomfortable, because no one should talk about their father like that. I mean, Luke Skywalker didn't even say such crass things about Darth Vader! Oops, did I just out myself as a geek there? Move along folks, nothing to see here.
Then Nora changes the subject to Kevin and whether anyone has talked to him lately and then she suggests that Sarah go talk to Kevin right now. Justin can't let that happen, so he blurts something about Luc and Saul saying that Kevin was a-okay. That makes Sarah suspicious, because what would Luc and Saul be talking to Kevin about? Did Saul bring Kevin in to strong arm Luc into signing a pre-nup? Then things get all stupid wacky and Sarah asks for paprika and then leaves before she gets it, but Nora and Justin are relieved because they can get their DNA samples to the lab. Justin somehow managed to get about half the hair on Sarah's head into a Ziploc bag without her noticing, which is pretty impressive espionage and/or magic. Justin snarks that he will have the DNA lab put the test on their tab, which Nora does not find at all funny, but I do! I also think that when writers have to make self-referential jokes about how often this story line comes up, it's a sign that just maybe the writers should work on getting some new storylines going.
Scotty goes to meet Michelle. She doesn't have the baby with her, but left him... somewhere. In a shoebox? In the car? With a trusted stranger she met at the bus station? Who knows, but little baby Daniel is not there, because she needs to know that Scotty won't take him away from her. She's his mother and he has to be in her life. Also, she is so sorry. She just couldn't bring the baby until she knew that she could trust Scotty. Scotty points out that it is pretty freaking hilarious that Miss Baby Stealer would lecture him about trust. She looks a little abashed and Scotty sits down. Michelle has clearly gone to a very dark place and Scotty quickly recognizes that and tries to talk her down. She says she is so tired of having to always look over her shoulder. He claims that they won't call the police, they won't take Daniel away, that she is safe. Pretty sure he is lying, but you never can tell with Scotty.
Saul and Luc have finally found a song they both like -- "Baby I Need Your Loving" -- and they are just wrapping up rehearsal when Sarah comes home. She sweeps in the door like a yelly tornado and accuses Saul of sneaking behind her back to try and convince Luc to sign a pre-nup. She is angry and you wouldn't like her when she is angry! She starts hollering and accusing and screeching about Saul not listening to her and how neither of them wants the damn thing and then she grabs the papers out of Saul's hands and... it's sheet music. Luc explains that he wanted to surprise her with a song at the wedding. Sarah looks slightly humbled, but forgets to apologize to Saul instead dwelling on how cute it is that Luc wanted to surprise her. What is it with her anyway? Every week she's hollering about something making it really hard to remember what it is that Luc sees in her. And for chrissake, apologize to your uncle!
Kevin is pacing around the apartment trying to convince Justin to come hang out with him because he needs some company. Justin apologizes, but he is on a time-sensitive errand for Nora and he can't come over, but if he needs to talk, go for it. Justin has the envelope with the DNA test results in his hand and he is race walking to the car to get them back to Nora. Kevin hangs up because Scotty's phone is ringing and he thinks it might be Olivia calling from her camping trip. It's not Olivia, it's Michelle. Kevin starts off calmly asking Michelle where she is, but Michelle won't tell him, because it's not part of the deal that she and Scotty made. Kevin very politely asks, "What deal?" Michelle explains that she and Scotty want to do what is best for Daniel and that means having Michelle in his life because she is his mother. Kevin loses it at that point and angrily reminds her that she is actually just the gestational surrogate and is in no way Daniel's mother neither biologically or in any other way. Then he starts really yelling at her just as Scotty comes in and realizes what is going on. Scotty lunges for the phone, but it's too late and Michelle is gone. Then they turn on each other. Kevin is in tears and is so upset that Scotty didn't tell him that he spoke with Michelle. Scotty is horrified that all his hard work is for naught and Michelle has disappeared with Daniel and he screams at Kevin that he didn't tell him because he knew he would screw it up. Just like he did! The baby is probably gone forever now. Kevin agrees and he hopes that Scotty can live with that. Then he storms out.
Elsewhere, Nora is anxiously staring at the white envelope in her hand. She looks like a high school senior waiting to hear from Vassar. Justin asks if Nora is sure that she really wants to know the truth, and Nora is sure. She opens the envelope, reads the results, and collapses on the couch with an OMG. It's a match. Sarah is officially the spawn of Brody. Justin and Nora stare at each other in shock. How are they going to tell Sarah? Nora doesn't think that now is the right time. She wants to wait until after the wedding at least. Justin, however, is done. He is not lying to Sarah's face about this. Uh, when she asks you, is Brody my dad? She thinks the matter is settled! She's not going to ask you, numbnuts. Nora wants Justin on her side for this because she needs him to help her rationalize not telling Sarah. Good luck with that, Nora! Justin lasted about two minutes not telling YOU that Brody lied. Justin then tells Nora that she and Sarah are going to be locked on a boat together for three days starting tomorrow, so she better figure out a plan of attack ASAP. Also, surprise! Nora is horrified at the thought, although, frankly, a spirit-rejuvenating cruise is as good a place as any to tell your daughter that her dad is a schlubby minor minor league baseball coach.
Justin and Nora's argument is interrupted by the arrival of Kevin, who looks like shit. He walks in holding his breath because he knows something is up. He looks really suspicious and Nora looks at him and then at Justin. That's it for Justin. He tells them both that he never said anything about either of their secrets, but if they don't start talking right this second he's done. They stare at him instead of blabbing, so he goes for it: Kevin, Nora did a DNA test on Sarah and Brody is her father, but Nora won't tell her. Nora, Michelle didn't have a miscarriage, she stole the baby and there's a little grandson somewhere out there. Oh crap, now I have THAT song stuck in my head. Nora and Kevin stare at each other trying to process which news is worse. Guess what? It's all bad! Welcome to life on a primetime soap opera!
Later, Nora and Kevin have talked and are at the point where they really wish they had a drink, but since they are at Justin's Clean and Sober Cabin, they have nothing stronger than tea. Nora tells Kevin not to give up hope that they will find his son, and if he can't hope, then she will just hope for him. Kevin wearily smiles and reminds Nora of the one bright spot in the day: Brody really does love her. Nora returns his half smile with one of her own, but she can't take any pleasure in that right now. Nora's not even sure that she is going to tell Brody the truth about Sarah. Kevin points out that he has spent the last three nights awake distraught over the fact that his son will never know who his father is. Maybe Brody feels the same way? Nora flinches, but gets it.
Justin has fled his house for Scotty's, because I guess when you have no friends and can't go to a bar to drink your cares away, your options are limited. Or, you know, he wants to be there for Scotty. They drink tea and Justin tries to tell him comforting things about Kevin. Scotty is worried about Kevin's blood pressure and Justin assures him that Kevin wasn't yelling, but just looked really sad, like Scotty does now. Then Justin tells Scotty that he got rid of everything he was worrying about, so he is completely ready to listen if Scotty needs a friend. Scotty smiles and sadly says that this is the second time they've lost that baby. They can't give up. Further sharing is cut short by the arrival of Olivia. She sits on Scotty's lap and tells him about her camping trip.
Nora is drinking tea and looking troubled when Sarah arrives with a flower for Nora's hair and a big surprise: A cruise! Nora stops her -- she's not going on a cruise. Justin told her about it and she thought about it and her answer is no. She pretends half-heartedly that she's not going because Sarah is getting married in two weeks and those seating charts won't make themselves! But Nora's not in and when Sarah is done cursing Justin for ruining the surprise, she notices that something is going on with Nora. Nora realizes there is no escaping it and asks Sarah to sit down so they can talk. The camera pulls back as the music swells and we see Sarah gasp in horror.
Later that night, Sarah and Nora have been joined by Luc, Saul, and Kevin. Sarah is in good spirits and laughs as she thanks god for a family that responds to a paternity crisis and a kidnapping with food and wine. Also, yelling and secrets and wacky hijinks, but who's counting? Kevin comes in from a pho