Kitty and The Senator are making amends in their relationship. In bed. With Scrabble. While they are on firmer footing in their marriage, The Senator's campaign has hit a rough patch. When Kitty starts her chemotherapy, The Senator gets grilled by the press for his decision to stay in the gubernatorial race. Appears the public isn't too keen on their potential governor's continuing to campaign instead of holding his wife's hand through cancer treatment. Kevin and The Senator come to words when Kevin insists on calling Kitty's cancer "her issue" and The Senator doesn't want to hear that he is killing his campaign. Kitty takes the matter into her own hands and she wins. Because she has cancer.
Justin discovers that oncology is his life's dream. He tries to talk his way onto a cancer research team, but pisses off his lab partner with his extra-anatomy activities. But Professor Henry won't let either of them out of their anatomical bondage. He wants Justin to play Vinnie to Doogie. Justin makes a few lewd hand gestures to prove he gets it.
Holly and Rebecca are going to look at wedding venues, and Holly invites Nora to join them. Holly pretends she isn't just being nice to Nora because Kitty has cancer, but when she claims she can't wait for them to be in-laws, Nora knows she is lying. Holly quickly regrets her decision when Nora actually shows up. But hostilities are forgotten when some porn gets thrown in the mix. But being Nora and Holly, they are quickly reignited when Rebecca dares to agree with Nora twice, the traitor. Rebecca pouts for a while, but realizes her Fantasy Island wedding can be her reality and we are supposed to care. I think.
Kitty breaks Nora's heart by tossing her aside as her "chemo buddy" and picking Sarah. But you can't really fault her, as Sarah has much juicier gossip: She met a guy in France and Nora didn't. Sarah's dirty-girl escapades in France are sordid enough to get Kitty through chemo. Even if we are led to believe her adventures aren't exactly true. But when a tall dark French artiste shows up on her door it all gets a little meta. Nora and Kitty make up in a tearful hug fest where Nora expresses her desire to pluck the cancer out of Kitty like a baboon with lice and Kitty thinks that just sounds sweet.
And I don't know about your local broadcast, but mine had not one or two ads for cancer treatment facilities, but five. So the next time I have a tumor pressing up against my frontal lobe and I am given six months to live, in the great Choose-Your-Own-Adventure of Depressing Endings, I now know my options. TMYK=Awesome.
At the not-particularly luxurious sounding Ojai Gardens Hotel, a shirtless Rob Lowe has stopped traffic. Or at least he has stopped this recap for a moment. Oh don't pretend you are immune to his charms. The scar from The Senator's heart attack only slightly sullies the overall impression. And I know some of you are into that scar thing anyway. Seriously, do not Google scar porn because you will never find anything good in all those 428,000 hits that show up with even the most cursory search. But, back to Rob Lowe: No old-man boobs in sight! Ruining the mood is Kitty and Scrabble. I hate Scrabble. Actually I loathe it. Okay that's not entirely true. If allowed to play just for, you know, enjoyment (which in my opinion is the entire point of playing a board game) the game can be fun. However, that game has a cultish following of word nerds who have memorized all the rules down to the smallest printed bylaw and re-issued codicil and take great pleasure in shouting them out at you even when you have already agreed just to play for fun. Like who cares if you use a proper noun? Not me! But Scrabbleheads do and they will be sure you do too. Thus I have developed a serious hatred for the game and the fact that The Senator is quitting the godforsaken game because Kitty is smoking him by turning his "dog" into "doggerel" and landing on a double word score just makes me love him all the more. The Senator tries to distract Kitty from the game with his puppy dog eyes and smooth jazz (I mean, really? Smooth jazz? That makes me love you less.) But like the word junky that she is, Kitty ignores his protestations of love and demands to see his letters. She bluntly spells out "TUMOR" on the board and The Senator looks aggrieved. Kitty shakes her head in annoyance and she assures him that he has not forgotten that she has cancer. She is heading for a refill on the wine, when The Senator tells her that he re-scheduled his press conference in case her chemo takes longer than expected. Kitty bluntly tells him that he is not her "chemo buddy". He just accepts it, too. God forbid I was in this fictional situation, my husband would completely ignore me if I told him he was not my chemo buddy. He would just show up with a big "Whatever" on his face and you can't argue with that look. She reminds him that he is running for governor of the fair state of California and the last thing she wants is him quitting the race on her account. The Senator and I say in unison, "What happened to you?" Kitty was all ready to divorce him when he decided to run and now she wants him to run and nevermind her and her little cancer? She is determined though, and being the newly-dutiful husband, he promises not to stop his campaign. He begs her to let him quit the infernal Scrabble game, though, and she finally succumbs to his advances and shoves the game aside. Her glass of wine, however, is still firmly in her grasp. She is a Walker after all.
Justin wanders the halls of his * ahem * medical school until he finds a doctor doing cutting edge cancer research. He is doing so well in his studies that adding a research assistant position can only help. Besides he might be able to Save Kitty! Or at least future Kitties. The doctor in charge of the study is not particularly sympathetic to Justin's plight since her research positions were filled months ago and she doesn't know him from any other struggling frosh. I guess she didn't get "the call" from the Regents. Justin offers to work for free and, you know, just empty the trash (for the cure!) or sweep the floor (for the cure!) and the professor softens at the Walker charm and agrees to think about it. As I mentioned on Twitter earlier, (follow @woolyknickers for really brilliant insights into traffic patterns and punctuation errors) I saw a Pink for the Cure garbage truck today. And I obviously support the cause and the desire to do something, but, really? A garbage truck? It just seemed off. Ewwwwwww! Without any warning or parental notification or anything the camera goes directly to the gross anatomy class for which Justin is tardy. And it's not just the class they are showing in close up, but a dissected arm with the skin being flayed from the bone and just wiggling there while Doogie pulls back the skin from the hand. When I was in gross anatomy, the hands were the most disturbing part of the body to dissect partially because you were, like, holding hands with a cadaver while cutting into it. You can dehumanize organs pretty easily because you don't see them very often outside of medical dramas, but hands? You see hands everyday. You shake hands many days and there is just something very unsettling about slicing into one. Anyway. Doogie is ticked off at Justin for being late and leaving him to slice and dice on his own. Justin apologizes and tries to explain his tardiness by saying he was applying for an internship. A trash emptying, floor sweeping internship. This pisses off Doogie even more, because he thinks Justin is overwhelmed with his current course load and doesn't need more work. And, Justin? I agree with Doogie. Their arguing catches the attention of the professor and they glare at each other in silence.