The McCallister campaign is all a-flutter when they get word that Mrs. McCallister is planning to go on Larry King and re-ignite the whole "my husband slept with the nanny" imbroglio again. Robert tries to reason with her, but it's ultimately Kitty, who lies about having tracked down said nanny and gotten her to tell the truth, who's successful. Mrs. Mac does leave Kitty with a warning that while she may think she and Robert are partners, Robert actually does it all alone.
Scotty comes to Kevin with a homophobia-motivated DUI arrest that Kevin manages to get him out of before the halfway mark. Scotty thanks him by cooking him dinner at the fancy restaurant where he now sous-chefs. Scotty tries to kiss Kevin, as you do, but Kevin manages to do the right thing and beg off due to his relationship. Of course, he doubles back and tells Scotty he wants to try being friends, so we'll see how that goes.
Julia's parents come to town because their daughter is clearly falling apart. Her dad is obnoxious, and Tommy hates him, and he finally accuses Tommy of not doing enough to take care of his family. He says he's taking Julia and Lizzy with him, and to Tommy's unhappy surprise, Julia agrees. She's angry at Tommy for the decision they made regarding young William, and she needs to sort things out on her own, leaving Tommy free to make late night phone calls to a sweetly sympathetic Lena.
Finally, Justin is still in terrible pain and still stubbornly refusing to do anything about it. Nora tries to recruit a somewhat reluctant Rebecca to help convince him, but that only leads to Rebecca taking Justin out to eat, and he ends up hurting his leg even more. Nora's furious, but she shouldn't be too mad, because Justin eventually caves and takes the damn pills already. By episode's end, Nora's able to survey what she's accomplished, as Justin is pain-free but stoned. Hey, that's the Justin I remember!
Previously: Justin came home from Iraq with crippling leg pain, but he was too afraid of a little drug addiction to take painkillers for it; Robert's wife cheated on him, then told the press that he was cheating on her, the first of many times that Robert's perceived flaws ended up being further evidence for sainthood; Julia's post-partum depression was exhibited by Tommy being exasperated with her moodiness; and Kevin and Scotty broke up for oh, so many reasons.
We open on moaning and heavy breathing in the bathroom, yet despite my tendency to recap sexy opening scenes on this show, this time it's poor Justin trying to take a bath and having a bitch of a time with his godforsaken and undermedicated leg. Kevin's helping, such as he can, but it's mostly Justin writhing in misery and not appreciating Kevin's help at all. He bitches about the bubble bath, the scented candles, the mood music -- and look, nobody likes mood music, but I posit that you are never too good for a bubble bath, especially one that's already been prepared for you. Also, it's nice that the sibling banter is sharp and often caustic on this show, but Justin's complaining here -- whining about diminishing testosterone levels, et cetera -- has an odd fag-bashy undertone, and I'm already kind of sick of Justin's unmedicated asshole routine as it is. This ain't helping. So he chases Kevin away, only to have Rebecca walk in and be freaked out by the sight of her naked brother (still hating on the bubble bath idea, jerk-face?). Kevin returns, Justin having demanded music from his own room (he's totally a Dave Matthews/Jack Johnson guy, I bet); Kevin gets the last laugh, though, when he hits play on Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" and goes skittering out the door. Bet you wish you had the goddamn drugs now, huh?
Downstairs, Kevin tells Nora that Justin "would be a model patient if he weren't so ornery." And Kevin would be a great ladies man if he weren't into dudes, like what? Where was the "model patient" part? They get to talking about how Justin's not taking anything stronger than ibuprofen for his leg, Nora saying that the doctors have point-blank told him that it's interfering with his recovery, but he won't budge, because like his boyfriend Robert McCallister, he's apparently up for sainthood too. Sarah enters, dealing with an upset Paige on the phone. Somebody's not too happy about weekends with Daddy. And if Daddy's in the throes of the midlife crisis he seems to be, I feel Paige here. More talk about Justin, wherein we're reminded that Justin doesn't want to get addicted again, and that Nora's been trying every way she can to hook her boy on the junk again. She's such a cool mom!