Kitty exists! Nora and Sarah remember this fact suddenly, so they fly to D.C. and break into her new house. What, is that weird? Obviously, she's a spy. Also, Evan is four?! And invisible. Maybe he is the spy? Oh, except that Kitty is not in the CIA at all. She is having a bone marrow complication from her transplant and is seeing a specialist. But Kitty's problems are deeper than that. When Evan's birthday party falls through due to poor planning, Kitty freaks out and they have to have a big talk about death and dying and estate planning. Then they all go home.
Olivia is finally part of Kevin and Scotty's family and her two dads are busy trying to figure out which one is Paul Reiser and which is Greg Evigan. Scotty is obviously the more artsy one, so he's Evigan. But Kevin has no sense of humor, so he can't be Reiser. When Olivia builds a safety fort in the living room, they have to come together as a team to enforce the housing code. They get creative, and the fort goes down.
Luc and Paige are on their own, and he is so rudely acting like a dad. He won't even give her $50 without a whole bunch of questions. So Paige goes to her mom, which undermines Luc's authority. Kevin eggs him on so he calls Sarah, but it turns out Paige's issue is in regard to underwear, so Luc drops the phone and walks away going "eeeeesh." But then tragedy strikes and Paige gets stood up for a dance and only Luc can save her. He gets in touch with his inner Dr. Phil and gives her some straight talk, and then they go and egg the boy's house. Parenting win!
Justin got his new roommate, Zach, a job at Scotty's restaurant. Also, after three years out of Afghanistan, only when Zach moves in does someone realize that Justin has post-traumatic stress disorder. But Justin swears it's just a nightmare he's been having since he was a kid and Zach's appearance in his life triggered it. So Zach moves out. But something is still bothering Justin.
Then there's a Walker party and no one gets drunk or yells. Wha?
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Lulu Bates a.k.a. Melissa Locker had a Greg Evigan poster on her wall. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
Over at the least creatively named restaurant in town (seriously, I hope it is mentioned in, like, every Zagat review ever that restaurants named after their addresses are LAME. I mean, how can your food be creative if your name is just a repetition of a municipality-issued address?) Justin has brought his new best friend/roommate/life partner Zack to work. Seems Scotty hired him to do some light prep around the kitchen because it's his little way of giving back to the soldiers who sacrificed their lives and/or mental health for their country. It's for AMERICA. Also, those salad greens won't wash themselves. Zack is extremely excited to be working again and living with an Actual Walker (what, wouldn't you be? Hahahahaha) and he runs off to the prep area leaving Scotty and Justin to talk about him behind his back. Scotty has been reading a lot of pop psychology books in preparation for parenthood, so he has a well-developed theory that Zack was homeless because after the regimented life as a Marine he needed structure and, possibly, tummy time. Justin looks stunned by Scotty's insight into Zack's mind. Then he remembers that he is not just there to play chauffeur to Zack, but to perform his avuncular heterosexual male duty to hang some shelves in Olivia's room before Kevin can hurt himself trying to appear handy.
Luc is preparing lunch when a bloodcurdling scream stops him mid-grilled cheese flip. He rushes to Paige's side, armed with a spatula and a grim determination. But as a foreigner, Luc doesn't speak American tween and he mistook Paige's shriek for one of terror while it was really one of glee. I mean, duh. Don't you have to know that in order to get your Green Card? Anyway, Paige got invited to a dance! By a boy! Luc doesn't know him, but Paige swears he is hot. The dance is tomorrow and she's borrowing a dress. Also, she needs $50, stat. As a parent-in-training Luc recognizes the red flag raised by demands for large sums of cash. Is it for drugs? A Jonas Brothers tattoo? When Paige won't give him a clear explanation as to why she needs the money, he says no. Paige stomps away. Now she'll never be able to buy those Justin Bieber earrings that match her dress.
Scotty and Kevin are officially adopting Olivia and we get to watch! It's like one of those really touching reality television shows that warms the cockles of your heart and makes you feel good about life, except, of course, that's it totally fictional. The adoption counselor lady makes them sign a bunch of papers and then it's done! She pronounces them a family. But it's not official until Olivia records their answering machine message. Yes, answering machine. It's cute, but are they calling from the past? Also, Olivia knows how to read. A few weeks with a tutor was all it took for her to be able to read the legal document that formalizes the adoption. Jesus, who was that tutor, LeVar Burton? Reading is Fundamental!