It’s Kevin’s birthday, but he is too busy taking out all his I-Paralyzed-A-Guy guilt on physical fitness to celebrate. He does take a break from the gym to lunch with Tommy and Justin, who is wearing a doctor’s coat JUST TO ANNOY ME. Tommy may still be unnecessarily loitering around Ojai, but now he has a plan: He wants to confront Dennis York. Justin and Kevin get onboard with that plan. They tell York that he has lost his leverage and try to make him a deal: They cut him in on the profits from Narrow Lake if he tells them what the hell Narrow Lake is. But Dennis doesn’t bite. He’s betting on Ojai failing and him winning, Goldman-style. He takes the deal off the table and waits to pick up the pieces.
Nora is determined to make Kevin a birthday dinner whether or not he wants one and whether or not anyone else is planning on showing up. She’s pretty sure that if she makes wild rice-stuffed squab, Kevin will have no choice but to come to the party. Even though everyone keeps telling her there is no way in hell Kevin will show up. Nora’s overwhelming positivity somehow lures Scotty in, like one of those smell hands from the Merry Melody cartoons. And once Nora lets them drink, Sarah and Kitty are in, too, because, hey, booze! Eventually everyone shows up to try and woo Kevin, but he’s still not coming. Then, after everyone goes home, Kevin is so shaken by his meeting with York that he has to go see his mom. Nora asks Kevin what he needs from her to get through the guilt and regret, and he makes her promise to talk. Because that’s what he needs: To talk.
Sarah has the kids and Luc this week, and since the clock is ticking on their relationship and she wasted all of last week fence-sitting about whether or not to sell her Ojai stock, they have to make out, like, A LOT. The only crimp in the Great Make Out Plans is that she can’t stand watching Luc pack up all of the worldly possessions. So she goes to work and to Nora’s and pretty much anywhere else that doesn’t involve Luc packing parkas. Luc shows up and uses his magical French powers to reassure Sarah that he will return. And she can have his parkas. Then they make out some more.
Ojai is in dire straits. The bank is calling in their loan and is about to seize the land and business. Holly won’t use Rebecca’s $2 million to save the company even though it's their only choice, and their only shot at finding the treasure buried at the bottom of Narrow Lake, and everyone (including Rebecca) wants her to take the damn money. So Rebecca takes the matter into her own hands and starts paying down Ojai’s debt. Holly is displeased, but her wrath is briefly averted by a geological survey of the Narrow Lake property. But when Tommy declares the Dennis York deal dead, Holly freaks out. Rebecca assures her that she won’t stop loving her if she loses all her money. She is not twelve, after all.
The Senator tells Kitty that he is interviewing for a job that would require him to move to D.C., but with Kitty set to win her Senate race and having to move to D.C. anyway, why not? Much to my surprise, Kitty does not actually freak out or start immediately making out with her Playground Pal. In fact, Kitty goes and tells Nora that they might be moving to Washington, D.C., like a real grown-up. Nora has been slowly upping her Thorazine level and doesn’t even react to the news. The Senator asks Kitty to meet him at the office. He didn’t get the job because he failed the physical exam. He doesn’t seem too upset, though.
Now that Kevin and Nora are talking again, the dinner party is back on. And for once, it devolves in happiness and joy because Kevin and Scotty finally get some good news: Michelle is pregnant! Now the bad news: They have to hang out with a pregnant Michelle for the next nine months.
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Kevin kisses Scotty awake and then demands a birthday kiss. Before Scotty can make Kevin a birthday brunch, Kevin is off and running. Literally. He is jogging his blues away. Under the circumstances that almost adds insult to injury. Literally. Like maybe Kevin should go volunteer at the Paralympics or bring Aaron unwanted soup everyday for a week. But, jogging? That's practically rude. Scotty asks if Kevin is okay what with everything that happened last week. Kevin holds back from snarling, but barely and manages to growl that he doesn't want to adjudicate it again. Besides, whenever he feels like he has been through a lot, he remembers Aaron and then feels guilty and then goes jogging and then feels guilty. Vicious circle! Scotty hops out of bed to help Kevin with his carbo-loading and Kevin asks if they can call Michelle yet. They are anxiously awaiting the blood test results to find out whether or not she is pregnant. And before you ask, they answer: Peeing on a stick is not an option, so shut it, snarkers. I like to feel that line was directed at me. Kevin's phone rings and he ignores Nora's call. He wants her to leave him alone and that means definitely not going to a birthday party at her house. Scotty backs away nervously as Kevin obviously has some serious anger that he will undoubtedly be working out all episode. Both literally and emotionally.
Sarah sends the kids off to school and after so long it's nice to see that they haven't gone down in a blaze of glory or gone up in an industrial accident. I mean, will you look at Paige? She has grown a foot since we saw her last. Now don't get me wrong, I do not miss watching a surly tween Paige sassing her mother and Cooper...well Cooper doesn't do much of anything now does he? But, the kids have been MIA for a long time, even missing Justin and Rebecca's wedding banquet and I was starting to think that Joe had used the fact that Sarah was now living with a strange younger Frenchman (an artist even!) to get full custody of the kids. So she gets them off into Mrs. Fowler's carpool and then she and Luc give Mrs. Fowler something to talk about by pressing certain body parts against the glass before the kids are even seatbelted in. But Sarah won't let herself get swept away (just a light rumpling for now) because Holly and Saul have called a meeting, probably about Narrow Lake. As she grabs her keys to head off to the corporate world, she notices a stack of boxes. Luc explains that he is packing and this sends Sarah into a spiral of doubt and distress because Luc is leaving in two weeks! And she has to go to a meeting! Luc smiles reassuringly that his visa will be renewed. Again. And this time maybe no super conservative political action committees are paying attention and won't start playing politics with his immigration status. Fingers crossed! Sarah's phone rings and she, too, ignores Nora's phone call. She smiles at Luc and promises that like Jenna Elfman, she will keep the faith.
Sadly, Nora totally knows her children are ignoring her phone calls. Tommy pretends that maybe it's not true, but obviously it is. Nora is running around the kitchen making lists and thinking up recipes and Tommy tries to nicely point out that maybe she should hold off on cooking until Kevin actually agrees to come to his own birthday party. But Nora won't hear it. She is making squab and she is stuffing it and goddamn it everyone is coming, including Kevin. Since when does a stuffed squab make a good bribe? Pretty sure chocolate and wine are much more effective. Tommy invites her to the Narrow Lake meeting, but Nora has to cook cook cook, which looks just like this.
At Ojai, Tommy, who does not work at the company and in fact was forced to leave Ojai under a cloud of shame and criminal charges, sits in the conference room like it's totally natural for him to be there. He shoots the breeze with Sarah and Rebecca, the latter of whom admits that she and Justin have been dodging Nora's calls, too. They try to decide who will be breaking the news to Nora that Kevin is not coming and she will be eating stuffed squab at an empty dining room for weeks to come, like if Miss Haversham were a foodie, or how I assume Ruth Reichl lives everyday. Just as Sarah and Tommy are pinning Rebecca's arm behind her back and giving her noogies to try and convince her to call Nora, Saul and Holly interrupt the family fun. This meeting is not about Narrow Lake. They have a brief old timey melodrama to act out! Saul puts on a big moustache and a black cape and Holly puts a pink bow in her hair and a frilly white pinafore. And scene:
Saul: The bank is calling in Ojai's loan! Today! At High Noon!
Holly: You can't call in our loan! We'll be bankrupt! We can't pay the rent! We can't pay the bills! Dennis York will be able to buy the company at pennies on the dollar!
Off Stage: Dennis York laughs: Bwah ha hah ha!
Saul: We have no choice! Times are tough! The money is due today!
Sarah: We will get a bridge loan! We'll be fine!
Holly: I've already tried! Oh woe is me! Whatever will become of me! I'll never be able to afford that Monique Lhuillier wedding gown now! We must sell to Dennis York! We have no choice!
Off Stage: Dennis York laughs: Bwah ha hah ha!
Sarah and Saul and Tommy form a chorus: We can't pay the rent! We can't pay the bills! Oh woe is us!
Rebecca: I'll pay the rent! With the two million dollars I gave you last week!
Sarah: Two million dollars! We're saved!
Saul: With two million dollars your business will be safe!
Holly: Oh no! I can't take my daughter's money! I want her to get a good return on her investment!
Rebecca: I'll PAY THE RENT! I'LL PAY THE BILLS!
Holly: Oh no, my daughter! You shan't! You can't! I won't let you!
Rebecca storms off stage as Tommy and Sarah glare at Holly.