The show opens and… there are three Walker women doing the descent of shame in the elevator. Whoa there Sarah, Nora, and Rebecca, you all look like big old party hoish whoo! girls, covered in confetti and rose petals and god knows what sort of alcoholic dregs and bodily fluids. No one wants to talk about it though, they just want to continue their shame spirals in private. So what was the cause of all this debauchery? Greenatopia's launch party. Yes, yes, last week they may have been struggling to afford the bus fare to the conference, but this week they are blowing Sarah's second mortgage on the biggest bestest party anyone's seen since the heyday of Web 1.0. Of course the mere mention of the magic phrase "open bar" brings all the Walkers running. Nora gets a little overexcited with the appletinis, but Roger the architect is there to help. Fortunately for the anti-mom porn contingent, the cocktails get the better of Nora and she passes out before any architectural funny business can take place. They make up for it later with some chaste kissing.
And who was Sarah canoodling with? Her 12-year old employee formerly known as Glasses Guy. She managed to come to her senses before the sexual harassment seminar even started. But you can't blame her, her emotions got the better of her. She was just so upset about risking her entire business because she doesn't know what Twitter is. I mean would you give millions of dollars to a Web 2.0 company who doesn't know how to Twitter or even of its existence? You wouldn't? Well the investors round these parts would.
And Rebecca? Well, when Justin opts to go help his new hot NA friend and bails on Rebecca at the party, she has a moment with Kyle, Sarah's other employee. Is this the end of Justin and Rebecca? Does anyone like these two together anyway? Besides, Rebecca is focusing on her career right now. She is just so darn good at corporate relations and branding. Just ask her mom! Holly is totally on board with Rebecca's plan to buy direct. Tommy just couldn't be more pleased, either.
Wow Kevin is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see The Senator and his Republican backers? Oh it's a gun alright and Kevin outshoots and outkills every Republican who is tagging along with The Senator and the Fat Cat on their quail hunt, totally proving that Democrats like their Second Amendment as much as the next gun-toting guy. As usual though Kevin can't take the heat of constantly being surrounded by mouthy Republicans and shoots off his mouth, which is arguably better than his gun. Although the Republicans were pretty forgiving when Cheney shot that old guy in the face. In order to save The Senator's gubernatorial bid, Kevin takes the Republicans to dinner and, no, Scotty is not jealous. The Republicans decide to go ahead and back The Senator in his run for governor. Now he just has to break the news to Kitty.
In downtown LA, Sarah is in an elevator sporting her hangover sunglasses, last night's mussed hair, and a very rumpled dress. Her elevator ride of shame pauses long enough to open the doors revealing Nora looking very much the worse for wear with incredibly smudgy eyeliner, holding her heels in one hand, and rubbing her forehead with the other. Sarah is scandalized when she realizes Nora spent the night. WITH THE ARCHITECT. (Has erector set, will travel?) One flight down and the elevator door opens again, this time revealing a disheveled Rebecca with rose petals in her hair and a look of horror on her face. Not exactly the time you want to run into the Walkers, you know? Nora snorts, "Justin still asleep?" Rebecca, who was apparently a girl scout, honestly answers, "I don't know where Justin is." Um, Rebecca? Although honesty is a great policy and all, if there ever was a time to lie, it would be now. Don't insinuate to your boyfriend's family that you cheated on him. Especially when that family is the Walkers and they will be IMing the news all over Pasadena in no time. Nora's jaw drops as she processes that thought. Man, that hotel is like the Haunted House of my nightmares. Every floor a Walker.
Rewind to 48 hours earlier. Oh it's one of those shows, eh? Where they hand you the gold medal of bad decision-making and then make you watch the events that lead up to it. It's like a reverse after-school special starring the Walker women. Nora is positively embarrassing herself and practically spooning Roger the Architect over his decision to put in dual-flush toilets in the Nora McDonald House. Saul stands back and lets her go at it--just rubbing his chin and chuckling to himself over his gushing sister. Their giggly crushfest is cut short when Nora remembers she has to pick up Paige. Roger kisses her on the cheek and takes his reclaimed wood samples and leaves. Whoa hitting first base in front of the older brother? Risky move, my man. Saul immediately turns to Nora and asks when they fell in lust and Nora denies denies denies. Saul does a naughty little head shake and laughs at her some more.
Sarah, Kyle, and Glasses Guy (who doesn't wear his glasses anymore, so maybe today's the day I bother to learn his name) carry their posterboards and dioramas through a parking garage. They have just left the magical tech conference and Sarah is feeling glum. She let the team down because when their biggest potential investor referred to Twitter, she didn't know what he was talking about. The boys claim they covered for her, but Sarah knows that no tech investor in their right mind would invest in a Web 2.0 company headed by a CEO who doesn't know about Twitter. And she would have a point except that in Walkerlandia, there is no way this ridiculous website is not going to get funded. Sarah complains that she is going to have to live in her car because she took out a second mortgage, but the boys reassure that the big cheese investor is coming to their launch party tomorrow and they can show her how to tweet all about it by then. Sarah knows that the launch party has to be "off the hook" or else all will fail. Nice use of the 90s vernacular there old lady. The boys exchange a look of cultural generational distress. Then Sarah makes another gaffe over the DJ for the party and the boys start to look nervous. Serves you right for hiring a senior citizen, Mutt and Jeff. Sarah's phone rings and she pulls out her StarTac, pulls up the antenna, and hits "accept." I know, I know, you were expecting a tin can with string, but she's not thatold. She is expecting Rebecca, but it's Paige. StarTacs don't have caller ID, I guess. Sarah tells her that grandma is going to buy her a dress for the party and she can pick out whatever she wants for $40 bucks or less. Geez Sarah, maybe back in olden times $40 bucks got you a party dress, but in modern times in newfangled Los Angeles you got to throw down at least a c-note.