Paige and Cooper are unpacking their bags and showing off the souvenirs they bought for the family (lucky Kevin gets a stein!) and when they show her the present they got for Kitty, Sarah's face falls. She starts to tell them about Kitty's kancer, but when she hears the music box play the song "When You Wish Upon a Star" (nice that a Roman music box plays an English song) she falters and decides to tell them later. Why put off 'til tomorrow what you can put off 'til the funeral?
OH GOOD GOD. I am tempted to skip recapping this scene just to SPARE YOU ALL because if you missed it the first time around, why subject you to it now? OH FINE. But don't say I didn't warn you, because I did. So Kitty sent text messages to Scotty, Rebecca, and Kevin telling them to rush over to PASADENA so they can (hands covering face in humiliation) watch Luc swim. They are all lined up on deck chairs around the pool just staring at the Speedo-d Frenchman swimming laps. Yes, with no thought towards decorum or modesty or hint of embarrassment, the Walkers once again show off their inability to play it cool in any situation. They just sit and ogle and comment. Like the MST3K of lap pools. Justin, the lone spoiler, has a towel over his head and groans in the horror; unfortunately his groans are covered by mine. I mean really people. Justin tears a page out of a Women's Studies textbook and denounces their objectification of the aquatic Gaul. Don't they know he has a winning personality? His eyes are up here, people! Everyone mocks him and Kitty does some super idiotic thing with her glasses that I REFUSE to discuss any further. Nora comes out to ruin the fun and attempt to shove some mortification into her children, and she almost manages it, too, but Kitty calls her on not liking Luc. Nora lies and pretends she is fine with him. Really! Pinky swear! (Fingers crossed.) Just then Uncle Saul shows up to join the viewing party and Nora rolls her eyes so hard she has to hit herself in the head a few times to pop them back into place. Then, everyone stops talking as Luc slo-mos out of the pool. The camera does a close up of his abs and calves and wet chest and practically shows us his package (sorry, cadeau!) and every last Walker in the house actually is at a loss for words. It's a Christmas miracle. Saul rushes to hand Luc a towel, introduce himself, and show off his high school French. Le sigh.
Sarah is still at home with her kids. And, now that I think about it, what the heck is Luc still doing in the States? I mean I understand a day or two, but is he really just going to move in with Nora while he woos her daughter? (And, yes, "woo" is a euphemism for whatever the kids call it these days.) And how long will this arrangement last exactly? Oh forget it, I'm going on a leap of faith that THIS IS STUPID and will not ever make sense no matter how much I brush up on my French. Moving on: Sarah is telling Nora that she couldn't get herself to tell the kids that Kitty was so sick. She doesn't notice that Paige is standing about two feet from her and overhears the conversation and now knows that Kitty is sick. Nora chides Sarah for not telling them and Sarah defensively tells her that she will handle it. She abruptly changes the subject to Luc and it becomes very evident that Nora does not like having a half-clothed French man around the house. Is that a side effect of Boniva? Nora claims she just doesn't want so much commotion around Kitty right now (oh sure, blame cancer girl) and Sarah promises to talk to Luc tonight and hangs up on Nora, because how do you argue with cancer?
Et tu, Senator? The Senator sits in Nora's kitchen eating some French food prepared by the manly (but soft!) hands of Luc. The Senator speaks some French (squee!), then Kitty joins their little Manwich looking all dolled up for date night. Nora follows her into the kitchen, begs Kitty to be careful and then compliments her by saying the Republicans don't deserve her, which is just a weird thing to say. As Kitty and The Senator leave for their hot night at the Reagan library, Nora holds Evan like a crucifix to ward off Pepe Le Pew over there who just wants her to taste his mushroom. She tells him to make himself at home and then bolts from the room. Nora, he doesn't bite. (Unless you ask. In French.) Luc looks sad at Nora's abandonment. Who wants to give him a hug? Hands up!
Holly is drinking alone when David walks in and chides her for not calling him. She doesn't tell him that she is broke, but instead tells him that she spent the evening drinking and going over expenses for Rebecca's perfect wedding. She wants David to be the wedding photographer so she can cut that expense. He points out that he will be busy walking Rebecca down the aisle. Instead of recognizing the logic of that argument and, you know, EXPLAINING SHE GOT MADOFFED, she picks a fight with him. She snaps that he treats her like an ATM and stomps out of the room leaving David to scratch his head and mutter something about 'that time of the month.'
At Walker Manor, the first friendly happy dinner party ever is taking place. Scotty, Kevin, Justin, Rebecca, Saul, and Sarah all toast the Renaissance man that is Luc. He cooks, he swims, he paints, he speaks French, wears a Speedo with panache, dances like a star, and doesn't mind being objectified by the lot of them. What's not to love? Adding to his discrete charm, when Sarah flirtatiously points out that she's never seen him dance or swim, he suggests that he and all the Walkers jump in the pool right now! When it is mentioned that they don't have swimsuits, he suggests they go, as the French say, au natural. As the Americans say, ew. Everyone graciously declines, so they opt to dance instead. Justin tries to beg off, but Rebecca wants to show off what they have learned with their dance instruction. How much time has passed? When did they get dance lessons? Was I in a coma again?