Ojai is closing its doors, and it's a family affair: Kevin is manning the phones, Tommy has flown down for the closing bell and Paige is making a documentary of the event. Sarah plans on getting every last bit of equity out of the business, so they are selling off all the land, the vineyard, even the building, chairs and staplers. But when it turns out that the buyer Sarah has lined up for the building wants to pave Ojai and turn it into a parking lot, it's too much for Nora. She is going to find her own damn buyer. And guess who designed the building and may feel a bit sentimental about the old structure? Roger Grant, Nora's old swinging flame. Unfortunately, that plan doesn't last long, because Roger hates the damn building.
Sarah is bound and determined to find jobs for each and every employee she has had to let go. Sarah is even willing to give away semi-trucks as hiring bonuses to companies planning to hire her guys. Kevin, as the head of Ojai's employment assistance program, quickly figures out the plan and points out that it is completely illegal. Yes, yes, apparently embezzlement runs in the family. Sarah has the screamy "I'll sell my house" meltdown that we all know from prior Walker embezzlements, but Paige unfortunately fails to capture it on film for posterity.
Meanwhile, Kitty is practicing jokes for the annual Republican comedy dinner and is failing miserably, and The Senator is so busy running covert ops out of his bathroom that he can't stay and laff. But when the time comes for the dinner, Kitty finds the perfect excuse to get out of the awkward stand up routine. You see, Sarah's meltdown is of epic proportions and Kitty wants to stand by her sister's side. Besides, The Senator can stand in for her.
The Senator meets No Bid Stanton in the back seat of a Lincoln for some illicit dealings. Stanton offers him a sinecure at a rate of $7 million a year for steering a vote his way and giving him the exclusive rights to deal arms to orphans or something. In the bathroom of the comedy shindig, Skeezy Stanton confronts The Senator with his double-dealing. He knows The Senator is trying to set him up in a sting operation. He tells The Senator that he had better get him the contract and foil the sting or else Kitty won't be able to get elected as a dog catcher. Nor will she seemingly be able to escape dated aphorisms.
Justin has a plan and it doesn't involve the military. He wants to go to Haiti and save people's lives, and since Ojai is closing, Rebecca can come with him! Rebecca, however, has her career in mind. What career is that exactly? Well, whatever it is she does, she has a second round interview at a "big" company and she wants to wear a suit and use flush toilets. And when Rebecca gets the job as associate vice president, she is so excited for her career. Although her success may be the death knell for Holly's career, since she applied for the same damn job. Holly pretends it is all for the best, but ageism stings.
Nora shows up at Sarah's house with a Mystery Box from Roger Grant. She and Sarah open it and find the original plans for Ojai Foods enclosed. Also in the box? Plans for a little place called Narrow Lake. Seems like William was going to build Nora her own Dream House, complete with art studio and sewing room. But the real question is, why did Dennis York want that?
Everyone meets at Ojai for one last toast to the old family business. Justin takes a moment to point out that he and Rebecca are miles apart on everything. Kevin pauses to tell Sarah that he fixed her little embezzling problem and helped some of their employees secure a small business loan and they bought the trucks. Then the room goes silent. No one knows what to say, so Scotty sings a song. And on that random note, the lights go out on Ojai Foods.
Lulu Bates a.k.a. Melissa Locker is still not sure whether she prefers Ryan Lafferty to Skeezy Stanton. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
Sarah appears on screen in a slightly fuzzy format with a giant REC sign flashing red beneath her. Either this show got their budget slashed or she is reenacting scenes from Max Headroom. THOSE ARE THE ONLY TWO OPTIONS. In her best Max Headroom voice Sarah explains that her father, William Walker, started Ojai Foods in the tradition of the family farm. At least in that he wanted a family business, not that he wanted to muck manure or sell crap to picky yuppie locavores at a Farmer's market. No, he wanted to rake in money, not in turnip fields. Sarah reminds us that she and Tommy and Uncle Saul all worked at Ojai. Cut to Kevin reminding Paige that he is not the best person to interview since Tommy fired his expensive Gucci-covered ass as a cost saving measure. Glad to see Kevin's not at all still bitter about that. Cut to Paige setting up the camera and explaining to Saul that she is on assignment for history class and is supposed to document her family history. What better way than to document their biggest failure? She asks Saul to explain what Ojai means to him. Don't worry, Saul, you can use this as practice for the interview round of California's Gay Senior pageant. Saul has no answer to Paige's questions. She shows off her editing skills to reveal that Kevin and Sarah can't answer either. Saul tears up and asks to do the interview later. Saul, you are never going to make it on the pageant circuit with that answer.
Sarah has gathered the entire Ojai staff into the loading dock and tries to warm up the crowd with sentimental memories of coming to Ojai as a little girl with her dad. They seem more skeptical than moved. She cuts to the chase: Ojai Foods will be shutting their doors by the end of the week. Everyone gasps and a collective "Oh shit!" rises above the crowd. Although they must have been a little suspicious since Tommy the Embezzler is there and Nora, too, so they must have known something unpleasant was coming downstream. But still: The plight of the working man is never easy. Sarah doesn't explain what happened to Ojai, but she reminds them that they are the heart of the now-dead operation. Um, yay? As for good news: They managed to return the money William stole from the pension funds, so everyone gets a pension! Can I get a heck yeah? No one answers.
Sarah, Holly, and Saul have invited Nora and Tommy to the winding up meeting. I know that Nora is a shareholder and Tommy might be, but isn't Tommy part of the reason they are in this mess in the first place? Wouldn't it be just a bit awkward to have him there? And, are they going to explain how much time has passed? I mean, I assume time has passed because Ojai was struggling but plugging along last week. Did Rebecca pull her money out of the company to buy her Barbie DreamBungalow and thus cause the collapse of the family business? And does this mean that Narrow Lake was nothing? No oil, no rare particulates required for the creation of BareMinerals? No plutonium? If there is nothing there, what was the point of the last two months of episodes? Just filler? Come on, show! I want answers! Anyway. Nora and Tommy are there offering their support like an emotional jockstrap, while the people who actually run Ojai discuss the disbursement of the assets. Tommy has apparently made himself useful and has been running the land sales and reports that all the orchards are in contract and they are negotiating the sale of the vineyard and even the Ojai warehouse. Also, he hasn't embezzled a dime. Isn't everyone proud? No one high fives him, because Holly is too busy cringing at the thought of her vineyard going to the highest bidder while Nora is saddened by the loss of the building. Tommy continues that they are selling off the delivery trucks and the semis and have a liquidation company coming in to sell everything else. Adding to the all-hands-on deck feeling, Kevin has offered to run the job placement center for the soon-to-be unemployed workers. As an unemployed person, he can speak from the heart. Where the heck is Rebecca? Isn't she like the Junior Vice President of Wearing Blazers and Branding Awesomeness? Shouldn't she be there? She's probably dusting her wedding presents.
Kitty is pretending she is in a rom-com chick flick and has grabbed a remote control and is singing into it, whirling around her living room, and dancing along to "Big Girls Don't Cry." Well, close enough: She is using it as a microphone and practicing jokes to her rapt audience of one. After her joke comparing motherhood to the senate bombs, Kevin gives her a little pep talk, but Kitty is sure that she is doomed. Every successful Republican senatorial candidate has killed at the Gold Rush dinner and she sucks. Kevin gives her a few pointers and she starts again. Kevin fake laughs at the joke about the Democrats wanting to change the name of the San Andreas Fault to the Republican's Fault. Kitty glares at him.
Over at Ojai, Sarah stupidly assigns fragile Nora the task of showing the building to a potential buyer. Stupid because Nora is feeling rather emotionally attached to the structure and this is obviously not going to go well. The buyer greets Nora kindly and explains that he too runs a family business and knows this must be hard for them. Nora softens at that and chatters about the changing neighborhood and the lofts going up. The man chuckles that that is why he is here. Nora gasps in excitement over turning Ojai into loft-like luxury condo starter homes for yuppies. It's always been her dream! And now it's come true! It makes selling the building practically bearable. The man stops her: He's not building condos, he's tearing down the building and putting in a parking structure. Nora looks horrified and starts singing Joni Mitchell softly to herself. Then she kicks the man out. Her Ojai paradise will never be a parking lot! Wait...why was the guy touring the building if he was going to raze it? Sarah is not overjoyed by the news that Nora tossed the buyer to the curb, but, seriously, Sarah, you should have expected this. Sarah reminds Nora that they have no choice but to sell the building and Mr. Parking Lot had the highest offer. Nora gets her stubborn face on and tells Sarah she is going to find a buyer herself then. Sarah sighs that she has two days. Yeah, that seems likely.
Sarah is making good on her promise and doing whatever it takes to get her employees new jobs. She and Tommy are on the phone with their gleeful competitor trying to convince him to hire some of their crew. Sarah's sales pitch could use some tweaking though: She tells him that with his biggest competitor going out of business he better start raking in the dough or he is a completely useless moron. Tommy stops her and thanks the guy for listening and hopes he will help them out. Sarah cannot believe Tommy just let the guy off the hook like that and Tommy can't believe Sarah was such a bitch to the guy. Tommy points out that she is freaking out, but Sarah thinks she has really good reason to freak out. And if she can't freak out now, when exactly is she allowed to? Oh I hear you, girl, that looks like just the right temperature for a full on freak out. Also, you're a Walker. You guys have meltdowns over laundry and phone calls not to mention tennis. No, really, don't mention it. Remember two weeks ago when you never knew Team KevRah existed? Yes, let's think back fondly on those times. Tommy asks her nicely not to go ballistic on anyone, including herself. He doesn't want to have to worry about her, too. I think that's a nice thing to say. Is it?
Saul is at Holly's house picking up the last of the confidential files she has been storing there in case she needs to sue any of the Walkers or wants to try her hand at that embezzlement thing. Holly is all dolled up for a job interview at another produce company. Saul compliments her, swears she will knock 'em dead, and calls her sweetheart. Holly laughs that the last time he called her sweetheart they were "dating". They both have a good chuckle over that, because OH MY GOD THEY WERE DATING. Saul laugh