Brothers and Sisters

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Someone's In The Pantry With Keeee-viiiin
The party. Nora shoos Justin out of the kitchen and away from the hors d'oeuvres, which he is messing up by eating them, but not before Tommy can confirm with him that he leaves Tuesday and Justin can lie that that is the case. Nora then compliments Jason on what he and Kevin pulled off, which is Kitty's cue to make a bitchy comment about a moving-out present; Robert tries to soften the remark into something resembling gratitude. Nora takes two centerpieces and bustles out, and Robert hopes aloud that everything will be okay. Kitty: "Why wouldn't it be?" Robert looks for a way to describe his family, and looks to Jason for help, but Jason gives him the hand, and before Robert can explain to Kitty what everyone in the audience already suspects -- namely, that they're a horror show -- the doorbell rings, announcing their arrival. The first one we meet is the notorious Major Weiner, played by Garry Marshall, who as a director I could do without but is one of my very favorites as an actor. His line reading of "She's a boy-eee" in Soapdish is an all-time great. Yes, I know that's two Soapdish references in two weeks. Live with it. Weiner is predictably gauche -- grabby, telling embarrassing stories on Robert, saying "rrrowr" when he's introduced to Kitty -- and as he drags Nora off to the bar, Robert asks Kitty if she's still going to marry him. She giggles, "Yeah, I mean, so you have a crazy uncle," but the uncle is only the tip of the crazy-berg -- he's followed by a butch Kennedy-daughter type who calls the bathroom "the can," a huggy guy clutching a tall-boy, a gummy auntie bearing an artichoke Jell-O something, and a couple who disappear upstairs without permission after the female half hands Kitty a chocolatey drink and tells her not to lose the glass. Heh. Oh, dear. Milo Peterman -- played by Michael Nouri, who's looking a little peaked (read: probably chin-tucked) -- approaches Saul, and they share an awkward hug. Milo doesn't help matters by drawing attention the fact that Saul seems "a little shocked" to see him. Saul parries this; burbly small talk about how long it's been, getting older, fishcakes; Milo says he's sorry they lost touch, and seems to want to head down Memory Lane as he mentions their "trip to the Keys." I'd had my theories, up to this point, about exactly which sort of hair had fallen across Saul's ass because of this guy, but once I heard "the Keys"? I've been to Key West, and if that trip was two straight dudes fishing, I'll eat my hat. Saul sees where Milo's going with that too, and quickly changes the subject to Milo's daughters, then asks about Elaine; Milo confirms that they divorced, and asks if Saul is still a bachelor. Nice of him not to modify it with the word "confirmed," but Saul is just as uncomfortable as if he had, and mutters that some things never change before trying to pull the ripcord with a feeble excuse about little mushroom quiches. Milo is puzzled by Saul's skittishness, and asks if Saul isn't curious as to why Milo left Elaine. Saul already knows why, but he tries to come up with a response anyway, one that will head off the coming-out announcement that he knows is imminent and does not want to have to hear. No joy. Milo is here, he's queer, and Saul is not used to it. Saul does say with kind sincerity that it's "wonderful for" Milo, and very brave, and then he repeats the quiches pretext and escapes.

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Brothers and Sisters

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