Brothers and Sisters

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Cult of Finality

It's the Season Finale!

A door opens in Montevista, Mexico, and a tall dark shadow falls across the floor of the bar. The soundtrack is entirely composed of whistles, too, so you know something nefarious is happening. Well something more nefarious than the whistling, which is kind of annoying actually. But it does sort of make the hair on your arms stand up, even though it's in a fingernails on chalkboard way rather than an on-the-edge-of-your-seat way. Anyway, a dark shadow stains the floor of the bar. The dark and beady eyes of the surly and unshaven locals look up quickly, assessing the scene unfolding without risking eye contact. A foot steps loudly onto the wooden planks, a hand reaches inside a jacket, everyone flinches as the hand shoots out holding a ...phrasebook. It's Nora. She lives in California and speaks half a lick of Spanish with the accent of a French dairy cow or, well, my dad. She has a photo of Tommy and asks where he is. It looks like Tommy's class photo or, maybe Julia made them all head down to the Sears portrait studio for a round of family photos. Maybe that's the real reason Tommy split. And, frankly, forced photography is grounds for divorce in 42 states and Guam. Also, have you all seen Awkward Family Photos? Go look. I'll wait. See? Do not have your well-intentioned family photo end up there. The bartender directs Nora to the guide services of a young boy. He recognizes Tommy from Nora's photo. He can help her find him.

Oh forgive me while I go kick in my television screen. Okay, ouch. Unsuccessful. I wanted to kick in the damn screen because some writer had some terrible lapse in logic and thought it would be fun to torture your poor recapper by making her beloved Kevin play marriage counselor to Kitty and The Senator. So Kevin sits between them refereeing their marital discord. Kitty petulantly declares that she wants to live in Pasadena with her family. The Senator points out that her family, as in husband and child, live in Santa Barbara. Kitty gets all huffy about not wanting to live with The Senator just to keep up appearances while he runs for governor. The Senator points out that he made a pretty big concession in ignoring her emotional affair with the guy he calls "Diaper Man," which is apt, but sounds like a crap name for a superhero. Pun totally intended. Kitty huffs and puffs some more and complains that they should get couples therapy, a point Kevin and I both note approvingly. The Senator has sat through that for over an hour and has to leave, causing more huffing and puffing from Kitty. As he walks out to face his back-to-back meetings, Kitty bitches to Kevin about why he couldn't reschedule even one of his meetings for her. Kevin reminds her that he is Switzerland. Not in the money laundering way, but in the holey Swiss cheese through which all problems flow through him like a sieve way. Obviously. She makes Kevin promise that he won't tell anyone about her marital troubles. Like any Walker in the world could keep that promise.

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Brothers and Sisters




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