Rebecca's and Justin's Hawaiian wedding extravaganza is ruined (RUINED!) by an EVIL hurricane. But obviously we all know that it was way too expensive to fly the whole cast to Hawaii, so they are throwing a Californian luau. If Justin can man up to getting married in a white suit.

Kitty, who is starting to look more and more like India.Arie, goes for her MRI to see how her cancer treatment is going. The Senator is there, too, despite Kitty's protests that he needs to maybe go to Washington and, like, vote or something? Cancer, much like a medical office's waiting room, doesn't care who you are, and it turns out Kitty's tumors have not responded to the chemo and, in fact, have grown. But she doesn't tell anyone because she doesn't want to bum out the bride or interfere with the climate bill.

After last week's drug and alcohol lost weekend, Justin is back on the meeting tip. He confesses that he had a glass of champagne at his bachelor party and submits to the ritual flogging and denuding. In the sheltering anonymity of Narcotics Anonymous, Justin tells his group all the things he can't tell Rebecca, but unfortunately, the group's anonymity doesn't work when the bride-to-be's dad is sitting in the crowd. David reads Justin the marrying-my-daughter riot act. So Justin tells Rebecca about all of his Issues. And that goes over really well, obviously.

Simon shows his seedy underbelly (not in the shower this time) and asks Nora to help him get some money out of a Nigerian bank, all she has to do is give him a $100,000. Luckily she happens to have that much sitting around. Also, Nora does not deserve to be happy, ever. Obviously, Simon runs off to Portland with her hundred grand (not the candy bar, the money).

Obviously, Tommy has to show up to Justin's wedding, and obviously he had to kidnap Elizabeth to make his family hate him more to justify his prolonged absence. Kevin's inner lawyer makes him call Julia, who hops on the next flight to California to reclaim Elizabeth and issue a strong "Screw you!" in the general direction of the Walkers. Except Scotty and Kevin, who invite her for a sleepover. Does "bros before hos" mean nothing to these people??

Remember at the engagement party, where Justin didn't show up for like two hours? He pulls the same shit again. But he snaps out of it when a kid gets hit by a bike in front of him, and he knows at least as much as a Boy Scout and makes a tourniquet out of a tie and sends a smoke signal for an ambulance. The moving experience makes him basically the lead in his own personal life-changing Christmas story. Suddenly he loves his life and can't wait to be a husband, a father, and maybe get a brain transplant so he can be a doctor. But it's too late, Rebecca's already called off the wedding.

But, as the previews last week clearly showed us, that calling off was complete bullshit just meant to manufacture drama. So the California wedding is thrown together at the last minute, everyone dons earth-tone outfits, Justin doesn't shave, Saul officiates, Scotty and Kevin kidnap Elizabeth, someone brings a football, Kitty wears her Sue Sylvester wig, and Rebecca wears a nightgown. It was beautiful. But before the I Dos can be uttered, Kitty collapses. She's not breathing. Now THAT'S drama.