Rebecca is packing because she is moving to her mother's. Justin comes in and...wait, is this it? I think so. Maybe? Yes, this IS the fight we've been waiting for. Justin is all stressed and agitated and storms around the apartment and happy innocent ignorant Rebecca asks him what's up and he explodes all over her. HE'S FLUNKING OUT OF SCHOOL, OKAY? HE'S A MORON OKAY? HE ISN'T THRILLED ABOUT THE BABY, OKAY? HE HAD TO SAY HE WANTED THE BABY, OKAY? HE HAD NO CHOICE, OKAY? HE FORGOT THE RINGS, OKAY? HE WILL PICK THEM UP, OKAY? HE'S LEAVING NOW, OKAY? Rebecca sits at the table with tears in her eyes contemplating her dickhead fiancé. Please take this as a sign and ditch him before the wedding, okay?
At Walker Manor, Nora is dressed (nothing says mother-of-the-groom like pea green nylon blends) and is all ready to play host to what will undoubtedly be a carefree and fun-filled dinner party where the halls will echo with laughter and the guests will be too merry to eat. There has to be a first time for everything, right? Before the guests arrive, Nora wants to fork over a sizeable chunk of her nest egg to Simon. Who needs money to retire when you have no job and there are Guatemalan orphans to send to the sweatshop, right? And why bother having an accountant or your legal eagle son look over the prospectus, right? You have love and a $100,000 check and no apparent emotional or financial obligation to your own charitable organization. That's all you need, right? Simon protests, but then takes it. OBVIOUSLY. He swears that they will have some investor meetings or something. In the shower maybe. Sarah manages to miss this magical comingling of funds, fun, and business, but she does notice Nora's glowing good mood. Nora blames it all on having a "really good feeling" about tonight. Holly, David, and Rebecca show up and Nora greets them with Mai Tais and leis. Scotty has done all the food for the evening and everyone is happy and cheerful. Kevin, Kitty and The Senator arrive and David confronts them with an angry, "Did Justin come with you?" They all look uncomfortable at the angry father-in-law thing and sort of shrug. Kitty is wearing her Sue Sylvester wig for the evening, but otherwise looks lovely until she starts coughing ominously, which is television shorthand for IMMINENT DEATH. Sorry to be the one to break it to you. Everyone looks concerned about her, you know, coughing. I have to say that as a semi-hypochondriac I really hate it when a character starts coughing and everyone freaks out and then twenty minutes later the character dies. It happens so frequently in movies that whenever I choke on a cracker I start getting nervous and call my doctor. My doctor is unmoved by my impeccable logic and imminent doom. Boy, will she be sorry when I die in twenty minutes. Anyway, once Kitty's tragic destiny-laden cough is over we cut to Rebecca hiding in Nora's back room of misery (you know, the one where all the fights take place, but not the one where the interventions happen.) She is calling Justin and begging him not to repeat the engagement party where he showed up two hours late and everyone was freaked out and they got in a huge fight and stuff because WE ALREADY SAW IT. She also asks him not to disappear because they will totally get through this phase (the phase where he is a complete dick all the time) and come out happy and healthy and madly in love. Pinky swear! Justin is unmoved. No, really, he's parked in his Jeep somewhere listening to her voicemail and ignoring it. He is wearing a tie, though, so he had some intention of showing up. As he sits and bemoans his lousy lot in life, god steps in to prove that much much worse things could happen -- a little kid on a bike gets hit by an SUV. Justin's Iraq medic training jolts him from the car and he rushes to the kid's aid. He ties a tourniquet like he means it.
Scotty, Nora, and Sarah are all laughing and giggling in the kitchen despite the fact that Justin is 45 minutes late to his own damn rehearsal dinner. Their giddiness is interrupted by the unexpected arrival of Miss Moodkiller herself: Julia. Everyone is surprised and tries to play nice, but Julia is all business. She wants her kid and she wants her now. She tried to be chill, but no. Everyone tries to talk Julia into letting Elizabeth stay for the rehearsal dinner, but Julia doesn't want to risk Elizabeth catching something from prolonged exposure to the Walkers. Nora looks heartbroken, but Julia isn't falling for it. Tommy comes in and gives Julia the big speech about how he deserves to be punished for what he did last year, but he wants Elizabeth to know her whole family. Julia doesn't fall for that either. When Julia says they will stay at a hotel until their flight in the morning, Scotty offers to let them stay at his and Kevin's place, which for some reason, Julia allows. Nora looks devastated as Julia, Elizabeth, and Scotty leave. Out in the dining room, the Walkers are about to organize a search party for Justin, but Rebecca is finally coming to terms with the fact that Justin is not showing up. She takes a deep breath and tries to break the news to the Walkers that Justin doesn't want to marry her, but Nora can't help but interrupt her. Like, shut up, Nora! So she starts over and explains that they had a big old fight and Justin doesn't want to marry her and she can't make it work. Please rephrase that and say that you don't want to marry Justin, because REALLY? He's been an absentee asshat for weeks now. Just say NO. Rebecca has no choice but to call off the wedding and then makes a run for it, leaving the Walkers to stare at each other in shock. I guess this means Nora won't have a career as a psychic anytime soon.
Later that evening, Kitty and The Senator sit around the house while Kitty tries to reach Justin again and again and bemoans Justin's self-doubting ways. She notes that he is not picking up the phone. OH REALLY? You don't say. Since the wedding is off, Kitty sees no reason for The Senator not to go to Washington and try doing his job for a day. Just one day! He can do it if he applies himself. The Senator shrugs, fine, okay, he'll go to Washington. Why is everyone pressuring him? He's just a senator, its not like the world will stop if he doesn't show up. Sheesh.
Over at The Loft (They always call it "their loft", right? Not "our house" or "the apartment" I want to make sure I get the verbiage correct.) Scotty and Kevin are having one heck of a slumber party. Does Tommy know that Julia and Elizabeth are staying with Scotty and Kevin? Because I can't imagine that will really help patch up the bruised relationship between Tommy and Kevin. Scotty pours the tea (they just finished the scary movies and are about to start the pillow fight), while Julia moans about how all the Walkers hate her right now. Scotty snorts and asks her to join his Walker spouse support group. They meet every third Tuesday at The Loft, drink wine, and testify to the atrocities of the Walker family. Scotty starts to preach to Julia about how strong she is and how she has a job and Tommy is just a big old loser who is following her around like a beaten puppy that the ASPCA is about to rescue and Julia is totally the Big Cheese now and she can do whatever she wants. Julia stares at him in confusion, not realizing the self-healing undertones to Scotty's speech. He spells it out for her: She should forgive Tommy so she can really move on. She smashes him on the head with a pillow.
Justin swims the moat and storms the gate at Holly's house, dodges past Holly's first-round defenses and almost makes it to the inner recesses of the castle like he's a pro at Legend of Zelda (too late?) before David stops him with a hip check and wrestles him into a headlock. Holly makes a plea for clemency because he is the father of their grandchild. As Justin gasps for breath, Rebecca comes out to glare at him. As he apologizes profusely, Rebecca notices blood on his shirt and he gets his opportunity to explain about the accident and taking the kid to the hospital. Rebecca shakes her head in confusion, because it really is a