After a long absence from the Sunday night line up, Brothers & Sisters is back. While we have no idea how much time has lapsed due to the time-space differential in Walkerlandia, Olivia is settling into her new home and showing off her new literacy, when her brother shows up and ruins it all. He's been off for the last six years or so, but Olivia almost recognizes him, and that's enough for him to file for custody. Yes, despite the fact that we were lead to believe that the adoption was complete. The adoption counselor has some splainin to do, so Kevin and Scotty haul her into the restaurant where she backpedals and covers her ass and tries to make it sound super-duper that the judge will hear the case the very next day.
Apparently Kitty is still mooning after her personal barista. Sarah gives her a dirty, dirty pep talk (from one cougar to another), and then Kitty goes to find Seth. He's not thrilled to see her darkening his doorway, but once she explains that it was the Big C rearing its ugly head he feels guilty. But not guilty enough to mention that he's dating one of her students. Gross! Kitty runs out feeling old and wrinkly. Also, smart. She heads over to Sarah's to feel superior and Sarah convinces her to crash the date. Because it worked in 12th grade. No, really. That's the logic. So Kitty gets in touch with her inner high school student and I get too embarrassed by her behavior to watch. Then Sarah and Luc join in the hijinx and I die of the horror. But, of course, it eventually works and Seth comes back to her aging arms.
Nora is still watching after Brody's dog and denying that she has any feelings whatsoever for the man. Then she loses the dog and kills a bunch of trees postering the neighborhood. While she searches for poor lost Lily, Nora offers to invite Olivia's brother over to hang out. Obviously that doesn't go down very well with Kevin and Scotty, but Nora rides into the sunset on her high horse about watching out for Olivia and her needs.
Kevin and Scotty head to court to try and keep Olivia. The judge won't throw the case out even when her brother lets loose with some anti-gay vitriol couched as different values. Nora invites him to dinner anyway. Justin decides to talk to his fellow soldier man to man. That goes about as well as the war. Which war? I don't know, pick one, they all went really well, right? Then Brian (the big brother) tells Olivia that she couldn't see Scotty or Kevin or any of the lesser Walkers if she came to live with him. Olivia doesn't look thrilled about that. Later, Lily the dog comes home with a stray, and Olivia learns a valuable lesson. She tells Nora to take her to the courthouse, she's got some testifying to do. She tells the judge that she wants to be a Walker and she wants her brother to be one, too. The brother looks filled with horror at the prospect. When the judge finds in favor of Scotty and Kevin, Brian storms out. Nora follows him and accuses him of storming out a lot. She recommends he be a big brother instead. So Brian decides Nora is right, which is like the gateway drug to being a Walker. Then he goes to dinner with Olivia and her two daddies and doesn't catch the gayness. Yet.
While the show keeps billing this as a two-hour special, this is really two separate episodes coming together to kill me and also let the network fill some dead air. So in the next episode, Justin turns 30! But he doesn't want to celebrate it. So he cancels a ski trip with "friends" because he finally realized they were imaginary. So all his brothers (well, not Tommy, obvs) and sisters (well, not Kitty because she's in Boston with the barista) throw themselves into party planning. Even though Justin keeps saying he doesn't want a party.
Brody finally shows up to reclaim his dog. Just as Nora thinks she's going to get some lovins, something upstages both that and Justin's big day: Nora's and Saul's mom dies. That's right, Ida is no more. Nora throws herself into funeral planning; Sarah uses the death as an excuse to avoid planning her wedding; Kevin shrugs because Ida never liked him; and Brody mills about trying to get Nora to eat and admit her feelings. Nora snaps at Brody and he tries to flee the scene, but Sarah catches him and guilts him into staying.
Saul is feeling guilty because he never told his mother he was gay. But he also feels bad that his mother disapproved of him for being gay. Then, while cleaning out Ida's room, Justin and Luc find a letter written to Saul. He won't open it though, because he thinks it will just be a stern lecture about his lifestyle from beyond the grave, which would be both spooky and annoying. But, of course, it's a heartfelt and beautiful letter hoping Saul finds love and happiness even if he can't share his life with her. This makes Saul feel worse. Naturally.
At the funeral, Nora loses it and storms out, unable to give a eulogy to a mother who never really liked her. Brody cheers her on for finally being honest. Later he tells Nora the truth: He got fired from his job. He came back to Pasadena to get Lily and also her. Then they kiss. Awwwwwwww.
Meanwhile, Scotty's mother had to invite herself to meet Olivia, her only grandchild, and she is determined to make Scotty and Kevin suffer for that fact. Also, Olivia can't stand her. Kevin gets Scotty's mom drunk and tells her to practice the fine art of zipping it.
The wake is, of course, at Scotty's and Saul's café. Everyone clears out except the Walkers, who drink all the wine and laugh and tease and remind you (maybe) of why you watch this show even when it is two hours long and you have other shows to watch, you know?
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Lulu Bates a.k.a. Melissa Locker would rather be sleeping (next to Gilles Marini). You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
After a long absence from the Sunday night line up, Brothers & Sisters is back. While the promos for this episode keep billing it as a super special two-hour episode, upon closer inspection this is just two episodes aired back to back instead of on consecutive weeks. Basically, they just wanted you to have a Dana Delany palate cleanser before forcing you to eat your vegetables. The Walkers are the vegetables in this analogy, yes, even though The Senator is long gone. (See what I did there?) Anyway, shut up and eat your veggies: Olivia is holding Kevin and Scotty hostage in the café. She insists that they keep their eyes shut so they can't see her face and she won't have to kill them if she doesn't want to. You know, usual foster kid stuff. What? I get all my stereotypes from Law & Order: Perverts. Oh wait, Olivia's not holding them hostage, she is just trying to surprise them with her B+ on spelling. Seems that Scotty and Kevin missed that article on Tiger Mothers because they are super thrilled that their darling adoptee
got a B has failed to get an A. Granted, she only started reading ten weeks ago, but really THAT IS NO EXCUSE. Scotty then not only rewards Olivia with words, but also with gelato. (Kids these days! When I was a young'un we got good old-fashioned ice cream and WE LIKED IT.) While Kevin rubs the B+ paper all over his face and moans slightly in glee, Scotty ushers Olivia into the kitchen for her snooty treat.
The phone rings and while Kevin is trying to gloat, Sarah who has raised two geniuses of her own, ignores him to talk about Kitty and how her house is untidy and how this is clearly a sign of deep mental distress and not of single motherhood. I mean, newspapers on the counter! That is the first sign of schizophrenia. Go check it out in the DSM, I'll wait. Sarah has used her considerable business skills to make a diagnosis of depression. If there is one thing she learned at Wharton it was that untidy counters plus watching re-runs of Full House equals depression. Kevin is starting to lose his parental glow as he hears the bad news, but he doesn't think the Kitty situation is as dire as Sarah does. After all, wouldn't you feel a wee bit sorry for yourself if you just had traumatic bone marrow something or other and were forced to eat kale? I mean, gah: KALE. Is there any better reason to watch Full House than forced kale eating? I mean, sure, Uncle Jesse is a hottie, but nobody without a death wish watches Dave Coulier. And don't even get me started on Candace Cameron.