Brothers and Sisters

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Two Hours! Two Hours!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

After a long absence from the Sunday night line up, Brothers & Sisters is back. While the promos for this episode keep billing it as a super special two-hour episode, upon closer inspection this is just two episodes aired back to back instead of on consecutive weeks. Basically, they just wanted you to have a Dana Delany palate cleanser before forcing you to eat your vegetables. The Walkers are the vegetables in this analogy, yes, even though The Senator is long gone. (See what I did there?) Anyway, shut up and eat your veggies: Olivia is holding Kevin and Scotty hostage in the café. She insists that they keep their eyes shut so they can't see her face and she won't have to kill them if she doesn't want to. You know, usual foster kid stuff. What? I get all my stereotypes from Law & Order: Perverts. Oh wait, Olivia's not holding them hostage, she is just trying to surprise them with her B+ on spelling. Seems that Scotty and Kevin missed that article on Tiger Mothers because they are super thrilled that their darling adoptee got a B has failed to get an A. Granted, she only started reading ten weeks ago, but really THAT IS NO EXCUSE. Scotty then not only rewards Olivia with words, but also with gelato. (Kids these days! When I was a young'un we got good old-fashioned ice cream and WE LIKED IT.) While Kevin rubs the B+ paper all over his face and moans slightly in glee, Scotty ushers Olivia into the kitchen for her snooty treat.

The phone rings and while Kevin is trying to gloat, Sarah who has raised two geniuses of her own, ignores him to talk about Kitty and how her house is untidy and how this is clearly a sign of deep mental distress and not of single motherhood. I mean, newspapers on the counter! That is the first sign of schizophrenia. Go check it out in the DSM, I'll wait. Sarah has used her considerable business skills to make a diagnosis of depression. If there is one thing she learned at Wharton it was that untidy counters plus watching re-runs of Full House equals depression. Kevin is starting to lose his parental glow as he hears the bad news, but he doesn't think the Kitty situation is as dire as Sarah does. After all, wouldn't you feel a wee bit sorry for yourself if you just had traumatic bone marrow something or other and were forced to eat kale? I mean, gah: KALE. Is there any better reason to watch Full House than forced kale eating? I mean, sure, Uncle Jesse is a hottie, but nobody without a death wish watches Dave Coulier. And don't even get me started on Candace Cameron.

Since Kevin is talking on the phone to one Walker the laws of science insist that another Walker call immediately. So Nora calls and Kevin is compelled by physics to answer. Nora is actually calling to talk to Scotty, but Kevin can't help but answer the phone, even though it is not his phone and he is already on the phone. Next time someone says that you can't fight Mother Nature, remember this and nod knowingly. Nora is calling about dog food, because she still has Lily, Brody's dog, and is still pretending she doesn't like her and is still pretending to be annoyed that Brody left her, even though we all know Nora is delighted to have the company and if she didn't have the dog she would be snuggling with a body pillow and dusting the philodendron. So Nora prattles on about dog food while Sarah prattles on about Kitty's diet and Kevin is stuck in the middle BY CHOICE (or genetics!) and accidentally mumbles something about kibble to Sarah and she gets offended and blessedly hangs up. Then Nora starts yelling about the dog some more and hangs up too and Kevin tells Olivia how happy he is that she is adopted. Is that an appropriate thing to say to your recently adopted child?

So it turns out that Sarah was talking about Kitty to Kevin while Kitty was actually in the house. Then she starts cleaning Kitty's house... and I don't know about you, but when I go to someone's house it is usually to interact with him or her. Instead, Kitty and Evan are watching television while Sarah talks smack about her in the other room. Kitty comes out to get Evan a snack and Sarah tells her that she misses hanging out with her. Um, Sarah, SHE'S RIGHT THERE. Go hang out with her! Sarah claims she is worried about Kitty, so Kitty smiles and pretends that she is still lovelorn over the barista and that's why she is such a Debby Downer. Explicitly not because she lost her husband last year, sort of this year, is a single mother, has no job, and just faced yet another complication from her cancer. No no, none of that, but she is a wee bit upset over the fact that she ditched her puppy-dog-eyed grad student to go tackle cancer treatments alone. Sarah suggests that she maybe tell Seth about her feelings? Kitty claims she can't handle getting a door slammed in her face and then tries to change the subject to Sarah's impending nuptials that she has failed to plan. Sarah isn't falling for that trick, though, and instead gives Kitty some helpful fashion tips (cropped Dolce & Gabbana jacket! Form-fitting cashmere sweater!) that will guarantee that Seth will fall helpless in her arms like Silly Putty. Very sexy Silly Putty. Kitty looks intrigued by this notion of dressing Walker slutty (cashmere sweater?) and actually telling a guy that she likes him. Sarah provocatively snacks on a carrot and gives Kitty her best "Go for it" eyes.

Nora has managed to misplace Lily. Justin, who is loitering around Walker Manor for no apparent reason, is no help, but does catch on that perhaps Nora is caring for Lily because she secretly cares for Brody? Nora taunts him right back that he is just teasing her because he can't handle the fact that he is turning 30. Justin denies any correlation and I am apt to believe him because, well, there is no correlation. Nora then realizes that the front door is open and Lily is long gone. Oh the shame!

Olivia is working on her homework alone in the cafe. Now that she has been reading for ten whole weeks she has no need of further assistance. Then some creepy looking guy comes in with an air of Lutheran about him. He says hello to Olivia and she stares at him crookedly. He asks if she recognizes him and then she realizes it is her brother, Brian, who she hasn't seen since she was five. She runs to give him a big hug. Scotty and Kevin come back into the dining room to find their daughter hugging a strange man in a button up shirt. Olivia introduces them and they try not to be skeeved out, but it's difficult. Brian explains that he was fighting in Afghanistan but is back now and wanted to find Olivia. He gives no explanation as to how he knew where she was living. I mean, cree-pee!

Brian hands Olivia his card and turns to leave, as Kevin follows him to ask him about his intentions. Speaking in weird hushed tones, Brian tells Kevin he hasn't contacted Family Services yet, but instead just stalked the crap out of Olivia to see if she even remembers him and now is planning on filing paperwork to be her guardian and make them a family again.

Kevin is not exactly thrilled by the news. Obviously they head straight to the adoption/foster care coordinator's office. She gives them the usual lines about Olivia's mystery brother "falling through the cracks" and she is truly sorry. Sorry doesn't cut it in this case. Kevin demands answers to such questions as: Where the hell has this kid been for the last five years of Olivia's life? The foster care coordinator looks abashed but has few answers. The brother was in the army, she knows that much. The only thing she can offer the already grieving parents is a moved up court date so that this issue can be resolved ASAP instead of being dragged out over the course of weeks like an actual court case, which would then run into this show's summer hiatus. Kevin and Scotty agree that they want this resolved

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Brothers and Sisters

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